Okay okay okay

The League can take a hint. No more posts on how we organize our comics.

Dames in the Media The League Once Dug:

Mary Kate Danaher from The Quiet Man


The Quiet Man's Mary Kate Danaher as portrayed by the lovely Maureen O'Hara

Ah, Maureen O'Hara. It may have been in Miracle on 34th Street that I first noticed you, and that hung-over Sunday morning in San Antonio when I tried to make it through Against All Flags that I noticed you could poke out my eye with a cutlass, but it was your role as Mary Kate Danaher in The Quiet Man that won me over.


In Miracle on 34th Street, Maureen plays what we in the business call a "Yummy Mummy"


Yarrrrghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Sure, this DITMTLOD is a little different as it doesn't focus on a TV character from my youth, but this is my damn blog, and if I want to talk about Maureen O'Hara, by gum, I'm a gonna do it.

Released in 1952, The Quiet Man tells the tale of a boxer born in Ireland who immigrated to the US as a child. The boxer, Sean Thornton (played by John Wayne), has ended his career for mysterious reasons and chosen to return to his family's home in Ireland. Here, Thornton meets Mary Kate Danaher and has to adjust to the local Irish customs in order to woo her. The movie is directed by the legendary John Ford, and while it's not a western, Ford certainly handles the material with his usual flair.


No golden lasso or talking car, but still noteworthy

Really, it's a very fun movie and was recommended to me by my high school biology teacher, Mr. Bryant, who I owe a lot to. Mostly, I thank Mr. Bryant for not sending me to the principal upon the numerous occasions when he had very, very good reason to do so.

Every Irish stereotype you can think of is trotted out for the movie, and lovingly embraced by the Irish actors playing all the major roles. It should also be mentioned that Maureen O'Hara actually is from Ireland, so the casting there was quite intentional.

So, what does Mary Kate Danaher have that makes her League-worthy

1) While not a brunette in a form-fitting one-piece uniform, Mary Kate manages to make a blouse, skirt and smock look very nice.


Here, Mary Kate hops up to plant one on John Wayne playing the role he knows best: John Wayne

2) Mary Kate ain't afraid to slap around John Wayne. Mary Kate is given to fits of wild temper, which, we learn, may be why she ain't quite landed herself a husband yet. These fits of temper tend to lead to some plate throwing and whatnot, but it's all in good fun.


Yeah, she's yelling at him

3) Mary Kate has a fun family. Sure, the conflict between her brother and John Wayne is a major part to the story, but it just goes to prove there's nothing a few pints and an extended slugging match can't settle.


Even in this silly hat, Mary Kate Danaher looks quite fetching

4) Mary Kate is multi-talented. From herding sheep to more domestic chores, Mary Kate seems to be a quick study.

5) Responsible for one of the greatest screen kisses of all time. Sure, Spielberg actually referenced it frame for frame in E.T., but there was a reason Steve-o picked that particular scene for his movie. I hate to give away the context of the scene, but with a storm blowing through the doorway of their new cottage, Sean and Mary Kate pretty much seal up the running for best culmination of romantic tension.


Sometimes romance ain't all puppy-tails and flowers.

Ah, but she's a ravishing red-head, she is.

I'm not sure what category The Quiet Man falls into. Romantic comedy? Romantic dramady? I want to point out that this movie isn't a western, it doesn't have a single ape, superhero, robot or starship in it, and I still find myself watching it over and over. The League highly recommends this movie.

Wayne and O'Hara re-teamed for the comedy-western McClintock!, which is a pretty good movie right up until the final scenes where you really, really start to feel uncomfortable as a 21st century human being. The movie was, I should add, filmed in AZ.


For the previous "Dames in the Media the League Once Dug", click here.

BTW, Kurt over at "Return to Comics" has an interesting closer to his adventure into Manga from last week.

I highly suggest you read the Manga posts as well as Kurt's follow-up.

The Fan-Dad Cometh, indeed.

The League Presents
Suggestions for Further Reading

OCD: The Comic Book Way


Uuggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

I'm working on bagging, boarding and boxing comics. Well, most of them were already bagged and boarded. But I haven't popped open my boxes in quite a while.

My comics organizing is sort of done by theme more than alphabetically. I don't just have Action Comics followed by Ambush Bug, followed by Blue Beetle. I have my Superman boxes, Batman and X-men boxes. It sort of works, I think.


A typical comic "long box"

Currently I've got about 9 short boxes and around 12 long boxes. And I'm beginning to appreciate the guys who wisely live in their mother's basements with enough space to store all of their damn comics. Now, Jamie doesn't want to move in with my parents just so I can turn Jason's old bedroom into a comic storage space, but I like the idea. I mean, he's only there at Christmas and, like, Mom's birthday. And he LIKES cardboard boxes.

Anyway, I have a lot of work ahead of me as it's been about ten months since I actually got all of my comics in order (by title and number). I read about four Superman comics, so right there that's about 40 comics. So when you add up the JLA, JSA, the five of six Batman comics, and, oh, man... why do I hold on to these things?

It's gotta be some form of OCD.

The thing that's sort of killing me is that, apparently, about 7 or 8 months ago I, apparently, didn't sort my comics. I just stuck them all in a long-box after bagging and boarding them. So it was an issue of Promethea, an issue of Aquaman, an issue of Black Panther... So after I thought I'd sorted and stacked my comics in preparation to start pulling out boxes, I had to go through a shortened version fo the process and then go through my existing stacks and shuffle in the missing issues.


The League's preferred bags. We like Silver Age bags and boards.

I now have to pull the boxes down and try to squeeze the new comics in. When they don't fit, I have to choose a title or two which will have to be resorted and find a new home. For example, I have a "Batman Family" box with Robin, Nightwing, Batgirl, Gotham Central, etc... stuff that's Batman related, but titles I may not pick up every issue. Well, I DO pick up Gotham Central every issue (and you should, too... this is a great cop procedural, and I norammly stand indifferent to cop procedurals. Let's just say Law & Order is different when teh criminals look like demented clowns and Batman is usually three steps ahead of our boys in blue), and had picked up a lot of "Batman Family" books due to a lot of cross-overs such as "War Games".

