So, The League returns from Vegas.

The League's last visit to Vegas bridged 9-11-2001.
During a visit which occured prior to 9-11, I was watching CNN with a co-worker while Harris and Klebold changed what it meant to go to high school.

So, you know, The League was sort of wondering what national tragedy was going to light up the headlines while we were away. Looks like we got off lucky.

In truth, it was a very un-Vegasish Vegas trip. No walking of the Strip or Freemont street. Virtually no gambling. No shows. Only a handful of hookers and drug deals gone bad.

Due to circumstances beyond The League's control, instead of leaving Tuesday after work as planned, The League didn't get out until Wednesday morning.

On the flight, I was trying to mind my own business and read my book, and ended up sitting next to a guy hitting on a married woman for the entire duration of the flight. Even more creepy, I think she was going for it to some extent. Both were dumb as dirt, and the woman made it very clear she'd spent her adult life living off of a series of wealthy men while the guy lied about being in the Marines (I'd heard him talk about his 2003 discharge on my way down the ramp to the plane).

Conference was nice. Took place at the Hilton and the Convention Center. Ran into folks from my employing university and a few other folks I know.

The League was nominated for an award, but we lost. The pain quickly subsided as The League's evening was paid for by the company sponsoring the awards in the first place. First, we watched the Spurs defeat the mighty Pistons in a hard-fought contest and drank a lot of beer. Then we moved on to a steak house which looked like a cheesy set from Miami Vice and had a really good meal and some wine. Then we went to the Ghost Bar atop The Palms casino.

You know, it doesn't matter how much money you spend or how how much time has passed. I always feel like odd-man out at the 8th-grade dance when I go to a club. It just makes me want to crawl out of my skin. The League has a few social issues he's working on, but large crowds and having to scream to be heard makes us want to run for our life.

I stayed down at the far-end of The Strip, and the truth is, Circus Circus is a really weird place. It's not a high-end expensive-type place like the Bellagio, and it draws a different clientele. Nice folks. Less flashy. Folks who enjoy a good clown-theme when they see one.

Vegas, itself, smells bad. It's a city which makes money off of getting as dirty as possible 24 hours a day. The air in the casinos smells awful and is weird and recycled. I'd say it's what the guys must be breathing on the ISS, but astronauts don't contend with millions of retirees puffing on their Kools. Outside, once it gets a might-bit warm, it always sort os smells like someone might have cut one just and you walked right into it. I can only guess where the smell comes from, and it seems confined to the far-end of The Strip. But it's there.

Today The League conferenced again. Then we went to the midway at Circus Circus for about an hour, then we flew away. Luckily, this time I sat with a 10 year old girl who spoke no english, but was really very nice. We looked at the SkyMall catalog together and she told me about a few products in Spanish. She wound up getting the stuffed dog I won for Jamie on the midway for not being obnoxious like the folks on my flight in.

My folks are in tomorrow.

Gotta go check e-mail.

Some odds and ends before I depart:

1) While not a contest, Leaguers sent in some great names for Nathan's new blog.

We now have:

Attack of the Cones
Send in the Cones
Mr. Blog
Nathan's New Groove
Corn!
The Wrath of Cone
Coneferous

And my personal favorite: The DaVinci Cone

I do believe this one somehow crossed the line from giddy silliness to certain sublime absurdity. Is Nathan the sacred feminine? An inverted Cone, if you will?

Nathan has suggested, himself: I Like Cold Water

This title also seems like a good fit for Nathan. Of course, there is no guarantee of a blog appearing at all, but I think Nathan has to be happy to know that maybe he'd get some spillover readers from The League if he did, indeed, launch his own journal. That, and Nathan routinely broadcasts his own voice to the greater San Antonio area, so he's got a better chance at drawing folks in. This is in contrast to The League who can't even keep the attention of a puppy.


2) Heroes and Villains

I felt as if we had acceptable participation in the "who do you like for a villain" sweepstakes.

Jim felt the need to bring up MadCap, and has been dealt with. The very fact that I can't find a decent bit of reference on MadCap should tell you something.

The League will be working on a Top 10 villain countdown. We may even do a top 10 Marvel Villain AND a Top 10 DC villain countdown. But that all depends on comments posted below.


3) Site redesign

So, what do you chumps think? Telling you guys how long this took would be totally embarassing as it would reveal exaclty how much I don't know about html.

You may recall the former color-scheme. Some time ago, when we were ready to leap head-first into blogging, The League had sort of picked the least offensive template we could find and just stuckw ith it. But recently, we'd begun to feel a little down about an orange, red and green scheme. It just didn't scream "HEY, KIDS! COMICS!" Also, the many, many items tossed into the html gutters around the daily copy had sort of left The League feeling as if the site was looking like a yard sale.

So, anyway, MAKEOVER!!! (You must all find a copy of Clone High, Season 1. Do it now.)

Masters of site design, Jim D. and RHPT, have been making suggestions. I've taken them all under consideration, and the ideas have really worked. I think. Randy's suggestion to make all of the text scrolling blink tags is still in the works. You can expect to see animated gifs of torches here soon.


4) Saw Madagascar this weekend. I wasn't expecting much, but it was pretty funny. Most kids' movies have a sort of sappy moral homily buried under the fart jokes and grannies falling down. Madagascar is mostly moral-lesson free. That is, unless you want for your kids to be prepared with a moral compass should you guys ever get stuck on a trip and suddenly you realize your dinner reservations are under "Donner, party of four... no, three!".

Anyway, maybe not something for which you'd pay full-price, but it's a decent renter, or maybe worth matinee price.


5) Batman Begins was screened at a comic convention in Philadelphia. Reviews have been universally glowing, which is extremely rare in the nitpicky world of comic geeks.

I'm excited. Expect a full "Batman and Me" post in the near future.


6) I read "Mage: The Hero Discovered" over the weekend. While aspects of 80's comic storytelling linger, it's an enjoyable read with classic Matt Wagner art. I kept thinking Jason would have liked this series during it's initial run, and I'm not sure how he missed it.




7) Ring a ding-ding

Off to Vegas. Jim D. called to let me know of a targeting range off the Strip which works on an hourly rate. Apparently, under close supervision, one can rent an M-16, an uzi, or any number of firearms. Then, one buys a box of ammunition and unleashes a lot of frustration upon a helpess paper target.

The League isn't nuts about guns in general, but this, Leaguers, sounds right up our alley.

Also, Lt. LT chimed with some Las Vegas ideas. Well, one idea: El Cortez Casino. Sounds like exactly The League's sort of place. Not much appears to have been updated since the El Cortez's booming 1960's success. If the low-fi website is any indication, it seems a swell time.

8) Return to Comics must be reading The League. Which is good. We're reading Return to Comics, and we highly recommend it.

Return To Comics also brought up Halo, who The League probably had some sort of twisted crush on back in the mid-80's. Alas, Halo was much older than me, sort of dead/ sort of a cosmic entity, and a fictional character. It just didn't work out.


It was the 80's. I was 11. I have no further explanation.


9) The League was meaning to react (or, more accurately, opine) to The Beat's recent postings about the perception of women in comic books as well as the role of women working in the comics industry.

here

and here

I do want to get to this, because I do think it's an important topic and not much discussed. When it is discussed, the topic of women in comics is usually addressed on comic fan sites and message boards with all the maturity you would expect out of grown men who think they can never get too close to anyone, because if their enemies ever learned who they really were...

But rather than dwell for too long on social issues, The League turns to the schadenfreude you've come to love and respect.

Here, Heidi notices The Invisible Girl is wearing an invisible dress. This one's for Jason.


10) Ya'll entertain yourself while The League is away. Mayhaps Mrs. League will materialize and fill in for The League while he confers with other folks working in his exciting new field. (Apparently if I can get five of MY friends to sell these exciting products, and they can each get five of THEIR friends to sell these exciting products...)

This person really knows not only how to hold a grudge, but really committed to her fairly unimpressive plan.

Comic convention season is upon the comic geek community. Wizard World Philly is currently going on.

The cover art to Jim Lee and Frank Miller's "All-Star Batman and Robin" was released.



Looks like it's going to live up to the promise.

No major Superman news to speak of.

Some bits and pieces

1) The League may be undergoing some aesthetic changes. Our content won't change much, except in the usual, organic sort of way as The League's interests flit from place to place. I do predict a decent into critical analysis of adult film by 2009.

The first sign of the change is the banner I made in Photoshop. It's directly above. Check it out.

2) Nathan Cone is considering launching a blog of his own, but he needs a title.

Thus far we have:

Attack of the Cones
Send in the Cones
Mr. Blog!
Nathan's New Groove
Corn!

and... (from Nathan himself)

I like cold water.


You know, Nathan should be able to make just about anything work. He's an interesting guy, he's got an interesting career, his wife is really cool, and when he runs out of material, he's got a kid to discuss. So I totally think Nathan should jump on this blog thing. Vote for your favorite title, Leaguers, and convince Nathan this blogging thing is where it's at.


