Sunday, February 10, 2008

DITMTLOD: I HEART the 90's - Part 3

The Honorable Mentions

So, I've already covered several DITMTLOD of the 1990's. I thought I'd include a list of honorable mentions of the era, whom we may return to for further exploration in future installments.

Here's a smattering of folks who almost, almost made the list. I've also asked a few Leaguers to tell me who they thought deserved to make the list. Steven has promised a list of his own, but dare he deliver...?

Part 3 - Subsection A: The Honorable Mentions

Who almost made the list?

Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor in Terminator 2
Why: Because she's tougher than nails and will kick you in the head
Why not: Because she's tougher than nails and will kick you in the head

Jodie Foster
Why: She was great in Silence of the Lambs, Little Man Tate and was the only part of "Contact" that I liked.
Why not: Fessing up to an admiration for Ms. Foster can get you on watch lists for the Secret Service, the FBI, the CIA and the Girl Scouts of America

Why: The video for "Shoop"
Why not: I am not sure I was a fan of the actual music of Salt'n'Pepa. Plus, I think, like a lot of girl groups, they had the Voltron effect. They were better (and more formidable) together than apart.

Salma Hayek
Why: Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn
Why Not: Pretty much everything else she did in the 1990's, capped off with "Wild, Wild West", which I blame on her agent.

Jamie McBride in "The Final Cut", "Finding Mike", "Ryan's 16mm test footage"
Why: Super foxy. Mysterious, kick-ass allure.
Why not: After 2000, didn't appear in much but in Christmas and travel videos produced by video auteur Dick McBride.

Part 3 - Subsection B: Dames of Interest from Other Leaguers

  • Alicia Silverstone - Most infamously from "Batman & Robin". I don't know what to say. I know she was considered to be the next big thing in the mid-90's, but I found her annoying and kind of dumb. Also, "Clueless" is not cutely subversive. It is terrible.
  • Betsy Lynn George - Actress, Video: Billy Idol's "Cradle of Love". I always felt sorry for that dude in the video. That crazy lady broke all his stuff and drank his booze. If I wanted that, I would watch "Jerry Springer".
  • Jenni from Jennicam - I had no idea who this was and had to look it up. Wow. We really had no understanding of the power of technology in the 90's, did we?
  • Lisa Loeb - She was so cute in her big glasses, but on the 1000th play of that song, man, it started to bug... To nobody's surprise, Wikipedia says she has a degree from Brown in Comparative Literature. Of course she does.
  • Tanya Harding - You kind of have to respect her for thinking outside the box. And, really, remember how they tried to turn Kerrigan into America's Sweetheart, and then she dissed Disney and the plebes come to cheer her? Maybe Harding was on to something. Plus, Harding surprised everyone when she beat the tar out of Paula Jones on celebrity boxing. What wasn't to like?
  • Kate Winslet - Who was prettier in Titanic? She or Leo? Winslet is one of the most talented actors of her generation, and easy on the eyes. But in the 1990's, I mostly associated her with "Heavenly Creatures", and therefore was afraid of her.
  • Claudia Schiffer - a model of the super variety. I understand she's supposed to be really smart. But didn't she marry David Copperfield for a while?
  • Cindy Blackman (Lenny Kravtiz's touring drummer from the 1990s) - You remember this dame from the video for "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" This lady seemed like a rock-solid percussionist as well as being attractive in cooler-than-an-ice-cube sort of way. The League's hat is off.
  • Lara Croft (the video game character- not Angelina Jolie) - Not sure what to make of this, so best not to think about it too much.
  • Shannon Tweed - I am a virtuous and pious man and have no idea who Ms. Tweed is.
  • Gates McFadden & Mariana Sirkis - Dr. Crusher and Counselor Troi of Star Trek: The Next generation. In 1995 I was involved in a debate at Captain Quakenbush's that wound up involving, I do not lie, most of the coffeeshop. While a friendly debate, "Are you a Dr. Crusher man, or into Counselor Troi?" led to many-a-dude spontaneously volunteering their opinion. Me and the guy serving the cappucinos? Dr. Crusher.
  • Leslie Hardy, Keyboardist for the Murder City Devils - No idea who this is.
  • Linda Fiorentino - Never seen a Linda Fiorentino movie. The descriptions of the movies always sounded like the "erotic thriller" plots from Cinemax late night.
  • Girl from "Mr. Jones" video - Counting Crows and their frat-friendly faux-college rock make me itch. I tried to watch the video on YouTube for research and couldn't do it. I'll have to take your word for it.
  • and... Tawny Kitaen, for her performance in a White Snake video or two. It was later deduced that was the 1980's. However, Ms. Kitaen took the place of Loni Anderson in the 1990's "New WKRP in Cinicinatti" as the resident secretly brilliant bombshell. She was a poor substitute for Anderson.