Anyway, I pulled Gotham Central out of the Batman Family box, and I'm not yet sure where it's going. Probably a temporary spot while I sort through my other Batman comics.

It is very much a personal library system, and a fun one to maintain.

I will admit to being probably more careless with some of my comics than I should be, just for sorting purposes. They all get bags and boards, but one of the most oddly expensive items in comic collecting are the plastic dividers one is supposed to place between comics. For a pack of 25 dividers, most folks will charge you in the neighborhood of $12.50. That's like $0.50 a divider. I'm fairly certain that I could find some other way to identify comics, but you can probably guess that I don't want to identify every comic I ever bought but didn't necessarily want to throw away.

This doesn't really get into the actual book shelf organization of the graphic novels and trade paperbacks. That's sort of an artform unto itself as well, but I'll save that one for a later day.

As I've complained before, I am literally running out of space. And while I do have all my comics in order, I still haven't built a comprehensive database of my comics. The amount of time it would take to actually enter each comic into a db seems a little overwhelming, but I suspect I should. Really, I'm looking for an online service, partially for insurance reasons.

One option is Comicpriceguide.com. These guys seems to have the right idea, and it doubles as an auction site, so I could, in theory, turn around and sell my comics through these guys. And with dwindling space, unloading large chunks of my collection is beginning to seem like a good idea.

The industry standard is called ComicBase, but as far as I know, they aren't online quite yet. Maybe this year, though, and then I'll do some shopping.

I could use Excel or Access, but, honestly, I'm way too lazy to enter in all that data when somebody else may have already created a place where I can use a radio button to indicate what I have and determine the net worth.

I really don't have even a rough estimate of the number of comics I own, but it would be interesting to find out.

Well, for me, anyway.



For the last Suggestions for Further Reading, go here.

The League presents:
Suggestions for Further Reading

The Rant


Okay... So, today a comics-related rant. Go about your business if this sounds dull. I understand.

Erik Larsen is the creator of The Savage Dragon and a co-founder of Image Comics. Today, Eric STILL works on Savage Dragon after years and years in the game.

In addition, he's recently become the publisher at Image Comics.

He's now got a column going at ComicBookResources.com called "One Fan's Opinion". I read a lot of comic-based columns, but I gotta say, today Mr. Larsen's column really rang true with me.

The basic idea was:

One of the oddities of the comic fan world (I hesitate to use community in reference to what is essentially a solitary act) is that comic fans are complete jerks to each other.

I assume that the behavior comes from the fact that comic collectors are most comfortable plowing through a pile of comics all by their lonesome, or somehow organizing or cataloguing their collection. Neither of these are particularly social activities and not terribly conducive to building social skills.

That said, how, exactly, can collectors be jerks?

As Larsen points out, there are jerks right at the front line. The very guys who are supposed to be selling you the product you are holding in one hand (with money in the other hand), will tell you the product you're about to buy isn't worth reading. Now, The League spent a glorious year-and-a-half working at a mall record store and is all too familiar with the temptation to shout at customers buying idiotic product. But you know what? Despite the fact I was making $5.25, I managed to rein it in. Sure, occasionally I'd be forced into a position where I had to tell a customer why I hadn't bought the latest Yanni album, but I was usually pretty polite.

The comic shop owners, one would assume, would be more careful about keeping a loyal customer base. I guess being the owners, they are entitled to do whatever they want in their store, but it's astounding how many owners and staff will give you lip as you're handing them money. And, honestly, I don't really try to drum up conversations with comic shop owners, but after a while, it does make you want to consider doing all of your shopping online.

Just as curious is the fellow comic shop patron who takes a look at what you're picking up and makes a snide comment about your selection. Invariably, you look to see what this person is holding and it's a stack of books you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. But that's why it's a free market. That's why there's a selection of titles out there for folks to choose from. Making comments that your copy of "Near Naked Warrior Vixen" is somehow superior to my copy of "Old Fashioned Hero Guy" is a pyrrhic victory at best.

I think it's worth noting that the internet has damaged the comic market in three ways:

1) eBay has pretty much meant you can't find good back issues at your local retailer and that if you want something, you're competing with every jerk with a modem on the face of the planet
2) Only now are comic companies realizing that you shouldn't tell every detail of a comic which hasn't been released in order to sell it. Sometimes less is more
3) Message boards are filled with semi-literate, apparently unemployed goons hellbent on name-calling and making wild claims about comics they haven't even read

The comics-related internet is awash in a sea of trolls, each trying to claim that some specific moment in Captain America in 1978 was the pinnacle of the comic story-telling format. Or that Batman hasn't been worth reading since Neal Adams quit penciling the series. It's not just that these guys really liked a specific artist or creator, it's that every other comic before or since is crap, and the creators should somehow be punished.

The groundswell is dissipating now, but two to three years ago, it was decided that superhero comics should all be replaced at Marvel and DC with black and white indie comics, or European comics, and anyone who didn't agree was clearly a moron. That one was fun.

There's a constant argument about why people don't read comics anymore, and it usually centers on "how do we bring in teen-age girls?", a question which answered itself about two years ago with the Manga explosion (which Barnes & Noble and Borders have very successfully capitalized on, I might add). It's usually pointed out that comics used to have all kinds of genres, even from the big two publishers, and the finger of blame is pointed at the publishers that they gave up on romance and cowboy comics. Never once is it mentioned that maybe they quit printing those comics due to low sales. It's also forbidden to suggest that sales may be a bit low because you have to go to a comic shop to buy comics, and most comic shops are like entering a serial-killer's basement. When I see the look of fear on the face of mothers, I know something has gone horribly wrong.

Post-teen Manga readers sort of remind me of Mac Users circa 1997. To use a PC was to be a corporate whore. Anything a PC did, A Mac could do better and faster. Windows machines crash, Macs are rock solid. But at the end of the day, I was comfortable with my PC, it worked fine and it seemed like a good deal. And, of course, Manga fans are in the habit of insisting you broaden your mind and read manga, but shrug off any suggestions that American comics could hold any appeal.