3) Not so long ago a high school chum of The League resurfaced after several years of absence. Scott Wiser is a part-time musician, part-time film maker, and full-time master of funk.

At my behest, Scott sent along several videos he's worked on. The only downside is that Scott's been pretty busy making videos over the past few years, and so there's a lot to watch. I've only made it part way through the tape he sent. So far I've gleaned that Scott's got a good eye and an interesting, if off-kilter, story telling style that serves him well. And he's not afraid to still insert absurd chase sequences, just as we did in our 1992 collaboration "The Spatulator". A damn fine piece of film, that was.

Anyway, Scott's in a band. Austin Leaguers should seek him out. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the band is called, so, Scott, pipe up and let me know.

4) Next week The League will be on hiatus. The League is going to fabulous Las Vegas for three glorious days of EduComm excitement. If you plan to be in the greater Las Vegas area during this time, The League will be spending his days at EduComm and his evenings alone in a hotel room at Circus Circus eating circus peanuts, drinking malt liquor from the gift shop and watching basic cable.

Mrs. League is not going to Vegas, which sounds like a wacky time for The League. But the League has been associated with Mrs. League for so long that he tends to go a little stir crazy when he doesn't have Mrs. League around to keep him in check.

Anyway, I'm going to try to get a lot of stuff posted for you guys to read next week while I'm out.


5) They closed Bento Bar today. I went there at least once a week every week since I began working here in Arizona. Some weeks I ate there every single day. It's the end of an era.

6) The League un-celebrated his third anniversary in Arizona on the 1st of June. It feels like the winds of change may blow soon. Nothing going on. It's just a gut feeling.

Congratulations to the San Antonio Spurs, 2005 Western Conference Champions!

Great game. Seriously. Fantastic game. Wish the series could have gone on longer so I could have seen another one like that, but, hey... a little rest for San Antonio before the Finals.

Ginobili, Duncan and Parker looked great, and I think the whole team is going to smoke Eastern Conference in the Finals.

The Suns had a fantastic season with the highest number of regular season wins and the highest average scores all season.

One wonder show many players will return to The Suns next season. I hope we get them all back. I think next season will be even better.



Honestly, becoming a Suns fan has made living in the Valley of the Sun a lot more tolerable. It's given me something to enjoy which is directly tied to my local area. And God knows, anything which can improve life in this miserable desert is welcome.

We're not huge baseball fans at The League, so we haven't really taken to the Diamondbacks. We don't understand golf, so we've missed out on the PGA fun which occurs here semi-regularly. And we'd LIKE to know more about the Arizona Cardinals, but since they black out all home games which haven't sold out, we miss half of the games every year.

I've been a Spurs and Rockets fan for years, so I didn't think I'd ever jump ship, and I still don't really think I have. But they show every single Suns game on local TV out here, and after a while, you learn to pull for the hometown squad.

The Suns played great this year, and I'm hoping to get tickets to a few more games next year. We like watching games on TV, but The League has a deep, deep love of shouting at opposing teams from really bad seats.

So here's to a great 2004-2005 season. Let's hope 2005-2006 winds up at least as well.

Nanostalgia.com reviews the ideal of pop music bringing the world together.

The League would like to buy the world a coke.

10 minutes of clips from Batman Begins.

Villains...

It's tough to be a superhero without them. Not impossible, but it makes it tough. And, hey... There are really piles and piles of villains out there. After all, Batman's been kicking it since 1939 and he doesn't fight the Joker in every issue.


Batman's villains get together every week for a supervillain potluck.

In regards to my posting about favorite heroes, brother dearest, The Amazing Steanso, said:

By the way, I think it's a lot more fun to come up with a list of favorite supervillains than heroes (being flawed, they're just more interesting people). Here are three of my all time favorites:

1. The Marauders (from the X-Men's Mutant Massacre)
2. Ras Al Guhl (I understand that he may appear in Batman Begins, but I promise that I'm not just being trendy)
3. Braniac (from Superman)

So some of you guys currently or once read comics. And some of you have seen a superhero type movie or two. or maybe you have a favorite villain who isn't part of the cape and mask set. Maybe it's even Erica Kane. The League does not care.

So... Who do you guys like?

And why? (After all, villains are despicable criminals, aren't they?)


Black Manta, Scarecrow and Luthor enjoy a good larf as an old lady trips while crossing the street. Man, these guys are evil.

Seriously, I'm curious. You tell me who makes you shiver, and I'll do a top 10 list of awesome supervillains or something. I guarantee, it'll put that Villains train wreck on Bravo Network to shame. So sayeth The League.

So, Congratulations to the Phoenix Suns. They won their first game in the series with the San Antonio Spurs for the Western Conference Championship. Sure they're three games down, but, it was one in the "W" column.

Part of me wishes they hadn't won, despite the fact that I've been following these guys all year long. The Eastern Conference is pretty good this year, and I would have liked to have seen San Antonio have a week to rest before the Finals began. Tim Duncan has been hurting a little bit, and a rest would do them good before facing off against either Detroit OR Miami.

But...

I didn't want to see The Suns get swept. They really are too good a team to just lose it in the Western Conference Championships, and they really were championship level this season. They've played hard, and they've been fun to watch, even when they don't win. Steve Nash took a lot of unnecessary hell for winning the MVP over Shaq this season, and if they'd been swept, I think he would have had a hard time ever shaking off the innuendo.

One quick criticism of the Spurs, which I am sure will draw the ire of mi hermano...

When did the Spurs start flopping every time an opposing player breathed in their direction? I never noticed them doing this a few years ago, but now everytime they get near somebody, they're flat on their back. Horry has really taken to this, but Ginobili and Parker pull their fare share of this maneuver as well.


Nash goes up while Ginobili flops like an Italian soccer player

I've watched enough play-off series to know that, barring an act of God, The Suns are not going to come back and win this series. But I'm glad they woke up long enough to put up a decent fight for at least one game.

Go, Suns!

So The League usually isn't one for beauty pageants, but there's not much else on and I'm trying to just mellow out before what is sure to be a goofy week fo work. And this evening the 2005 Miss Universe Pageant is on. And if you wanted a greater sign that American schools are failing us... I give you the following:

The program was hosted by TV-journalista extraordinaires Nancy O'Dell and Mr. Billy Bush of TV's ACCESS HOLLYWOOD!!!

When the final five were called out, Mr. Billy Bush first announced Miss Mexico. Next up was Ms. Puerto Rico. Ms. Dominican Republic was called third.

Upon calling up Ms. Puerto Rico, Billy Bush announced, "It's a South American dog fight in the final five!"

Then, calling down the fourth contestant, Billy Bush said, "Our first representative from North America, Miss Canada!"

The League writes:

Dear Mr. Billy Bush,

I may have gone to public school and attended a state university, but in those years, I did manage to stay awake long enough to learn a few items. Perhaps you were too busy cultivating your "talent", and could not make time for items such as maps and, say, knowing where shit is, as you studied the romantic history of Tom Cruise and what TV Heart-Throb David Hasselhoff thinks of going to the beach.

But as you are hosting the Miss Universe 2005 pageant, I thought this might come in handy:



On this map, you will see

1) The Dominican Republic
2) Puerto Rico
3) A sort of unpopulated blue patch between these places and South America.

I understand this map might not be very clear. The Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico are those tricky, smaller land masses called ISLANDS (this is why nobody could find Gilligan. He was on a small land mass surrounded by water).

So here's a picture of Mexico (it's that tiny place just South of California, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas with a shared border of well over 1000 miles).



The League has been known to have been wrong, so we've turned to the Central Intelligence Agency to tell us a little bit about Mexico, just to make sure I didn't tell you anything that was incorrect.

According to the CIA (as well as The Minutemen currently playing GI Joe a few hours south of my home), Mexico is, in fact, just south of the the United States. Some might say it even shares a continent with the United States.

Here is a picture of South America. You will notice that Mexico, The Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico do not make an appearance. Not even as an island.



So, Mr. Billy Bush... Next time you agree to go on TV in front of the entire planet, it helps to know where the hell the contestants on your program are from. Especially when you, yourself, are estimating that 1 BILLION people are going to watch the telecast.

Just a helpful tip from your pals at The League.

Mr. Billy Bush brought up the fact that Ms. Canada was representing North America at least one additional time during the telecast. I am proud to say that North America (REAL North America, not those losers from Mr. Billy Bush's SOUTH AMERICA) won the contest. It should also be pointed out that Billy Bush hosted the Miss Universe program from Ecuador in 2004.

And it should also be noted that Miss Universe 2004 was clearly NOT wearing a bra when she came out to hand off her crown to Miss Universe 2005.

It's a weekend at home with the kids!



Lucy sees a bug.



Lucy trots about.



Riiiiiiissse, Darth Botis.

Jamie gets Mel ready. He's off to see Star Wars Episode III for the eighth time this week.





