Noom Goes the Ry-namite

I have a lot of reasons I got fat again.  I won't belabor them here.  

But I did get heavy again.  Which is a bummer.  I was doing fantastic before COVID, and the arrival of COVID obviously meant gym-time took a hit.  And this happened and that happened, and I kind of quit caring and fooled myself into thinking I was doing fine.  I was not.

My job is work-from-home, and I have no kids to cart around, so there are days when I literally do not go further than the front or back porch.  And leaving the house means spending money.  My car is 9 years old and has 53,000 miles on it, so we're not exactly out and about.

Post-COVID I'd been slowly working on getting back to a healthier life, but something else happened:  I turned 50.

Holy smokes does your body decide it's going into low gear all of a sudden at this age.  Or at least mine did.  It was like everything suddenly started getting just marginally physically harder - and then I broke my foot and atrophied on the couch for a few months.  That was... bad.

In June we got Emmylou.  Immediately, me and the pupper started walking - so I was guaranteed a few miles every day.  But in late September my foot was having issues, and eventually I realized it was broken and that was September - January, where I was more or less out of commission.  I wound up on the sofa, bored, and not caring.  And snacking.

In January or first of February I started walking regularly again.  It's been good.  In the winter I went after work and now that it's warmer I do it around 6:45 AM.  We try to get in about two miles.  Some days more, same days a tad less as I mix up which ways we're walking in our patch of suburban sprawl.

Emmylou has been key to getting going as she's a creature of habit, and she expects to go out in the morning now.  Thus, thanks to my wee friend I get no excuses.  Sure, she doesn't understand pouring rain and that's a problem, but we go out even in a light drizzle.  And once I'm out, I am good to go.

I'd added in some elliptical, too.  And that's been funny because the elliptical muscles are not the walking muscles.  There is no uneven terrain on an elliptical, you don't step over stones or go up hills the same way.  And, good for me and my heart, our neighborhood is built on some hills, so I can find a wide variety of terrain with unpaved paths and whatnot.  But I am pushing myself more on the elliptical, and that's been okay.

And I like the elliptical.  I can watch a movie or whatever while I'm stuck on the thing.

But - all of that doesn't really help unless you change your diet.  And I love food.  I love junk food. 

Gimme a gas station packed frosted honey bun any day.  I love pizza, cheeseburgers and fries.  I love cookies.  And I know I will reach for those things, sometimes without thinking about it until after I've already blown through a few thousand calories.

And you and I both know - you can't do that and keep the Marvel-movie-ready body.  

The best thing I can do, really, is count calories.  And eat right when I do eat.  

Here in 2026, after consulting with my physician, I am now using the Noom App.

"Have you thought about a pill/ shot?" you are likely thinking.  And the answer is "nope, not til I've tried the basics of eating less and exercising".  Like, I get the appeal of shedding those pounds magically, but I also know if I kept eating gas station sweet rolls, all of this will be very bad in the end.  So I might as well try to do the basics of good behavior first and see where we get.    

And after I've done that, I hope to get to the gym in a while - time allowing.

And if I'm still worried I am not the svelte, sexy fellow you signed up to read, well... we'll see.

Noom does a few things.  

It's a calorie counter, but it also categorizes foods by type.  Like - is this high in protein and/or fiber, ie: the things you should be eating?  Or is it a birthday cake?  And it kind of scolds you if you're getting all of your calories from birthday cake.

But if you're like Rocky Balboa and downing raw eggs, it gives you a high five (one you may be annoyed to get.  Like, settle down, Noom).  I am also banking "seeds" but for what?  I have no idea.  It's some gamefictation I didn't sign up for, but here I am.

It also tracks your steps and you can add your exercise, and that adjusts your total calorie intake.

As I am on day 20-something, I think I'm doing well.  I weighed in, and I am losing weight.  Not a shock.  I'm counting calories and I'm staying on course with my walking and elliptical.  

Noom is loosely tied to Google Fit, and so it's tracking my steps, but not my actual work outs, which is odd.

Things I don't like:

It's an upsell machine.  I'm paying for the barebone basics, and it seems like it wants to sell me coaching and a dozen other things.  

It also wants me to sign up my friends like I'm in the yoga pants cult.  Like, yes, I understand accountability, but I cannot imagine hitting y'all up and being like "yo, Stuart, Randy...  let's all eat right, bros."  That's a personal decision and I will not be in anyone's grill about their choices.

It also doesn't prioritize the workouts in the app.  Which may suggest who it is for.  You can easily add exercise, but "workouts" is not on the first screen on the app.  I suspect the app is for people who want to eat differently and maybe go for strolls, and that is *great*, honestly.  But I get sick of navigating the app to add "I went for a 35 minute walk".

Anyway - we'll see how it goes.  I'm still in month one, and I've done well for years at a time like this.  I just don't want to keep yo-yo'ing my BMI forever.  But so far - it seems to be working.