This isn't a judgement call on the virtues of Manga, Leaguers. It's an observation of the conversations one sees online and the evangelical spirit of some Manga readers.

Just FYI: On the obnoxious cale, Manga fans are like a 2 out of 10. The ongoing war between Marvel Zombies and DC Fanboys is @#$%ing ludicrous.

Look, I understand brand loyalty, but even as I push DC comics here, I genuinely do have an affection for a lot of Marvel comics. I read Spidey, some FF, some Cap, Daredevil, The Pulse...

But the war spilled over from the fans grousing at each other to Marvel and DC playing hard-ball with each other. And then, weirdly, it got into the comics themselves. It's now an odd favorite of the competing companies to come up with painful analogs of familiar characters and try to insert them into their own comics. (Actually, Gruenwald probably started all of that with Squadron Supreme). As a reader, for twentyu years I enjoyed the "friendly rivalry" between Marvel and DC, but at the end of the day you knew these guys were going to grab a beer together. Now, well, it's gotten ugly. And who the hell cares about this diva nonsense? It's comic books. Shut up and write a decent story and don't use the analogs unless there's a darn good point to be made.

The fact is, nobody... I mean, NOBODY in the real world knows the damn difference between DC and Marvel. Some people sort of know the Marvel name thanks to the well-placed logo on the Spider-Man movies, but when my co-workers are trying to get hip with their resident comic geek, I get a lot of "So, Marvel's putting out a new Superman movie."

Yes, the companies have different universes and they have different house styles, etc... But it's 2 degrees of separation. It's still people in tights solving problems by clobbering each other.

The most recent surge in unpleasantness has centered around the large events being orchestrated by the Big 2. Marvel has House of M, DC has Infinite Crisis. And a lot of people are just furious about the whole thing. Especially people who haven't picked up a comic by one company or the other in a decade. The argument goes something like "I haven't read a DC Comic since (insert late-80's/ early 90's event), so I checked out (insert Infinite Crisis comic), and it wasn't exactly what I expected and wasn't exactly like the comics in 1987, so (insert expletive here) DC."

Look, your opinion counts, and you obviously didn't like the comic, but... If you haven't ever read a Superman comic since 1939, you vocally hate the character, and then you find the Superman comic you do read to not be what you expected, you don't get to say "Superman was acting out of character." It's that simple.

I think a lot of the desire to place strictures on what can and can't be in comics comes from the fact that comic readers are comic readers because they latched onto some aspect of some comic in their youth, and they're in a constant, uphill battle to reclaim that moment. And rather than accept that comics go on with or without them, finding something new and different can create an uncomfortable level of cognitive dissonance.

The bottom line for The League is that the comics world is a consumer's market. If you don't like something, don't buy it. Vote with your wallets and your feet. Nobody is forcing you to buy something you don't like. There are hundreds of comics published every month from dozens of companies. DC and Marvel may have a stranglehold on Wolverine and Batman, but you're always free to explore both old and new comics you may never have read.

Whether you like it or not, comics are always going to be published that you may not find appealing. You don't stand in line at the grocery store telling someone that Chip a Hoys suck and that you're an Oreo man. Or at least I hope not.

The internet may be a huge pain in the ass in some ways, but it's also given us the comic blogs, news sites and online previews. Sites like "Dave's Long Box", "Return to Comics" and "The Comic Treadmill" (which I need to add to my blog roll) all give me hope and make me know it can be about friendly discussion and a lot of fun. It's not all about name-calling and anonymous posturing.

The League is a firm believer that, within reason, you can do whatever the hell you want to do and enjoy whatever you want to enjoy. If you want to put on a tie and work in an office, groovy. If you want to run away and join Up with People, that's your decision. It doesn't effect me one way or another. And so it should be with your selection of reading materials.

Comics can and should be the same way, especially with as small of an audience that comics really have. Reading comics is and can be fun. And it doesn't need to be all about sitting in your hidey hole bagging and boarding your run on Ambush Bug. It's nice to have a fun discussion every once in a while.

It's an uncivilized world to begin with, the least comic fans can try to do is show a little courtesy to one another.

Go here for the last Suggestions for Further Reading

Excellent news for Jeff Shoemaker.

I really liked Players. Sure, everything there was deepfried, even the soda cups, but the food was palatable, and selecting it as a destination was a surefire way to get Shoemaker to agree to have lunch with you.

So I haven't been online in a while. Sorry about that.

Monday night I was sick and in bed by 8:00pm. I have no idea what was wrong with me. It may be something is going around the office, but I'm not sure. Anyway, no blogging when I'm asleep.

Tuesday night I was preoccupied, and that brings us to tonight.

Well, not so much preoccupied tonight, and I feel fine (for a guy who ate McDonald's for dinner). I am a bit down, however. My PC at work got the blue screen of death and it's deader than a doornail. Luckily I backed all my docs up to DVDs last week in an unrelated incident. I'm supposed to be getting a new Latitude PC, but it's going to take a while, so in the meantime I'm stuck using a computer which isn't mine. It just happens to be that the laptop I'm using doesn't have a DVD drive. Which means, you guessed it, I can't use my files.

Ugh. It's really depressing.

Watched part of the Peter Jennings 2-hour, commercial-free tribute on ABC tonight, and part of me was wondering when, exactly, ABC started producing this thing. Jennings just died over the weekend. I've worked in video production. Even with several people working simultaneously, I find it enormously surprising that the special wasn't pre-produced to some extent. It's a morbid thought, but one is forced to consider the idea that ABC started working on this documentary the minute Jennings announced he had cancer.

This morning, for various reasons, I didn't go into work until almost 11:00. This meant that I was at home watching Headline News while eating my Cheerios during normal working hours. Now, after the re-vamp of Headline News back around 2000, I sort of quit taking Headline News seriously. I miss the format of Lynne Russell staring into the camera for hours on end and reading AP releases.

So, I can't tell you how irritated and disillusioned I've become with the NEW Headline News. The primetime hours during which I used to watch are now filled with two shows (shows? On Headline News?) One show is Showbiz news, officially throwing CNN in with E! network and Entertainment Tonight and lowering the collective IQ of the country. The other show is Nancy Grace, and the less said about that lunatic, the better.