The League and Mel take in some sun.

Something for the weekend, courtesy of Doug.

Somethingawful.com investigates comic book character fashion faux pas.

Click here to read.

Hey, kids.... hot tip from your ol' Uncle Ry.

We here at The League know that with the increase in wearable technology that social norms are changing on a month-by-month basis. When we see a person walking down the street talking to themself in a loud voice, seemingly to an invisible person, we no longer assume that the person is crazy. We give them the benefit of the doubt that mayhaps that person is merely on their tiny earpiece to their cell-phone and assume that the person in question is a total jack-ass who doesn't mind loudly sharing his conversations with everyone in a square-block.

BUT...

What is STILL not okay is to use the office-floor bathroom, enter a stall, do your business and simultaneously call your parents to wish them a happy anniversary.

1) You should really plan a more special time of day to call your folks to wish them a happy anniversary
2) I don't need to hear your conversation echoing around the bathroom when I am trying to focus
3) I don't need to participate in the symphony of sounds echoing around the bathroom and ending up on a phone hundreds of miles away when I go to flush

Leaguers... be careful how and when you decide to use your portable phones. The League was caught by surprise this time, but next time this gentleman decides the bathroom is a good place to make a call, we're adding a lot of sounds to our usual bathroom routine.

Some movies which don't take place on Earth or have Earth-people in them which were developed post-Star Wars.

Items like Lord of the Rings and Conan don't count as the material was originally conceived before 1977. Items like Flash Gordon or FarScape don't count as the main character is an earth-people. Movies liek DragonSlayer are suspect as they don't exactly say they DON'T take place on Earth. But submit them and the jury can hash them out.

Here's my very short list:

Dark Crystal
Krull

Come on. Anyone sending in submissions will get an official "Mellie Award".

Oy.

Bravo is running a series of three specials, each an hour long, "counting down" the top 20 super heroes, vixens and villains.

In order to make the show tie into movie stars and whatnot, they seem to have limited their selection to characters who have managed to appear in TV or movies.

They've also got three non-superheroes in their top 7 super heroes.

And Austin Powers is, for some reason, on the list.

Now, I'm not saying that you need a cape or a mask to be a super hero, but the selection seemed to ask that "the character is working for a good greater than him/ herself and have a costume." Which might include Rumsfeld during the Tech-vest days.

I'm going to go ahead and ruin it for all of you and say Superman doesn't win.

The show just has that same sort of vibe of "well, we want to do a show with lots of clips, but they really don't have that mnay different superhero movies, so... Okay. Austin Powers is a superhero, right?"

I don't know. I don't care that much.

But, because it's late, I didn't post yesterday, and I think bravo knows about as much about superheroes as McDonald's knows about healthy dining, I shall put it to you Loyal Leaguers.

Who are your three favorite superheroes? And, if you have time... why DO you have such a huge Aquaman collection?



Hawkman and Atom are easily distracted.

THEY'RE GRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!

RIP, Thurl Ravenscroft.

Mr. Ravenscroft was the voice of Tony the Tiger from the early 1950's, the voice behind the tune "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," and numerous other voices from TV, radio and elsewhere.

NPR ran a story last night on Mr. Ravenscroft's passing. Apparently he also was one of the voices singing on the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride at Disneyland.




You can learn more about Mr. Ravenscroft here.

Spurs win, Suns do not.

Hard fought game, and I think it's fair to say that the Spurs are as good as they've ever been in any incarnation. I'm finally learning to appreciate this Mohammad guy and Barry.

I do think Horry took a flop that resulted in Stoudemire's unwarranted foul, but Spurs were playing so well, they would have bagged this one, anyway.

Not much going on with us here at League HQ.

We realized recently that we'd fallen into a vicious circle in regards to raising Lucy to be a good little dog. We'd leave her outside all day while we were gone, letting her in only to eat and sleep. Then we'd go out and play with her, and try to do some training outside.

This meant that each time we let her into the house, she thought that it was time to eat. And if she didn't eat, she would just run in circles and tear the place up. This, of course, would get her booted back outside. We'd go outside again to play with her, but it was never for enough time.

Realizing we sort of had a wild dog living in our house, we've now been letting Lucy just tear the place up. It does help that she's older now and does seem to at least try to understand what's going on. She's got a long way to go, but I think with a bit of patience, in a few months time she'll be used to being inside for longer durations.

Will she ever quit chasing Jeff the Cat? Only time will tell.

Mel, on the other hand, both loves and is annoyed by Lucy. She tends to hop on him quite a bit, pull on his ears and just sit and bark at him from time to time. And sometimes he seems to really just want some quiet time away from her. Other times he looks positively amused with her. So, you know, it's a family.

Summer is on in Phoenix. We went from below average temperatures all spring to 110 in just a few weeks. I've heard Texas is already cooking, too. So good luck to all of ya'll. Keep an emergency case of Shiner nearby at all times.

I'm watching The Chronicles of RIddick out of the corner of my eye. It's not just Uncle George who likes to write silly space movies.

And what was once the DC Comics homepage has undergone a minor hop in what I think is probably the right direction. My guess is what you'll see there now is just a place holder for things to come.

It's now quite clear that the company is trying very hard to diversify it's audience, and step away from only being a company publishing comics in the world of Superman.

Last month, however, DC stepped away from what should have been a profitable venture into republishing European comics from Humanoids. I assume the partnership was dissolved due to low sales, but haven't heard anything definite. But if it WAS due to low sales, as always, The League has an opinion.

Too much of a good thing.

For years and years and years, Americans have heard how European comics are infintely superior to American comics in structure, writing and art. This is all subjective, but European comics do tend to be handled with an eye toward an adult audience. Unlike American comics where this usually means they've drawn naked ladies (which I assure you, they do in European comics), the content seems to require a greater sense of maturity than, say, Spawn.

I checked out the famous Metabarons series, Technopriests and a few others.

But here's the problem.

I actually LIKE the comics I'm reading already. They're fun. And I already spend probably an unreasoanable amount of money keeping my comic habit going. So when even something really nice looking comes out, I MIGHT check it out. BUT, keep in mind, now that comics are a direct sales item, they're pretty much printed to order.

Each month, as a loyal comic fan, I check a guide to see what I might want which is coming out in three months. I have to then tell my shopkeep what I'll want, and he places the order. So, essentially, I'm buying items without ever getting to hold them in my hand first.

Now, if I'm following a character, or writer, or artist I like, I can KNOW there's a good chance I'll like what I've ordered when it arrives. But my shop keep can't afford to way over order items he has no idea he can sell. So, consequently, my shopkeep might not order any of the Humanoids comics at all if nobody in the shop has been talking about them.

And knowing the crowd in my shop, believe me, they aren't talking about European comics. It's Wolverine or nothing.

So what does DC do?

They flood the market with these things.

They start releasing five or six of these things a month. That's over a hundred bucks a month in material they're suggesting I pick up on top of what I'm already picking up. Now, I'd probably only pick up maybe one or two a month, maybe. But that still adds up over a while.

So if it appears that these comics are only selling a few at a time, well, DC is going to think that nobody wants to even check the comics out. Which isn't and wasn't true.

I would have loved to have always had the option to pick up one or two of these books each month. But I was never going to buy all of them at once, and if they're printing to order... when, exactly, am I going to be able to pick them up?

Anyway, so long DC/ Humanoids relationship. I thought Metabarons was okay.

Yeah, who hired these assholes anyway?

TOYS THAT SHOULD NOT BE

This is a little tangential, but follow me here...

Here's a knock-off Darth Vader Doll known as "Galaxy Cop".

In order to bring greater value to Galaxy Cop, the makers have provided a real head under the helmet.

And this is not intentional, and maybe it's my own Rorschach test, but I think it looks suspiciously like Bill Frist. He just looks so HAPPY under that helmet.

Today, Jason said:

I think that the biggest question to come out of the whole Star Wars phenomenon is why can't there be more movies that truly engage the imagination of the audience and still pull off an interesting storyline with characters that we appreciate and care about? The crappy thing is how few movies there have been SINCE Star Wars that have managed to deliver a sensation of unfettered imagination and fantasy without immediately seeming silly. Star Wars reminded us that sci-fi and fantasy need not just be stories for children- they can also be the stuff of modern mythology.

Is Jason just smoking crack, or does Jason have something here?

This evening's post is meant to challenge you, the reader, to mention and debate Jason's point.

Is Star Wars the only film or film series to have created a viable reality outside of our own?

I'll go ahead and short circuit The Matrix film series and try to point out what I think Jason means. The Matrix is supposed to take place after Skynet finally defeats humanity. On Earth. At some point. But it doesn't provide us with an entirely new world. In fact, it REQUIRES our world as a reference point when the heroes enter The Matrix and do Kung-Fu and whatnot.

Okay, Leaguers... debate.


