Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Yahoos Claim to Have Corpse of Sasquatch

Hat tip to Occasional Superheroine for locating this story on CryptoMundo (what I assume is the New York Times for all your cryptozoological needs).

I've updated my link to a story where there are photos of the alleged creature.

Jason will surely freak out about all of this, but here we go...

Apparently some guys claim they have the body of a Bigfoot, found in Georgia. They're keeping the body in a freezer somewhere under armed guard until it can be released to the scientific community tomorrow. I, personally, think that this picture could be something, or it could be a latex mask and a costume shoved into a freezer with some deer innards. But I do find it interesting that they're taking it this far if its a hoax.

"But League," you say, "The Bigfoot lives in the Pacific Northwest!"
Oh, my friends... Bigfoots live all over the US. From our friends of the piney woods of Washington to the Bigfoot of Eastern Oklahoma to the Skunk Ape of Florida. Heck, if you turn and look around fast enough right now, there's probably a Bigfoot standing behind you.

The League streaks Zilker Park

Now, The League tends to be a bit cynical when it comes to cryptozoology. We're hopeful, but we mostly think that an undocumented species of 8 foot ape living in the US at this point is as likely as me learning Emmanuel Lewis is secretly living in Jamie's walk in closet.

I say that, but they DID just find several 10's of thousands more gorillas in Africa, so...

Anyway, mostly I'm deeply cynical of hoaxes and peoples' natural inclination to perpetrate hoaxes.

It will be interesting to see what these guys came up with. But it raises a good question.

Let us suppose these fellows in Georgia really have the body of a Bigfoot, and their find is confirmed and welcomed by the scientific community.

A) When you learn of the Bigfoot's authenticity, who is the first person you would tell?

B) If Bigfoot is real, what else might be real?

C) How would knowing Bigfoot is real change your outlook on life?

D) A Texas Oil Tycoon has offered a 300 million dollar bounty for finding and bringing back a corpse from another Bigfoot so he can stuff it and put it over his fireplace. A DotCom billionaire has offered 100 million for the first living Sasquatch brought into captivity. He's built a majestic habitat for the Bigfoot in Redmond, Washington. You think you know where a Bigfoot might be.

What do you do?

E) Any other thoughts on the possible reality of a Bigfoot?


J.S. said...

a) I would tell the Weekly World News. They're the world's only reliable news.
b) If Bigfoot is real, Iraqi weapons of mass destruction were probably real as well (and air rods- also surely real).
c) You guys didn't think that Bigfoot existed? Really?
d) start growing my hair and my beard out so I can go live for free in that Bigfoot habitat
e) if Bigfoot is real and hasn't been caught after all of this time, he's very, very smart. Maybe we should just leave him alone.

Anonymous said...

Link is down! Mirror, please!

The League said...

You're on your own. I suggest Googling "Bigfoot freezer", as that's where they shoved our simian pal.

Cryptomundo is getting a lot of traffic. There's a traffic jam in the tubes.

mcsteans said...

A) The president. He always knows what to do.
B) Nessie, obviously.
C) Not one bit
D) Slap a costume on the League. We could move to Redmond, right? Especially with 100 million.

Michael Corley said...

As I said in the future, there is no bigfoot. However, I highly recoomend renting the MST3K with "BogeyCreek Monster II" It's really really bad and really really funny.