One wonders what they would do if we had a war on. Wait....

This leaves about 18 hours a day for news. News which is about 30% entertainment news, and mostly reported by spokesmodels with very nice hair.

And this is where I get back to Peter Jennings and why I shall miss him.

This morning Headline News was covering President Bush's signing of the new transportation bill (a bill which I have no opinion of, and could honestly care less), and part of the story centered around a lot of pork added to the bill as riders benefitting local rep's districts, etc... Of course, it was mentioned that there were "critics of the bill", but no party affiliation or names were named. However, it WAS mentioned that "critics of the bill" felt that there was a lot of pork on the bill.

At the conclusion of the story, CNN News Bunny Kathleen Kennedy rolls her eyes and says "there's always critics". And not in a "ha ha, there's always someone out there who doesn't like something" sort of way. It was pretty clear that Ms. Kennedy is just sick and tired of all these people who keep bugging the President.

Dear Kathleen Kennedy:

Your job is to read the teleprompter, look grave when discussing death and smile as we go to commercial. Try not to @#$% it up.

Love,

The League


The reason we call journalists "The 4th Estate" isn't because it sounds awesome (because it sort of does), it's because in a world of shady bastards posing as electable do-gooders, we're lucky enough to live in a country where the press got it's groove on by taking pot shots at the shadier dealings of the elected shady bastards. It has long been expected that political decision makers are kept in check not just by the 3 branches of government, but by our belief that citizens (journalists) can peer into a transparent government and question decision making.

I'm a firm believer that journalists are supposed to be making waves and looking for corruption and vice. Despite party affiliations, journalists should be responsible for covering a story in its entirety, including voices of dissent. And they should be able to try to reporty upon the facts without editorial comment. If the facts of what they're trying to report on aren't enough, then the story doesn't stand on it's own.

I'm not sure I mourn just Peter Jennings, but the Edward R. Murrow school of journalism. It's not enough that the major networks are going to continue to slash the budgets of their news agencies in the face of the 24-hour news channel. But the big three knew they weren't just serving one political side of the fence or the other, they made an effort to stick to straight-forward reporting for the entire country.

All journalists are guilty of selecting stories which slant to their point of view. But that shouldn't change the fundamental nature of the journalist's job. Having a point of view is human nature, but it's also why we have editors and editorial boards. And it's also why journalists should try to be twice as hard on politicians with whom they feel they can support.

We're now getting our news from talking heads whose greatest aspiration was NOT to be a journalist, but to be a face on television. With the same pie of money cut into a million slices, journalistic ethics and standards are a liability in the battle for audience share. After all, news and anchors that match and reinforce preconceived notions rather than challenge the common wisdom turn out to be a big draw. Especially when they paint opinion and spin as unvarnished truth.

In any event, the role of an anchor shouldn't be to hear a news story and then dismiss part of the story out of hand because they don't find it convenient. Try not to look like you just rolled out of bed, read your teleprompter and go home. Collect a pay-check every two weeks. Your job is pretty simple.

And before everyone comes down on me like a ton of bricks saying that I wouldn't be saying this if I agreed with Kathleen Kennedy, I most assuredly would. It's the same reason I don't get my news from Al Franken, and I try to get my news from wire reports instead of television to begin with.

I know I'm in the minority, but I'd gladly pay extra for a cable news channel which did nothing but go back to Headline News' original format. Give me Lynne Russell and thirty minutes of the same stories in rotation all night long. I'm up for that.

I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more.

Ah, the studios just can't help themselves.

The trailer is now up for the theatrical release of V for Vendetta.

You can watch it here.

Make sure you have QuickTime.

Before I write anything else on the topic, I need to re-read V. It's been several years. But it certainly wasn't an action filled romp when last I checked.

Singer Ibrahim Ferrer of the Buena Vista Social CLub is dead at age 78.

Read more here.

ABC news anchor Peter Jennings is dead at the age of 67.

Read more here.

Peter Jennings was a favorite of mine of the big three. He cemented this standing during his steady coverage of the events of September 11th, 2001.

An excellent newsman. TV news is a poorer place without him.

The League Presents:
The League taste-tests the new BK Chicken Fries

Chickens. Small barnyard birds we like to consume by the bucketfull.

We grill them, we broil them, we fry them up. McDonalds took the lead in chicken reprocessing with the introduction of the chicken nugget way back in the day. Other fast food chains have tried to keep up, all with middling success.

But Burger King has taken it up a notch. Enjoy french fries? Enjoy chicken? Why not enjoy both in one greasy little package?

Perhaps you've seen the BK adds with the chicken-themed metal band, KoqRoq? Well, I'm a bitch for good advertising, and so off to the BK voyaged The League.

Oh, a forwarning. I do not have mouth herpies. I had a weird zit near my lip today and it shows a lot more in these photos than in natural light.


Here is our meal. You can see 2 drinks, 2 sets of regular french fries, 2 burgers and 1 box of BK Chicken Fries. We're anticipating not liking the chiken fries, but we don't think that means we should go hungry.


Here is a box of chicken fries. On the off-chance they're really, really good, we spent a few extra cents and got 9 fries instead of 6.


Not a good sign. You can pretty clearly see the grease lining the box. The fries are smaller than I expected.


In the spirit of the Pepsi Holiday challenge, we tried to pose Jeff near the chicken fries. Jeff refused to recognize the fries as food. True, he doesn't care much for people food as a rule, but when it's deep fried beyond recognition, Jeff would rather play with the straws on the cups.


Jamie steps up to the plate to model the fries and give you a size comparison.


One must always first smell the new food item to get the taste buds ready for that which you are about to consume. The box does little to mask the odor which has been tailing us since we grabbed the bag at the drive-thru.


Free of the box, the fries' pungent smell assaults the senses. Not as bad as I'd assumed.


Taste.
The chicken fries aren't as bad as I'd assumed at first. It's an odd blend of fast-food chicken, french fries and grease. It's tempting to add salt, but I'd be afraid that the chicken fries would dissolve like slugs.


The texture is sort of mushy. Not melt in your mouth mushy like french fries. You certainly do need to chew. Ah, delicious.