Chewbacca's Day at Glamour Shots

THE FAMILY SHAW WELCOMES LITTLE QUICKDRAW McSHAW INTO THE FOLD

As noted last week Jennifer D. and Reed T. Shaw have been visited by Senor Stork and Meredith Cynthia is now an honorary member of Mono-Music.


Reed, Jen and QuickDraw have a bonding moment.


QuickDraw gives a wry smile. She has Daddy's keys, and tonight, she RIDES!!!!


QuickDraw cackles in delight, imagining her future life as a tiny bandita in the deserts of Old Mexico!


Tired out from a day of imaginary ransacking, QuickDraw takes a siesta with Jen. Jen looks forward to getting back to her life of actual ransacking.

Yes. Oh, yes.

The League Faces the End of the Star Wars Saga

My earliest memories are of abject terror.

1) Stepping on a bee outside our apartment and getting stung on teh sole of my foot.
2) Realizing that going headfirst down our apartment stairwell was not a grand idea
3) Wanting to crawl under my seat and die when the Tuskan Raider popped up over the ledge and shook his gaffi stick at Luke.

As a wee child of two or so, The Admiral (then just the Lieutenant-Commander) took my brother and myself to see Star Wars. He'd already seen it with my mom and some friends. On a lazy Saturday he took my brother and myself to go see what, for him, was a WWII fighter pilot movie in space.

In our house in Canton, MI, I can recall assembling Jason's Death Star toy and opening the bridge so I could swing Luke and Leia across, blissfully ignorant that the scene was stolen from a Ray Harryhausen creature-feature.

My mother saw to it that, though we didn't have a boatload of money, her kids had some cool Star Wars toys, Star Wars bedspreads and Star Wars wallpaper.

We saw Empire Strikes Back in Dallas, and my mind fizzled as AT-ATs walked across a barren snowscape. I was terrified of the Wampa, and a little disgusted at Han for sticking his friend in the corpse of a TanTan. Yoda spooked me a little bit, and like everyone else, I was amazed at what really lay behind the silly facade. And Vader, that bastard, could NOT be Luke's father. He was a liar.

Hours were lost after school trying to decide what it would mean if Vader WAS Luke's father. Hours were lost discussing the tactical advatange of having your gunner facing backward in your Snowspeeder. Even more time was lost trying to figure out what would become of smuggler who was put on ice for the amusement of an interstellar gangster we'd only heard whispers about.

Jedi was released, and we all went nuts. The creatures were even crazier in this outing. The Empire was seemingly defeated. Ewoks had saved the day. Vader was dead, but he had reconciled with his son, and somehow that made it okay.

Two things in particular stuck out to me upon my first viewing. 1) I liked this Admiral Ackbar guy. I liked his style. 2) Princess Leia in a metal bikini. Sure, I was in maybe third grade, but for some reason it seemed like a good idea.

All was resolved with Jedi. No more stories to tell.

I went to bed under Star Wars comforters for another year or two. My floor was covered in Star Wars action figures and assorted toys for about the same duration.

We all know that reaction to Episode I and II was, shall we say, mixed. But even then, my jaw hung as each new ship crossed the screen, as each new alien wandered from screen right to left. As each new world unveiled itself, alive and well, and not possibly just something plucked from some human imagination.

And, today Jamie and I caught the 5:05 showing of Revenge of the Sith.

Even before leaving, I felt as if I was jumping in the car to head off for a wedding.
"How do you figure?" Jamie asked as I noted the odd sense of uneasy anticipation I had in my gut.
"I don't know. It's like, when we come back, something is going to have ended or changed forever."
And I was right. It's over now. No more Star Wars movies from Uncle George. Not that I know of, anyway.
A lot of folks are going to draw a wry smile and say, "Good. These three sucked." And I'm not going to dispute that. The quality of the movies is almost neither here nor there. The point is, it's over.

Sure, Uncle George has stated that he'll allow some TV shows to be produced, or maybe some cartoons or something. But the feature films are over with. Everything now will be others riding on George's coattails, making a buck and, at best, hoping to catch some of the fire that he brought to our imaginations a lifetime ago.

They run these silly documentaries on basic cable on Star Wars almost non-stop. In each of them, it strikes me as odd to hear someone say, "Well, I thought Chewbacca was a crazy idea. A seven foot ape who doesn't talk?"

I grew up with Chewbacca. He's as familiar as peanut butter. He's like a friend from summer camp you haven't seen in years, but you feel like you can still speak knowledgably about him. He wears a bandolier and carries a bow-caster. He's an exceptional mechanic and pilot and doesn't care much for droids.

And all my life I grew up knowing what a Jedi was, and knowing that making the Kessel Run in under 9 Parsecs is really, really good time. And that Droids aren't allowed in bars. And that The Force will be with you. Always.

I can't imagine not having Star Wars in my life, no matter how much I bitch and complain. And I'll always be greatful to Uncle George for giving me a world to grow up in when I was too tired and bored of my own tiny little world.

It's over now, and whether or not I loved the new movie, it doesn't really matter. We all knew where this was headed, and part of me is glad to know that Uncle George wants to leave us standing on our heads so badly, we're going to all have to reach back into ourselves some 20-odd years and remember that it did all wind up okay. And what an odd way to end it all, on a dark and bitter note with the knowledge in hand that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

So long, Star Wars.

The Force Will Be With You.

Always.

I just want to be clear, before the game ends...

I don't care who wins the Western Conference. These are my two favorite teams. This is better than the Finals for The League.

SUNS WIN!!!!

SUNS WIN!!!!

SUNS WIN!!!!

The League Presents:

Why I Hate the News
or
Is it the public that's made up of mouth-breathers in search of instant gratifcation, or have editorial standards really dipped this low?

Front page of CNN as of 2:20pm PT.



I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

I thought we had two wars on, Iran threatening nukes again, N. Korea ducking nuke talks once more, and several humanitarian crisis lurking in Sub-Saharan Africa. It DOES appear somebody got a picture of Saddam in his undies (titter!). Not to mention our own legislative system in turmoil, senators threatening judges, and 2000 pages of testimony on hand of prisoner abuse at quasi-legal military prisons.

Note to self: When you are finally overthrown by the liberty-loving peoples of Greenland and Patagonia, make sure you kill yourself by self-immolation so nobody can take photos of you while you're in your undies.

Thank Christ CNN is STILL concerned with how many people are going to the theater. And that Topher Grace is going to be in Spider-Man 3. In two years. And they haven't even announced the role yet.

You know, I LIKE Star Wars. I own a Darth Vader helmet and a toy of Sebulba's podracer, but even I know that none of that shit is news. It's just not.

Nobody is going to quit making movies, and people aren't going to quit watching them. Just because we're all too dumb to understand the jacked up shit in our world doesn't mean the press needs to pander to that nonsense.

We deserve whatever the f@#k we get.

F@#k it.

Alas, The League has still not made it to see the new Star Wars flick, Revenge of the Sith. We've been watching some of the "Science of Star Wars" programming on Discovery Channel, but it's not really the same, and every once in a while, they interject in a scene containing Jake Lloyd, and next thing I know Jamie's holding me down and has a spoon jammed in my mouth.

Work has gotten in the way of my usual midnight showings on premier night. Hopefully I'll get to go see it this weekend at matinee prices.

Jim has already seen the film, and he loved it. His only complaint? Not enough Jar-Jar. "Where is my precious Jar-Jar?" he complained, just sobbing like a baby. It was hard to make out EXACTLY what he said as his voice was muffled by a lifesize latex Jar-Jar mask.

I had recorded Smallville last night, and while The League is a fan of all things Superman, we're beginning to believe that Smallville is no longer actually Superman at all and just some TV show.

The good news is that after the show concluded, WB showed a ten minute segment with clips from the new film "Batman Begins".

The movie looks like it's going to be pretty darn good. It's an origin story (thus the "Begins" bit), and looks like a much better first look at Batman than the Tim Burton flicks. I think you kids will like it.

Anyhow, sorry my posts have been sort of spotty of late. Busy busy.

Look. I don't like Kelsey Grammer.

I sort of watched Cheers in the 80's and 90's. I watched enough episodes of Frasier with my Cheers adoring roommate in college to know that I was probably only ever going to watch the show under duress and in hospital waiting rooms.

I just never felt as if... I dunno... There's something about Kelsey Grammer that seems more like a dumb guy with a good baritone ACTING like a smart guy, that really sort of cheeses me off.

But, you know, none of it usually effects my day.

Now, the geniuses at Marvel who brought us recent hits such as Elektra and Man-Thing, and who hired the director of "Taxi" to direct Fantastic Four... bring you Kelsey Grammer as the X-Men's resident egg-head Hank McCoy.

Bear in mind, Grammer is 50 years old, and not exatly in Schwarzeneggerian condition. Also, bear in mind that the Beast's only real power is to leap about and hang from chandeliers by his toes and whatnot. Given his acrobatic turn at the recent DisneyLand 50th Birthday celebration, I am, at best, suspicious, of this casting decision. In short, I am praying for a completely CGI Hank McCoy.