That's it. And will be it for quite some time. I am quite drained after so many DITMTLOD, and I assume the readership is quite sick of it as well. Well, this week we'll be back to comics, movies, dog reports, and more of the same uselessness you've come to expect.

That said, we have a comments section. Feel free to chime in and tell me where I went wrong on this whole "dames" thing.


Anonymous said...

It's good thing the League is not married to a fiesty Latina or his lists would basically be like a Hunting List for his wife. My sweet bride gets all Aztec warrior anytime it is even hinted that I used to think "x" was attractive, or at the mention of an ex-gf. She would have already the severed heads of half my list in the freezer right now.

Luckly the jealousy gene is only reserved for the lustees not the lustor, so I get off without reprimand. Funny how that works.

In other news, Herbie Hancock apparently just won a Grammy ? Is it 1986 ? Have we as a society regressed to listening to poorly made and written synthesizer licks ? I am assuming he has polished his abilities quite a bit in the last 20 years.


The League said...

Firstly, Herbie's "RockIt!" stuff was earlier than 86'. By '86, Herbie was a well-established and hugely successful artist who just happened to experience some cross-over success on MTV. Secondly, Herbie is one of the foremost jazz artists of our day. In 2001, Jason, Jamie, Reed and I saw him at One World Theater, and it was one of the best shows I've ever seen.

Before criticizing Herbie, check out "Maiden Voyage", "Thrust" and, my favorite "Head Hunters".

Rant end.

Jamie has been a sport about this whole thing, and, honestly, the reason the third list took so long to get posted was because I started feeling bad about the whole thing.

She's incredibly patient with all this, and I certainly would never intend for it to upset her.

For folks looking at the list and figuring out how Jamie fits in, if it seems like I dig tough dames, I do. And while Jamie may seem mild-mannered, nobody (and I mean NOBODY) knows how to fight when the chips are down like my lovely wife. If I didn't honestly believe that, I wouldn't be where I am today.

She might pick her battles (and they certainly aren't going to be battles of words), but if you're looking for someone to get your back when you're headed into a tough situation, tap Jamie for your team.

Anonymous said...

Having lived with the League I knew Jamie is tough just because she has braved the wildunknown that is living with the League.

I admit to having no knowledge of Herbie Hancock outside of his rock it song that I ahd actually forgotten the name of. Good for him that he has made it big in jazz. If I listened to jazz I would surely add him to my collection.

The League said...

Honestly, Peabo, your musical tastes are so ecclectically diverse, I am somewhat surprised he hasn't made the rotation at some point through your CD player.

Anonymous said...

Don't get me started on Herbie, man!!!

"River" is neither electro-jazz nor is it cheese. It's a terrific album.

And I second the League's album recommendations, and add these:

"The Prisoner"
"Gershwin's World"

...and all of the kick-ass mid 1960s Miles Davis records that Herbie played on, particularly "Miles Smiles."

Peabo, if you want a sample, I'll send you a disc. I'm happy to spread the gospel of Herbie funk. Drop your USPS address to me through the League if'n you want a taste.

That goes for all Leaguers, actually. Lemme know.

J.S. said...

Well, although I am also a Herbie Hancock lover, I was fairly shocked to see him pull down a Grammy this year, especially with a form of tribute album to Joni Mitchell. But, yeah, Peabo, you gotta go but Headhunters, in the very least. It will put a funky bounce in your step all day long (and you'll probably be surprised to recognize a song or two).

Also, I look forward to Jamie's guest post of: Dudes in the Media that McSteans Once Dug. I look forward to seeing Jason Priestley and Brian Austin Green at the top of the list.

JAL said...

Crazy. Tania and I saw that same show at One World Theatre. I was wonder who kept noisily eating popcorn and yelling "RockIt!" every time he did not play "RockIt!"

Mwandishi is pretty amazing.

The League said...

You must have been there for the later set. I know he played a second set, and unless I was really, really not paying attention, we would have seen one another in that space.

So, you missed the set where the lady went to the restroom and her phone rang. And then whomever it was called back. Twice.

JAL said...

I didn't realize there were two shows. That would explain not seeing you.

The cell phone ringing sounds terrible. The highlight of our show was Herbie coming back from a break, playing the piano's strings with one hand and using the keys with the other. Maybe I just havne't been around pianos enough, but I'd never seen anyone skip the keys to get music out of a piano.

The League said...

That was definitely a second show. Herbie was in a good mood, but kept segueing into talking about his new Mac. It was kind of hilarious.

I recall his drummer was also very, very good that evening.

mcsteans said...

Oh Steanso, it sounds as if you are issuing a challenge. I may just compile a 'Dudes' list, although I can guarantee you no 90210 alum will make the list. Too cheesy.

The League said...

I welcome HunnyBunny's list. It shall make for a super-super special edition of DITMTLOD.