The sauce. The name of the sauce is "Buffalo Sauce". Jeff, once again, is completely uninterested.


The color is frightening, as if plucked right from the palettes of hell. The smell isn't anything to get excited about, either.


The smell is really getting to me. Every fiber of my being tells me not to taste this sauce.


My fiber is right. The sauce is inedible. There's some vague sense that it was supposed to be wing sauce, and one is left wondering "why"? The fries have not the taste, texture or feeling of wings, and there's no beer in sight. The buffalo sauce is a false promise made all the more foul by tasting like special sauce with sick in it.


And so endeth my experience with the sauce.


Once again, Jamie steps up to the plate.


Jamie has a very, very different reaction to the fries.


Jamie chooses a different lunch.


Bwah ha ha. the fries are mine and mine alone.


Full disclosure, with a whooper w/ cheese and chicken fries both available, I opted for the whopper. I would think that would tell you something. Also, the fries found their way into the trashcan right behind the sauce. Once the fries cooled down, they just weren't as palatable.

The League votes the chicken fries experience a 3 or 4 out of a 10 on the fast food scale. Oh, and a complete abomination to all of chicken kind.

Hola amigos. It's been a while since I rapped at ya.

Well, I don't have much to report. The League has been a busy bee, and after reading a stack of comics the last two nights, the League wanted nothing more than to toss himself headfirst into bed and wish for the cold grip of death to claim me. Wait, no... That's not right.

Anyway, I've been neglecting my duties here at The League.

It's tough to come up with new ideas, but I'm not here to bitch. I'm just saying... I'm a little dry right at the moment. I'd probably default to writing about comics, but, Leaguers, I'm not sure that too many of you guys stick with me when you see a post on, oh, say, why the JSA is awesome. Or do you?

Anyway, it's kept me from popping up with much this week.

Here's something: For more than a month I've been keeping a log of what I eat for lunch. Why? I haven't the faintest. Anyway, the blog is Lunchtime with The League.

You will notice that 1) Tempe has a terrific number of places to eat. 2) I go out very, very often for lunch.

I just have never really liked eating at my desk, but it does happen. I usually just feel like I've got to get some fresh air and sunlight.

Anyway, it's not engaging reading, but it is out there.

I'm also toying with the idea for yet another blog entitled "The Chandlerist". You know how other people will take photos of their town and talk about all the fun crap there is to do in their town? I want to do one of those about Chandler, AZ. Why? Chandler is the most @#$%ing fun place in the world. People keep telling me that, anyway. Someone needs to keep track of how awesome this place is.


Has anyone else seen the new Coke commercial based on the hippy Coke commercial from 1971? They kidnapped a bunch of kids from around the globe and put a bottle of Coke in their hands and forced them to sing in Ingles.

Hilltop Coke commercial

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
I'd like to give the world a Coke
and keep it company

The commercial ran for YEARS, and was one of my earliest memories.

Every few years someone decides to "update" the concept, with varying degrees of success.

Now there's a new commercial for the 'ought's. It's just a bunch of models, you know, hanging out... just chilling on a roof in the NYC area. And, you know, they've sort of turned the Coke song into a rap. And, you know, they're chilling and singing.

There is a short version of the commercial is on TV, but there's an extended version showing at my local theater. I can't seem to find it online.

I'm not sure the original version is this pure thing which can never be touched. It is, after all, sort of co-opting the visual cues of the counter culture movement used for pushing a corporate product into every corner of the world under the auspices of peace and love.

But, you can say it did give us all a memorable campfire tune.

Re: The new version

It's sort of the "photocopy of a photocopy" effect you get when a commercial's greatest strength is it tries to make you recall the first cynically produced commercial in hopes you'll place the same good feelings upon their new, even more cynically produced commercial.

The new one doesn't have ugly people in it. It's just models lip-synching. Nor did they even bother to fly in some dude from New Guinea and some chick from Indonesia. They just went down to the local talent agent and had them send over some good looking 20 year olds after they were done with a Calvin Klein commercial.

Sigh.

At any rate, no matter how bad it gets, it's probably nowhere near as bad as most of Pepsi's advertising.

Oh, and I'm watching Hogan Knows Best on VH1.

Hulk just said, with absolutely no sense of irony:

Without Rocky III, Hulkamania wouldn't have been able to grow into the strongest force in the universe.

You know, Peabo and I saw Hulk wrestle in 9th grade. Screw electromagnetism, screw gravity and the strong and weak forces. Hulkamania IS the strongest force in the universe.

Hot or Not?

Decidedly NOT.

Leaguers, The League is not a handsome man. He's large, portly, sort of blank around the eyes and generally resembles a panda which has somehow lost it's way and cannot figure out how to return to the bamboo forest.

We lack washboard abs, hair gel, a waxed chest and pretty much anything else which someone might consider to be "attractive" in this day and age. Perhaps the pizza and sloth lifestyle I've adopted isn't turning me into the muscel-bound dynamo I had hoped it might.

But how unattractive is The League?

Well, for years we've had the technology to tell us exactly that. We've long suspected a deep love of pizza and loathing of an exercise regime would lead to a general feeling of repulsion by most folks, but now we've got real, scientific evidence.

Leaguers, The League has submitted his photo to HOTorNOT.com


The offending photo

Come see my linky link here.

I went ahead and voted myself a 10. I figure I need a little boost to offset the onslaught of poor numbers as we move forward and I gradually realize the best looking I will ever be was probably 10 years ago, and that ain't ever coming back. It's all downhill from here.

I've done a little research, and I figure in light of today's sex symbols, the League is but a pale shadow. I figure if we get a 3 to a 3.5, we're doing gangbusters. We're just not going to do well here.

Nonetheless, it's better to be honest with oneself and just find out.

I'll be checking my stats. To see how poorly we're doing, you'll see something along the lines of the item below:

HOT or NOT ? Not enough votes to calculate a rating Rate me!

Good Lord, I am not a good looking man.

This is going to rock.

For Reed.

Oh, how I miss the Gremlin.

2 quick blips...