Which begs the question.... Ah, screw it.

With Singer gone to direct Superman Returns, the director being brought in has complained that Singer's plots were too simplistic, and that he plans to jazz it up. My personal guess is that the guys making decisions on this movie are totally freaked out with Bryan Singer gone. To compensate, they're madly scrambling to put together a movie which at least looks like it should be a success on paper.

Successful television actor... check! Director who plans to shake up the "Status Quo"... check! Diva actress (Berry) demanding a more important part for her tangential character... check! Possibility that Cyclops actor will be passed over for being in new Superman movie... check!

The League is sorry to announce the passing of actor Frank Gorshin.

Gorshin played the Riddler in the Adam West-starring Batman TV series.

Gorshin's Riddler was a manic, frantic portrayal befitting the series, and wound up dictating the portrayal of the Riddler in the comics for years to come. Jim Carrey's Riddler never really matched Gorshin's performance for The League, and we'd liek to think if Supervillains roamed the earth, they'd be a lot like Frank.

I last saw him in the TV movie "Back to the Batcave" in which he played himself, having gone mad and believing he was the Riddler.

Of all the villains who were not Julie Newmar in a Catwoman suit, Gorshin is still my favorite from the movie and TV series.

Godspeed, Frank.

A LOYAL LEAGUER BECOMES A FATHER

It sounds as if Loyal Leaguer Reed T. Shaw has become a father.

Meredith Cynthia Shaw was born at 5:30pm on the 16th of May to Reed and Jen Shaw.

It is predicted the child will know more about the Minnesota Vikings and Texas A&M Football before her third birthday than most people will know in a lifetime. Jen will surely interject some Longhorn lore into the child, as well as ruin the child for all other cooking. I am sure even Jen's mashed beets will surpass the average mashed beets.

I spoke with Jen on Sunday and she was saying the baby was due midweek or later. The early arrival proves nothing less than that the baby carries more of Jen's genes than those of Reed-o (that would be an inside joke, Leaguers).

Congratulations to the Family Shaw! And welcome Meredith Cynthia. And just ignore Daddy. He always gets like that when the Vikings lose.

Rusty writes:

Hi Melbotis this is Rusty Steans

Im a Bedlington Terrier and live across the pond in South Yorkshire England my hobbies include chasing rabbits, tennis balls and lady terriers

This is my dads bands Web Site: http://rock-it3.tripod.com/

Here is Rusty:



Dear Rusty,

Mel is so happy to hear from other doggy. Too often, Mel hear from nobody all day but stupid baby dog. Stupid baby dog say, "Hello! Hello! Hello! Me too! Me too! Me too!" That all she say all day.

Sometime Melbotis despair.

So Melbotis VERY happy to hear from Rusty.

But Mel must ask: Where does Rusty keep his eyes? Mel sees no eyeballs.

I ask Chubby-Couch-Man what pond is.

"What?"
"Pond."
"It's like a sort of standing body of water. Usually associated with pussywillows and lily-pads and... Wait, we live in Arizona. Why the hell do you care what a pond is?"
"Rusty live across pond."
"He lives in the UK. It's a sort of group of islands off the coast of France. They have kings and stuff. Occasionally they dominate the world."
"So what is Pond?"
"Uhmm... I dunno. It's a way to make fun of the Atlantic ocean and display friendship between the US and UK. We're just separated by a pond, not an ocean, see?"
"Is England an archipelago?"
"You know what, buddy. We're Americans. We don't need to really know a darn thing about geography. It's just not in us."
"I see."

So Mel not entirely certain what England is, but he happy to have friend like Rusty who lives on same island as Harry Potter.

Melbotis have pal, Steanso, who in band in Austin, Texas. You may try to understand what Mono Ensemble up to, because Mel not understand.

Mel more of a fan of Al Green and this record.

Anyway, Mel so happy to hear about Rusty and Trev. Hello! Hello!

So, thus far, not only has The League not made one cent by placing ads, The League noticed that the three click-thru's he placed himself came to nothing.

So, The League is looking at a bleak future of having to do this for free.

C'mon, you jerks! Buy something! Support The League's Sponsors.


I was thinking the other day...

Where the hell are Loyal Leaguers Nathan and Jill? Nathan has gone mostly AWOL since the appearance of his child, and Jill disappeared from my Inbox just after announcing her move to Kalamazoo.

No, really. There's a place in Michigan called Kalamazoo. It is where the Hermann-Wilmarths go to nest every summer.


I am going to try to read the following actual books this summer (before I return to school and cannot make time to read fun things).

1. Theodore Rex
2. Eisner/ Miller

I'm wanting to read a good political biography or other book regaling me with some historical interest. But it's been a while since I was a history major, and I really don't know where to start.

Anybody know any good historical non-fiction?

Entertainment Weekly, CNN.com (sorry, the story is gone now. No link available) and others have all been jumping on the low box office receipts for this year.

Lots of had-wringing reports have come out recently stating that box office has dropped off to such a degree that movie going will most certainly end and we'll all end up watching movies on pay-per-view.

But check out the Top Ten.

Kingdom of Heaven20th Century Fox
House of WaxWarner Bros.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the GalaxyTouchstone
CrashLions Gate
The InterpreterUniversal
XXX: State of the UnionColumbia
The Amityville HorrorMGM
SaharaParamount
A Lot Like LoveTouchstone
Fever Pitch20th Century Fox


Of the top ten movies:

2 were remakes of Horror Classics with a B-level cast (the original House of Wax scared me to death when I was 13, and Amityville... Amityville was debunked years ago, and the story really isn't THAT compelling. Not to mention the glut of haunted house movies from the past six years or so) In a seeming effort to drive away a good chunk of the audience, one movie has even inserted Paris Hilton.

1 was a remake of XXX. Without the titular actor returning. Nor any sign of the rocket-propelled, nuclear-powered submarine.

1 was a period piece about a period which most Americans, I am guessing, know about mostly from having seen Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Hitchhiker's is an adaptation if nichey, culty book, which may have produced a nichey, culty movie audience.

2 romantic comedies (because the earth will quit spinning if we don't have two romantic comedies at the cineplex at all times) . One stars Jimmy Fallon. The other stars Ashton Kutcher, who everyone over the age of 19 (Ms. Moore excepted) kind of hates. *

Crash, which looks kind of preachy

And Sahara which looks like... well, sort of like "The Jewel of the Nile". Except with all the star power of Penelope Cruz. Because, we are all told, we all love Penelope Cruz.

and The Interpreter, which looks like those thrillers from the eighties which take themselves very seriously and usually involve people talking in hushed tones and looking at photos and whatnot. But you can be sure, everyone will be very, very grave.

It's not that anything in the top 10 even looks all that bad, it's that none of it really looks all that good. Even Kingdom of Heaven looks like a movie you're asking me to make an investment in before sitting down. I mean, I see a horse and a suit of armor, and I figure, with trailers, the fastest I'm getting out of the theater in 3 hours, 10 minues. That's a sizeable chunk of my weekend. It better be pretty darn good. And yet it stars Orlando Bloom.

Mostly, everything just sort of looks like something I've seen before. And I've got cable if I want to see things I've already seen before.

That, and Hollywood has decided it's already Summer Movie Season, and if they decide, it must be, right?

1. It was snowing last week in Michigan. I know this because my consultant from Ann Arbor told me this. It may be 72 and breezy in LALA Land, but the rest of the country is still trying to decide how many layers to wear.

2. Kids aren't out of school and college kids are in finals. This is your audience. If you really want to get kids to skip studying in order to go to the movies, you better have some serious explosions up your sleeve. I mean, you'd best be offering up the "choose between the red pill and the blue pill"-type explosions.

And I don't know if it's just me slowly going crazier (this is what Steanso blames), but if I have an option between paying $8.00 to half hear my movie and half hear somebody else's conversation, or, if I can just watch a movie on my 27" TV, stop and start it at will, and not worry about some kid kicking my seat... well, The League knows what the League is going to do.

Honestly, we now pick movies, movie times and venues pretty well. We've gotten it all down to a bit of a science. Aside from the kids under 10 running about during The Aviator, we've done pretty well lately.

But for the most part, there's just not much I want to see. Or at least, for $8.00 a ticket, plus $3.50 for a coke, and $2.50 for a box of Hot Tamales, I mean... do I really want to do all that in order to see Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore? Isn't there something on Discovery?

Not every movie is going to be gold. In fact, I usually think 1 in 5 being something of interest ain't bad. But I hate the whining. Why isn't anyone going to the movies? Because the movies look really uninteresting.

And it's tough to take anyone seriously who complains that Star Wars' $300+ million take won't meet expectations... but, who is setting these expectations? And how are they setting them? Last I checked, $300 million is the GDP of some smaller countries.

The League loves movies. Really. We do. We try not to be film snobs (and certainly do not feel that we've got the pedigree to be a film snob). And we try to enjoy movies for both escapism and for the commentary they can deliver in teh right hands.