Blip #1

Here's a nice article on the architecture appearing in the skyline of the DC Comic: The Manhattan Guardian. Read here.

This is why I like Grant Morrison's stuff. I knew there was some crazy stuff going on in the background of the frames and from some of the dialogue, but I didn't realize that the structures the characters were referring to actually existed.

Special thanks to Jim D. for the article. Go read Manhattan Guardian.

Blip #2

The @#$%ing Suns just traded away Joe Johnson. I listened to the news all the way into work today, and this was the only story that made me audibly shout out "NO!" and start pounding on my steering wheel.

I think I need to recheck my priorities.

On the other hand, that's 2 of my favorite players gone. (No, the other one was Quentin Richardson, not High-Fiving White Guy).

Suggestions for Further Reading

Quick Picks of the Week

Flash 224

Did you read the Geoff Johns rant from a few days ago? No? Well, go read it. Johns is wrapping up his run (ha ha... It's the Flash... a run. Oh, screw you guys) after five years. He's going out with a heck of a bang, going back to events of two years ago and beyond to create what appears to be the pinnacle of the sort of crazy-assed, mind-bending, fan-boy rewarding superheroics Flash has been excelling at monthly for five years.

Thanks, Geoff.













Wonder Woman #219 and OMAC Project #4

Holy smokes. I'm just really digging the heck out of the OMAC Project. I do think DC completely screwed up by not just integrating the Superman/ Wonder Woman "Sacrifice" storyline right into OMAC, but it doesn't really effect me as I read Superman and Wonder Woman, anyway (and so should you)... If Rucka's idea was to get you to read more comics, I think he succeeded. Thus far, of the four Countdown to Infinite Crisis series, OMAC seems poised to have the most far-reaching effects in the DCU.

Wonder Woman #219 ends the 4 part Superman/ Wonder Woman "Sacrifice" storyline, with multiple artists on board. Apparently there was some scheduling issue as this issue had to be shipped in order, and thus DC had to bring in a lot of help. Still, the issue works. Wonder Woman shows she is a warrior in a way Bruce and Clark simply are not, and one gets the feeling things are going to be changing rapidly in the next month or so.








OMAC Project #4 (of 6) follows the events of WOnder Woman #219 by about two minutes. If Sacrifice brought the story to a boil, now it's spilled over onto the burner. Cool stuff here. Nice art. Nice cliff hanger leaving you waiting for the next issue.



















JLA: Classified #10

This series is a sort of "out of continuity" series featuring the JLA, written and drawn by a new creative team with each arc. This issue features writer Warren Ellis and artists Butch Guice. I'm sort of a fan of Warren Ellis. I like most of his work when I don't feel like he's trying to tell me in his story how he's writing down to me so my feeble earth-man brain can get the ideas. (Give me Morrison anyday, giving me enough credit to believe I'm following him where he's going) Here Ellis is doing nice work, and it doesn't hurt that this Guice guy is on the art chores. I like Guice's stuff here, and I'm not sure I've ever seen it before. He's got a nice, realistic style without resorting to drawing over photocopies.

Not sure where the story is going, but it should be good. He's writing Superman as something other than a muscle-bound idiot (DC's editorial seems to have finally found writers willing to do this, or else is gently persuading writers away from this 90's staple). Ellis's Lois is actually really interesting.

Anyway, the series just started, so it's worth seeking out.












For previous SFFR, click here.

THE LEAGUE DECIDES TO GO AND SEE DISNEY'S "SKY HIGH"

The League goes to see these movies because we know you won't...

After having watched commercials for a few weeks and noting Lynda "Wonder Woman" Cater was in the film, The League did some crafty maneuvering and tricked Jamie into going to see Disney's new teen super feature "Sky High".

Sky High is pretty much, beat for beat, what one would expect if you've seen the trailers. The movie is pretty much a lot of elements from lots of coming-of-age movies tied in with a Harry Potter-lite element. The movie is riding the superhero trend, more in the vein of Incredibles than Spider-Man.

The movie follows Will Stronghold, child of two of the greatest superheroes on earth (an earth which is well fortified with super beings, it is suggested) as he leaves the public school system to start his Freshman year at Sky High, a school for the children of super powered folks. The school is there to prepare these kids to follow in their parent's footsteps.

Nothing is really made of Will wanting to buck the family tradition, which is a relief. A character wishing for a humdrum life when he can shoot lasers out of his eyes might make for compelling inner monologue in a comic, but it's a tough sell to kids 3-12. Nor does it make for the best use of the filmic medium. Instead, he's much more concerned about not being able to live up to the legacy his father (and, apparently, grandpa) have established before him.

Will's parents are the Commander (Super Strength) and Jetstream (karate-wielding flier), but Will has not yet shown any powers himself. Of course, there's a lovely girl who likes him whom he hasn't noticed except as friend (which seems like an odd-bit of science fiction as she's quite pretty), and the pretty, popular girl whose attention he soon wants to get. Due to the fact that Will's powers don't seem to be materializing, Will is tossed in with "Hero Support" aka "Sidekicks", the folks with superpowers so negligible that they're destined for a life of assisting folks with better powers (can you see the direction this is going?).

The movie is directed towards two audiences. 1: Kids who will watch anything with people shooting fire out of their eyes (ie Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers) and, 2: The Parents of the Kids who will actually get the jokes in the movie.

Watching the movie in a near full house as we did, I sincerely got the feeling the parents (especially the dads) were enjoying the movie more than their kids. And maybe that wasn't a mistake. The main characters may all be high-school aged kids, but the teachers include two members of Kids in the Hall, Lynda Carter, Kurt Russell, Bruce Campbell and Cloris Leechman. And, perhaps befitting, the adults in the film seem to have taken the roles because most of them are really pretty funny.

Kurt Russell's "Commander" is given to ham-handed hero speak, in a sort of too-thought out attempt at speechifying (a Kurt Russell we've all sort of missed in recent years). Dave Foley plays an instructor for the Sidekicks, teaching sidekick skills and still milking his glory days as the long forgotten "All-American Boy". Kevin McDonald plays the "Mad Science" instructor with the two foot cranium. Bruce Campbell is the coach, and Cloris Leechman plays the school doctor (with X-Ray vision). And Lynda Carter is... Lynda Carter. Does she really need to be anything else?