But we don't like articles written chastising the general populace for not going to the movies while refusing to suggest that, maybe... just maybe... the product the studios are offering us just doesn't look like it should cost us $30 after candy and soda are accounted for.


*The League hereby declares Our services open to the Hollywood elite. But, especially, to casting directors.

The League would make ourselves available 24 hours a day to all casting directors. For a nominal fee, you could call me up, tell me :

1. the story of the movie in some broadstrokes
2. a bit about the character
3. your intended audience
4. how much money you really want to make, gross
5. which well-known actor you're considering for the part

The League will then tell you:

1. if the League perceives the well-known actor to be a complete jack-ass
2. whether or not the coveted 18-34 year old male audience will see the movie
3. if he'd pay matinee or full price
4. and why he really, really hates the actor you just called to ask him about

We think we'd find this service to be not only a step toward the betterment of mankind, but, also, we'd find it personally gratifying.

Some additions to The Royal Roster of Loyal Leaguers

We've added a few items to the blogroll recently. Check out Return to Comics and Dave's Long Box. Both have linked to The League, although The League does not know these people. We assume they are nice folks.

On a less comics-oriented front, God of Biscuits linked to The League, so we're returning the favor. We don't know God of Biscuits, but we assume he is the deity who gave King Biscuit his Flower Power.

And, of course, Michael Scaljon, whom I have not figured how he knows Jim.

****UPDATE****

Jim sent me two more folks who have linked to the League.

Pleadings star Heather Durham has linked to the League

as well as this person, known for their Profundities.

The League Totally $@%*ing Sells Out!

So, recently RHPT.com added advertising to RHPT.com. It's his personal blog and, like The League, the blog is Randy's personal gift to humanity.

Randy was attacked in his comments section, and responded here.

The biggest accusation? RHPT.com had lost his indie street cred (which, with $2.50 will get you a cup of coffee), and had TOTALLY $@%*ing sold out. To, I assume, The Man.


For your files, an image of The Man (aka: The Admiral)

The League loves doing anything with will make Jim D. sigh with resignation, and so has applied to join Google AdSense himself.

What, indeed, IS the earning potential of The League of Melbotis? Thus far The League has received goods and services from Loyal Leaguers, and hopes to receive more free stuff in the future. However, The League is morbidly curious to see, exactly, what can come of this.

So, The League decided to see what can happen with the profit-making potential of the internet (thanks, Al Gore!). Especially when you select the biggest ad type which won't totally jack-up your formatting?


The League turns to his usual financial advisor for advice on whether or not this will work.

I do plan to fill in Loyal Leaguers as to the processes and windfalls of my advertising here.

1. I applied to AdSense
2. They e-mailed me back a day later to say "welcome" and provide instructions.
3. The directions are relatively simple to get this thing up and online.
4. I have no idea how I'm actually going to get paid for this, or even what the math is on click-throughs.
5. It doesn't really matter. It's all in good fun.

I have noticed that Google has already done a crawl here at The League. We're now schilling Superman costumes and Justice League outfits.

I've also gone aheaded and added a web-search, courtesy of Our Dread Lord, Google. Have fun with that.

It's capitalism, ahoy! here at the S.S. Melbotis!

Okay, I just spent an hour watching a documentary on Oliver, the Humanzee.

I invite for you to read up on Oliver.

Here.

Here.

Here.

Apparently he lives here, near San Antonio.

As unnerving as Oliver may be, it was just as unnerving to learn that scientists sort of think it might not be too hard to mix and match human and chimpanzee DNA and make a Humanzee.

I can only assume my sense of dread from the other day foretold the loss by Suns from last night. Otherwise, I have no idea.

DC's president and publisher, Paul Levitz, has posted an open letter to DC fans regarding the logo change at the company.

As much as something seems afoot in the actual comics DC publishes, a few rumors have popped up of a DC Comics which will be asked to play ball with the parent omnicorp of Time-Warner. Previously, DC had kept a low profile within the corporation and acted more or less independently, pointing to licensing of the big three in order to justify their existence.

It's not so much that Time-Warner appears to feel DC needs to put up or get closed down, as much as they look at Marvel setting up their own movie studio, a billion dollars in receipts for Spider-Man, and other successes Marvel has managed to leverage. In short, they're looking to further merchandise DC properties and try to manage it in house so travesties like last year's Catwoman do not reoccur.

Personally, I think properties like Green Lantern (Corps), The Flash, Green Arrow and Black Canary might all be viable commodities. Second and third tier characters from DC would be at least as viable as Marvel's. And, heck... Marvel can't seem to sell Blade comic books, but the movies make tens of millions. Could DC make a succesful Question movie? What about Enemy Ace? Or Mr. Terrific?

The concern is this: As DC angles to drop "Comics" from their name, and, instead, become just DC (as is DC toys, DC movies, DC t-shirts)... What are those in power from above Levitz going to do to the comic line? It's never been hugely profitable, and with fewer and fewer comic readers existing in the world, what will happen? Will Time-Warner use it's distribution channels to increase circulation? Will the suits step in and hack and slash titles? Force format change? And, most important... how likely is it that somebody at Time-Warner above Levitz will begin to dictate what content is appropriate for a wider audience? Especially when lunch boxes and action figures get involved in the mix?

It's a waiting game at this point. But I've got faith in DC.

BTW, I like this picture DC has on the website, with Superman and Batman sort of endorsing the logo by association. The picture looks a bit like Superman and Batman are behaving as they might normally when confronted with something new. Batman looks suspicious, ready to kick somebody in the sternum. Superman looks enthusiastic, ready to check out this new thing, confident that if he tries hard enough, it's all going to work out.

Speaking of Superman, Bryan Singer has been publishing video diaries of his work on the currently filming Superman Returns. You can check them out over at Bluetights.net.

The latest video, as of this writing, is video 11. I deeply recommend you check it out. This video shows a first glimpse of the new Daily Planet offices.

Each item which I see regarding this movie makes me believe this movie is going to be the sort of Superman film I want to see.

I've picked up a copy of Sarah Vowell's "The Partly Cloudy Patriot." It's going to be a quick read. Some highly distracted reading tonight got me through about 60 pages. Vowell's writing is conversational, quick and breezy.

It's part-memoir, part navel-gazing, part who knows? Here's what I am really enjoying: a lot of younger writers riff on the morass of pop culture in our lifestyle. Movie, TV, music references. Touchstones which are going to mean something to your Gen-X/ Gen-Y reader more than allusions to House of the Seven Gables.

While Vowell does bring these things up, she's got a lengthier worldview. For the most part, she sticks to what she knows, and this is book of history as pop culture. Where others might dwell upon reruns of Gilligan's Island, Vowell visits Gettysburg and reflects upon Abraham Lincoln's likely penchant for procrastination if he is anything like her fellow writers. But the book doesn't devolve with Vowell swimming in detail. The book uses the knowing shared nod so familiar to Gen X writing, but refers to Thomas Jefferson the way others might point to Mick Jagger.

I won't draw any conclusions yet. I'm on page 61 for God's sake. But I am enjoying the book.

Work is going to pick up drastically this coming week. You may see slightly less of The League. Maybe Mrs. League will pick up the slack?

BTW, Duncan sort of lost that game. One or two better shots earlier on, or even that last shot, and the Spurs could have locked it up. Pretty poor showing for my two remaining teams.

The League Presents:
Suggestions for Further Reading (special edition)







For the previous SFFR, go here.

Well, this evening saw a suprise (to The League, anyway) defeat handed to the Phoenix Suns by the wily Dallas Mavericks.

The Suns came out of the gate showing none of the qualities which have made them an exceptional team throughout the regular season. They certainly picked up steam in the 3rd quarter, and even occasionally took the lead in scoring, but Dallas simply outperformed them.

I missed large chunks of the first half while watching Smallville. Smallville has jumped the shark, and I won't be returning next season. This evening's episode was the single worst episode of any TV show, ever. One more episode and I'm out. It didn't even begin to make any sense.

Honestly, I put a lot of the responsibility for the Dallas victory not on any one player, but believe the laurels should be bestowed upon head coach, Avery Johnson. Avery put a real fire under the Mavs tonight, just as he once was able to do with the Spurs while on the court.

It's tough to say what the loss of Joe Johnson in the second half did to the Suns' overall performance. It seemed to both spur the Suns on, but the lack of Johnson's solid playing may have been the 3 point difference Phoenix needed to win.

I haven't checked the stats, but I think Phoenix's shooting percentage wasn't all that hot.

Ah, well. Off to Dallas for a few games.

Shut up, Marc Cuban.

***update***

It sounds like Joe will be out for a while. I heard on the radio he needs surgery to fix a broken bone near his EYE. Sumuvabitch. Ouch.

The League is unsure of why, but The League has been feeling a general unease of late. It's that sort of "why are the animals all jittery? Oh, look! The volcano is smoking..." jitteriness which seems to be telling me something is currently, or is about to be, horribly, horribly wrong.