Will kids think word problems involving flying superheroes are funny? Well, the adults seemed to like it. Will they understand why 12-story robots are inherently funny? No. Their still in a phase where 12-story robots are a dangerous threat. And, you know what? That's okay.
(ed note: I loved the gaint robot sequence. There just aren't enough giant robots in movies)

The prerequisite points about friendship, self-worth and avoiding popular girls are made in a manner slightly less embarrassing than in the typical Teen-Wolf film. Will kids get a lot of the snide commentary on high-school culture the film's producers slip in? Probably not. Well, maybe.

In one last hint that the movie is also catering to parents, the soundtrack is largely composed of 80's tunes, including an unlikely cover of the Talking Heads' "And She Was". Of course I say that, and I think the kids these days are nuts for the 80's so they might really dig a new version fo "Voices Carry".

Ed side note: Yesterday a troop of girls I saw walking across the Target parking lot looked like 1985 had barfed them up like an overripe hairball. Jamie suggested they were headed for a costume party, but that seemed a little high-concept. Plus, here in AZ it's the first week of school, so all the kids are in "fashion week" where they're breaking in their new personality they bought over the summer. (I miss having to break in really dark blue jeans that felt like they were made out of card-board tubes)

As a whole, the movie works just fine. It's nothing I'm going to be modeling my life after, but I might watch it again at some point on cable. It's nothing I'm going to recommend "YOU MUST SEE THIS FILM". But it's also not the piece of junk I was more or less expecting.

Don't expect anything too amazing, and don't be shocked when some of the FX are a bit hokey. But also give the producers some credit for showing a love for the material.

Now, for an added bonus: The League rants about nerds/ jocks in comics

Probably due to the overwhelming popularity of Ultimate Spider-Man, Marvel has been publishing a spate of comics starring teen-agers. The excuse is: Teen-agers are learning about themselves and it's much more fertile territory.

The problem is this: The only story they ever bother to tell is apparently the one which resonates most with comic fans. Nerd gets bullied by "idiot jock", nerd stumbles into amazing powers, nerd gets cheap, violent revenge. Or not. But the common thread is that there's some enormous moose in the hallway at school seemingly torturing our poor, helpless hero who has undiscovered poetry in his/ her soul and is looking for an opportunity to unleash it (and impress the pretty girl/ guy).

Ugh. It's bad enough that this is the perception of "how things are in high school", but let's be honest... everyone is a jerk to everyone else at that age. You don't need enormous "jocks" picking on "nerds" for 15-17 year olds to start bugging each other. And, secondly, the people buying these comics are how old? And they're still picking this stuff up?

I can take some of it. I do, after all, enjoy most of Ultimate Spider-Man. And the nebbish dweeb reveals amazing abilities was the basis for Action Comics #1. I even don't mid reading teen-books (I pick up Teen Titans). BUT, get a new origin. No more jock-pummeling wish fulfillment. Spider-Man did it first and did it better.

Oh, and Narnia Rant: I really want to see this movie. But I need to read the book first.

GOD HATES BOY SCOUTS

Soooo... The week began with four Scout leaders at the Boyscout Jamboree getting electrocuted sticking a tent pole into a power line. Article.

Later in the week, El Presidente was running late due to weather issues and hundreds of Boy Scouts were taken down by oppressive heat at the Jamboree. Article.

And then today a Scout Leader was killed by a lightning bolt. Article.

Indeed, Scouts are not having The Best Week Ever. That, and if you're not quite a Cub Scout and not quite a Boy Scout, you're called a Webelo. And that's just awful.

Speaking of comics...

The Onion A.V. section has two interviews this week with comic writers The League is fairly familiar with.

The first interview is with Brian K. Vaughn. I'm reading the collections of Y: The Last Man and Ex Machina, and highly, highly recommend both series. Vaughn is a uniquely thoughtful writer, looking at big picture/ fantastic ideas and then making them believable and human.

If you don't normally pick up comics and you aren't too keen on superheroes, I'd probably have no trouble putting Y: The Last Man in your hands. In fact, I am going to break the fourth wall here and directly suggest that Maxwell might really enjoy this book.

Steanso or Jim D. seem like Ex Machina type-of-guys.

Interview #2 is with Geoff Johns, a minor diety in the DCU proper.

I first really noticed Johns on either JSA or Flash. I can't remember which. But I've been reading his comics for about 3 - 4 years. I actually remember sitting in the Austin airport waiting for Jamie to come back from her interview in AZ while reading "Flash: Blood Will Run" and thinking "Yeah, I DO like this Johns guy."

Johns also got me reading Hawkman, something I was sure would simply never happen, delivered with a new Teen Titans series in a way the more recent DC teen books hadn't come close to touching. He's now working on Infinite Crisis with Phil Jimenez, which is the big comics event this year. (I also have to mention, I really, really dig Jimenez's work. Sure, it's a lot like Perez, but his Wonder Woman comics were just astounding to look at. And, Jimenez got me reading WW, which is something I never thought I'd do.)

Anyway, check out the interviews. Good stuff, even if Johns' interview sort of necessitates some prior knowledge.

So, everybody wish Steanso the best of luck.

I am sorry to say that due to several factors having nothing to do with his own performance, Friday is Steanso's final day at his current law firm. He's exiting stage left, and I hope that when he goes, he's going to leave them aghast and filled with horror. Sadly, I suspect that he will not rise to the occasion and will probably be civil about the whole deal.

Dammit.

I haven't been writing as much as I'd like. I feel like I need to write something comicbook related as it's been a while.

The only thing I can work up the energy for at the moment is Countdown to Infinite Crisis. Especially the OMAC Project and the tie-in issues of Superman and Wonder Woman. I don't want to say much, but I highly recommend the OMAC series and the JUly issues of all three Superman comics and Wonder Woman. The storyline is called "Sacrifice". Check it out. Should have significant ramifications in the DCU world for quite some time.