No idea what is up, but I can feel it, like a sort of tangible vibe in the air.

Perhaps I am listening to too much Marketplace, perhaps my underwear isn't fitting properly, perhaps it's because nothing in particular is actually going totally wrong at the moment.

Don't get me wrong. The League does not enjoy drama. The League avoids drama at every turn. The League also has never really perceived within himself a sort of Spidey-Sense to pick out trouble before it happens. But every once in a while, The League begins to suspect that maybe things are just a wee bit too quiet, and that can only mean we're in a lull before things get goofy, as things inevitably must do.

Shall it be a work or career problem? Shall it be terrible financial difficulty? Will it be something of a sort of cosmic scale which affects not just The League, but, indeed, the whole planet?

The great thing about walking around with an impending sense of doom, as I am currently doing, is that when something finally does go cataclysmically wrong, The League will say, "Hey, who called the national emergency? THE LEAGUE DID, BABY!"

Anyhow, I guess we'll see.

Suggestions for Further Reading: Some Quick SFFR

Hope you guys went to FCBD. Sounds like Shoemaker took advantage.

Just wanted to surface to point out some recent comics which have been released but which you might have missed.

1) Ex Machina: The First Hundred Days

Fantastic art by Tony Harris complements great writing by the increasingly popular Brian K. Vaughn.
This takes place in a world similar to our own. Things diverge in 1999 when a civil engineer is exposed to a a glowing green device. The story begins as Mitchell Hundred has hung up his jet-pack and is now serving his first term as mayor of NYC. Sound a little sappy? It isn't. Works as both a political-fiction tale (think West Wing) and post-modern Superhero story (think Watchmen).

This collection includes the first five issues of the critically acclaimed series.

Don't believe The League? Michael Chabon recently tapped Brian K. Vaughn to write comics based on the titular comics of his Pultizer Prize winning The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.


2. We3

This collection of the 3-issue limited series by the incomparable team of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely is being released June 1.

The story told in this comic is deceptively simple. Three house pets turned into military weapons are broken free when administrators decide to terminate the beta-phase of the project. Sometimes the simple stories are the best.

This story is a heartbreaker and will make you want to love your pets forever and ever.


3. Superman: Unconventional Warfare/ Superman: That Healing Touch

Collecting Greg Rucka's current run on The Adventures of Superman, these two books collect the story thus far. Superior art and a gradually unfolding mystery make this series the best of the Superman books from last year. Fortunately, Rucka has decided to stay with Superman for the foreseeable future.

Introducing a new villain, a new take on an old favorite villain, a few additions to the cast of supporting characters, and more Mxyzptlk than you can shake a stick at, this has been an amazing run.


4. Space Ghost

No, seriously. Space Ghost.

I loved the cartoons as a kid. In some ways, Space Ghost Coast to Coast was a defining element of my college experience.

But, you know, Space Ghost never had jack for an origin, and he never really seemed to be much more than a 70's era Batman in space (with power blasters!). Later, he seemed more like The Admiral with a mask and a mantis piano player.

Joe Kelly pens and Ariel Olivetti provides phenomenal artwork, Alex Ross provides covers. Kelly and Olivetti do their best to make this seem like a lost Humanoids of Heavy Metal project while still incorporating Zorak, Jann and Jayce.

I know! Crazy, huh?

This should be out as a trade in early July.


5. All Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder

Coming in July, Frank Miller and Jim Lee present an all new series of Batman comics intended for both the hardcore comic geeks and for folks who barely know Batman from Captain Carrot.

This won't be collected as a trade for some time, and I haven't seen so much as a preview page yet, but I'm putting down my lawn-mowing money in order to get my copy of this one. We think you should, too.


Suggestions for Further Reading: Countdown to Infinite Crisis

Is it just me, or does Nowitzki always cry like a 5 year old? He always has this expression of pained disbelief on his face as if he might start stomping his foot.

What a baby.

So, The League's brother in law was here over the weekend. In a short 72 hour period, Doug managed to remind The League that The League is no kind of man. The League is some sort of man-baby thing.

Only a few hours after getting here we were picking up a rented bike. Why? Because Doug got up at 6:00am on Sunday and rode his rented bike 65 miles around Phoenix. He went places I've routinely thought were too far to bother to drive during the course of a weekend.

Anyway, having Doug here was a nice change of pace. It was also leaps and bounds over the usual visit from Steanso, The League's far less active and far more disappointing actual brother.

All in all, a super-fabulous weekend.

I am very tired.

It looks like the Suns have the wrapped up. I should just go to bed.

Here is a picture of Lucy. Doug took the picture. It is a fairly good representation of what I live with every day.

they've given them legs
dear God, they've given them legs.



Thanks to Dave's Long Box for locating this one.

DC Comics is changing the old bullet logo


to a sort of swooshy star-thingy.

I think this new logo is timely and will really appeal to folks still living in 1992.

This new logo is really great, especially with the baby-blue coloring which will really do a lot to enhance comic book covers trying madly to fit this obtrusive thing into the cover scheme.

The idea is, I guess, to have the DC logo actually appear with DC Comics product. Like, if Beenie Weenie licenses Aquaman to sell Beenie-Weenie, you will see this new logo somewhere on the Beenie-Weenie label. But it should also appear on cartoons, TV programs and movies with DC properties in them. Ina ddition, all those Batman toys and Justice League action figures will also have the new DC bullet printed on the packaging.

I understand the need to place the DC logo all over everything, and I applaud the idea and effort. I'm not sure why they felt the old bullet wouldn't do (which was a great, simplistic design, that fit just about anywhere on a cover and worked in almost any color), but that's the new logo, Leaguers. This new logo makes it appear that the designer never read a DC comic in his/her life. At least not since Brainiac was floating around in a skull-shaped space ship and was referring to himself in 3rd person and shaking his fist menacingly to an empty room while he monologued. (Good times... Good times...)

Go here to see how DC is trying to cram the logo on to the cover, and how someone in marketing is making them print "collector's item" right on the cover. (Really? A collector's item? Well, that's funny, because I'm fairly certain nobody knows who the hell Donna Troy is but collector's anyway, so I guess you're right. It IS a collector's item.)

It's 1992 all over again.

You know, I wouldn't mind ANY of this, if they would quit futzing with verbage on the covers and put the comics back in spinner racks at 7-11 and B. Dalton.

So... Rockets didn't do so well.

I was out and missed the game. Not sure I missed too much.

MVP! MVP! MVP! MVP!
STEVE NASH WINS MVP!

Apparently our chant at the Round 1, Game 1 of the play-offs swayed the voting judges.

Rockets win! And how!

Mayhaps they shall win again. At any rate, the Mavs/ Rockets series has been great.

Randy posted today with a surprise challenge to The League.

Go read it here or else the rest of this post won't make much sense.

First of all, I haven't really gotten involved in this whole Podcasting brouhaha. I am not entirely clear on what it's all about, but people seem to enjoy it. The League has never been an early adopter of technologies, and also finds it difficult to do requests.

I think what Randy is looking for is an episodic bit of The League existing in some sphere outside of that of the blog. Here's the problem as I see it:

1) The League's voice is sort of a nice, flat monotone. It's sort of a mid-range, droning, honking sound. It's awful. Nobody is going to want to listen to that for more than ten seconds.

2) The League requires the time between thought and typing in order to create this unique little universe you see here. Just talking...? Eh. The League doesn't do so well.

Reviewing Randy's individual requests for types of Podcasts:

a) The League has remained friendly because The League doesn't suffer much for politics. Sure, The League is willing to have a nice, reasoned debate, especially when given time to collect The League's thoughts. But The League doesn't watch shouty point/ counter point shows and would rather not add to the mayhem. And here's a secret. I do want to listen to other viewpoints and consider what they've got to say and maybe take it in for a while. I'm not sure what anybody has to gain by me shouting dumb talking points at somebody else's dumb talking points.

b) I assure you, League HQ IS NOT a wild and crazy place to live. If it were, The League would probably not spend its days and nights obsessing about the adventures of musclebound aliens. Further, Jeff, Lucy and Mel cannot actually speak. At least not into a microphone.

c) If you think the League's voice is annoying, doubling that effect by adding in Steanso isn't going to endear us to anybody. Steanso and The League are virtual voice-clones and share a great deal in the way of colloquialisms and usage of the word "dude".

And what do you mean "descend into drug addiction and egomania"? I assure you, we are entirely there already. The League spends his evenings hopped up on Justice League vitamins and preening in front of a mirror trying to get his Superman spit-curl just right. (And I confess... it takes no small amount of ego to maintain a blog like this day after day).

I'm not totally ruling out any possibilities regarding the Podcast. The largest factor is that I haven't determined how much of a hassle this would be.

This is totally unrelated, but does anybody else think that Barkley might be drunk out of his mind on each and every episode of Inside the NBA? The man is a maniac.

Anyhow, I'm not really sure The League would translate well to radio.

BUT...

Thanks, Randy! I appreciate the vote of confidence/ delusion that the League might be fun in other media. It's this kind of support that gives me the uncontrollable ego which Jamie is beginning to find oh so oppressive.

And, uhmmm... Go Rockets!

The League has a confession to make. The League watches American Idol. The League even VOTES for his favorite contestants (God bless toll-free numbers and re-dial).

Thanks to the power of Digital Video Recorders, Mrs. League has managed to cut the entire hour long program down to about 10 minutes. No commercials. No Randy, no Paula, just enough Simon to hear his verdict and cheer him on as he craftily manipulates the voters of America.

(Example: Last night, after a very decent vocal performance by Vonzell Solomon, Simon said, "You better hope your supporters vote for you." In Simon-ese, this means: You did very well, and in order to ensure people who might be sitting on the fence vote for you, I will make it sound like you need all the help you can get. This will ensure you receive an adequate number of votes. Sure enough, Vonzell was one of the top contestants this week.)

I don't know why I watch the show. I mean, it's a stupid show, the performers are somewhat talented, but the style of music doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. I am also well past blaming Jamie for my viewership.

So, of course, this evening I watched the entire Corey Clark deal on ABC. And here, I must get in lock-step with Randy. I'm an American and I'm an idiot, and the news magazines have no trouble exploiting that to boost ratings. Across the planet we have avertable catastrophe after avertable catastrophe, but this evening I dedicated an hour of my life to watching this sorry excuse for a human being "admit" to having had relations with Paula Abdul.

And I think Jim or Randy was going to write a biting editorial on the North Korean situation, but it hasn't appeared yet.

Now, let me clarify: If I had known pretty much any famous person the way Corey claims to have known Paula Abdul, I'd probably want an hour of prime-time TV to tell people about it, too. However, I wouldn't be trying to get a recording contract and a book out of it. I just like to share.

You can read the various reports which are probably trickling out on CNN.com, Yahoo! News, etc... The evidence which Clark provides is circumstantial, but that certainly doesn't mean that it isn't pointing an enormous glowing arrow toward Corey's camp. Corey appears to be a complete jackass, but that doesn't mean he's lying. And just because he's not lying doesn't mean he isn't absolutely without talent.

I had forgotten in the two years since he was on TV how truly awful that guy really is.

Anyway, after the full hour of prime time TV dedicated to this nonsense, our local affiliate spent 5 minutes covering the exact same story we'd spent an hour watching, then would update us every commercial break to tell us lots of people were voting online whether or not they believed Corey.

98% of people didn't believe him. 98%.

Sure, he's an untrustworthy schmoe, but what, exactly, did Paula Abdul to gain our trust? Was it the dancing cartoon cat that won us over? Was it the failed marriage to Emilio Estevez that had us thinking, "She cannot tell a lie!"

Or was it the hit-and-run car wreck from earlier this year? Or the revelation that Paula's been hopped up on goofballs for the past few seasons of AI thanks to some back injury.

I dunno.

The important thing is that the Spurs won a decisive victory and are on to Round 2 in the play-offs.

This one is for Jim.

Sounds like the League's favorite pundit was asked a colorful question while giving a speech at UT. The question apparently had little to do with Ann Coulter's views and more to do with being wacky/ disruptive.

I am sure that the right's own little hot house flower withered on the vine.

Apparently the student in question also gesticulated inappropriately, and all in the presence of kids under the age of 10.

From The Smoking Gun:
The police affidavit notes that Coulter's lecture was attended by "several children under the age of ten," which probably made them particularly sensitive when Raj queried Coulter about the sexual proclivities of certain right-leaning men.

Which begs the question: Whaaaaaaa....???

I remember being ten. (Don't tell my folks, but I remember being ten better than I remember being twenty thanks to some experimental study techniques). And I'm not sure that listening to someone blather on about politics when I was ten would really have done it for me. Maybe if they'd explained reforming social security while twirling a lightsaber. THAT would have kept my attention.

Further... Ann Coulter? Seriously? And they're concerned about some dude making lewd hand gestures is polluting the little cretins' minds?

Sweet!

I love Zorro.

Oh, Leaguers. I am unsure of how to entertain you this evening. I don't have time for a "DITMTLOD" or any of my other wildly amusing columns.

Honestly, with two weeks down of me being sick, Jamie then being sick, and Lucy being sick in the middle... I haven't had much time to ponder the imponderables and dream up worthwhile ways to waste your work day. Not to mention work.

I work at a large, state university and classes ended today. Because I am responsible for delivery and creation of classes, in theory I should be breathing a sigh of relief. But the fact is, we have summer classes coming up, Fall classes to think about, and other projects to work on as well. It never ends, people.

DC Comics are continuing to rock my socks off. The titles are now clicking into one another like cogs on a a crazy comic book machine. It's a heck of a fun time. So, you know, when you GO TO FREE COMIC BOOK DAY, you can pick up any of DC's titles and jump into the frivolity.

Because I want to be fair, I want to mention that DC's oft-less than friendly competition Marvel is not exactly run by chimps. They've also got a big cross-over event going on under the title "House of M". It helps to have read "Avengers: Disassembled" in order to enjoy the series, but I am sure "House of M" will be fine on it's own.

Nice little side story. Apparently the cover artist for one of the House of M books cribbed an image of the King of Spain for his portrait of Magneto. Apparently the King of Spain's people found out and they are not amused. Read here.

The somewhat "edgy" X-Men spin-off series, X-Statix, was pretty much brought down about two years ago by a remarkably poor decision to have a story in which real-life/ real-dead Princess Diana was brought back to life as some sort of mutant superhero. Seriously.

I understand wanting to be edgy or whatever the hell people do when they want to draw attention to themselves. As long as it generates a decent story.

Apparently I have more of a nose for controversy than the publishers at Marvel, because at least I saw that the British Royals might not think too highly of this particular idea.

It appears that Marvel's execs caught wind of what Marvel-publishing was up to after the movie-end of the Marvel business walked into several meetings in Hollywood and ran into angry folks who had known the real life Princess Di.


No, really...

The comic was, of course, changed. But it was, of course, entirely too late.

The controversy was one of several factors that brought Marvel's then-President Bill Jemas down. That, losing all of their decent talent but Bendis and telling both customers and retailers to go jump in a lake. Funny how things work out.

I know. I'm shocked, too. I had no idea Spain still had a king.

Anyhow, there's something to for you to read up on.

And you thought it was all heat-vision and bullet proof skin...

Hey, Leaguers!

I have failed to previously mention it, but...

Saturday is Free Comic Book Day

As you might have noticed, The League of Melbotis has a passing interest in the comic book format of sequential art-storytelling. We at The League hope that you, not at The League, will take the opportunity presented by FCBD and check out the wide-world of comics.

It appears every store handles this event differently. Austin Books on Lamar in Austin, TX gives out one copy of each comic to all comers. While my local shop, Atomic Comics, gives out one comic per warm body. Atomic Comics is also at the mall and has a lot higher foot traffic.

Personally, I think giving out as many different comics as possible is a better business model. It widens the chances that new and old readers will try something on which they never read before.

While at the shop, I suggest you take a look at what's on the shelf. Some neat books are out there for every taste. If you don't know where to start, try asking one of the erstwhile employees of your shop for some hints and clues.

For help finding a shop in your neck of the Hyperverse, you can check out the Comic Shop Locator.

See you on FCBD!!!!

I am sure Jamie found this by way of Doug.

I believe the Mysterious M will enjoy this most of all.

Kitten War.

You see the Admiral as you want to see him.



I'll see him as he is.


Yarrrrhhh!!!

Everyone else is doing it...

Your Taste in Music:

80's Alternative: High Influence

Punk: High Influence

80's Pop: Medium Influence

80's R&B: Medium Influence

90's Alternative: Medium Influence

Progressive Rock: Medium Influence

80's Rock: Low Influence

Alternative Rock: Low Influence

Dance: Low Influence

Hair Bands: Low Influence

Old School Hip Hop: Low Influence

Ska: Low Influence

How's Your Taste in Music?

Movie viewing update:

In case you were wondering...

yes, I did watch part of the Sci-Fi Channel's Saturday night movie, "Man-Thing."

yes, it is based upon an obscure Marvel Comics character from the 1970's who is a rip-off of DC Comics' popular and critically acclaimed comic series Swamp Thing. No, nobody has read a Man-Thing comic in years.

No, I do not know why they chose THIS character to adapt to film.

Especially after Swamp Thing has been translated to 2 feature films, a TV series and a cartoon (as well as an unpopular line of toys).

Yes, Man-Thing was originally slated for theatrical release, was decided to go straight to DVD, then bypassed that and went straight to basic cable.

Yes, the movie was that dumb. Which means comic fans will choose this particular movie to champion and claim "it wasn't that bad." My friends, it was, in fact, that bad. It might even be Mansquito bad.