Also, I've been diving into longboxes at comic shops lately and looking for back-issues of Superman. It's been fun. The comics are just written from an entirely different era, and era in which the events of Sacrifice would never even be imaginable. But there's still value in these older stories. There's a lot of imagination in these comics and a real focus on fun and directly entertaining an all-ages audience. For me, the Superman comics from this era have a terrific charm.

Looking at the dates on the comics is a bit mind-boggling as you can really see DC comics stayed locked in the same groove right up to Crisis on Infinite Earths that it had built in the 1960's. While Clark was worrying about whether he should marry Lois or Lana for the 200th time, Frank Miller was introducing Elektra and cooking up Dark Knight Returns.

In other topics, I've been watching a lot of NASA Channel. The launch of the Discovery has been fantastic television, including the docking with the ISS and the somersault Eileen pulled off today.

And, lastly, I never got in my $0.02 on Lance's 7th victory at the Tour de France.

Well, it's all been said now, but that makes the achievement no less astounding. Like everyone else, I never paid any attention to cycling until Lance started winning tours, and I certainly never cared about drafting or time trials or any of the rest of it. We've now got our Babe Ruth of cycling. Or maybe Mohammad Ali. I dunno.

Looking forward to seeing what the ma does with the rest of us his life as he's only a year older than Steanso.

Congrats, Lance.

Oh, and I watched my first Phoenix Mercury game. That's WNBA, kids. Apparently we sucked until recently. Then our players came in from Europe, and we're much better now. At one point we were up on the LA Sparks by 30 points.

I am now a huge fan of European players Vodichkova and Stepanova. Vodichkova scored 24 points before taking the bench with 6 minutes or so left in the game.

I'm tired.

Best of luck, Steanso.

There's always work at the post office. Go get a haircut.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show in 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

HIGH-FIVING WHITE GUY SENT TO CHARLOTTE

Jamie... I am sorry to report that High-Fiving White Guy has been traded.

Suns trade Voshkul to Charlotte

The key to the Suns' success this season was not the outstanding play of MVP Steve Nash or the astounding ability of Marion or Stoudemire. No, the glue that held the team together was the same mysterious force who ensured that the Suns bench would never defy gravity and fly off into the troposphere.

All season long Voshkul kept Bo Outlaw company in the furthest reaches of Benchland, firmly planted upon the pine a few minutes walk from Mike D'Antoni. When Stoudemire or Nash came in from play, especially at a time-out, Voshkul would rise and high-five them. He also performed high-fiving duties when Quentin Richardson or Shaun "The Matrix" Marion would hit a three-pointer. These high-fives were usually with Bo Outlaw.

I wish High-Fiving White Guy a tremendous future in Charlotte. He is sure to bring a lot of spirit to a rather languid bench and will, no doubt, team his own mass with the native gravity of Earth to marry the bench to the floor for another season.

Perhaps only funny to those of us who own a cat.

The Shuttle returns to orbit.

All-Star Batman and Robin Review

Hey, here's another review of All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder from in the imcomparable Return to Comics.

The League Journeys to BMT
a full report

As Jamie and I drove away from the airport today, heading home from our fabulous weekend, Jamie turned to me and said, "You really can't write anything funny about the weekend. Jim will hang himself."

True enough, I suppose. But the weekend was terribly fun, even if my personal amusement was at the expense and discomfort of others. Why? It's always about The League, here at The League.

This fine weekend, The League dumped off the pets at the PetsMart PetsHotel, jumped a plane and took a small journey to Spring, TX. We then popped over to Beaumont for the first ever Assemblage of Loyal Leaguers.

We arrived in Houston on Thursday, just in time for dinner. Had dinner with The League's parental units in their palatial suburban abode, hung out and rapped for a bit, and then toddled off to bed.

Friday was a day of slack. The League crawled out of bed, lurched downstairs and came face to face with young Kelsey B., my folk's two-year-old next door neighbor. Kelsey is about 22" of pure dynamo, and we're all expecting big things out of her.

Dad and I sort of puttered and drank coffee, tried to do a headcount of who the hell all was coming to dinner my mother had planned, and then Jamie and I took to the pool at the Spring, TX annex of League HQ. The pair of us bobbed and floated, took in some daylight (which, refreshingly, wasn't cooking the meat off of our bones) and then chilled. The Admiral and I set sail for ice cream and ice, and made a side-trip for me over to Bedrock City Comics (a fine, fine chain of comic shops in Houston) where I picked up the seminal "Last Superman Story" issue, a signed John Bryne comic and a TPB of "Stray Toasters" which I had been looking for for about 15 years.

The admiral shook his head in disappointment and we headed for Kroger to get Vanilla and Magic Shell.

Loyal Leaguers Shannon C. and Josh Q. Lowry showed up first, followed quickly by John and Julie B. (married just this spring). Jason arrived in short order with Cassidy the three-legged dog in tow. Completing the massing, Peabo arrived with his long-suffering wife and utterly confused sister-in-law (who is in our fair nation studying up on her English).

I tried to catch up with as many folks as possible, but it was a bit of physical challenge, given how I hadn't seen most of the folks represented in many months. Nonetheless, the company of all in attendance was appreciated. We staye dup too late and talked possibly too much.

Saturday we all finally got out of bed, showered, ate and hit the road for BMT.

As Loyal Leaguers will be able to tell you, Jim D. is involved with the Board of Directors at Beaumont's historical Jefferson Theater. He's been involved with the Summer Film Series at the Jefferson, and, as such, had secured a print of the director's cut of the 1978 film masterpiece, Superman: The Movie.

With Steanso, Jamie and The League in one car, and Peabo, wife and sister-in-law in the other, we made it to BMT far later than originally planned. But that's the magic of trying to politely wrangle that many people, all of whom are there because they want to say hello to you, and all of whom have said they want to go along with your hare-brained scheme to see the Superman movie.

Well, something also got lost in the translation (literally) as Jeff explained to Adriana and Lucy that we were going to a Sneak Preview of "the new Superman movie." Jeff's not a "details" sort of guy, I suppose, and the change fo plans didn't bother him. Further, he'd promised a beach to Adriana and Lucy, but a beach was not to be had. Alas.

Anyhoo, our merry troop met up with Jim D. and RHPT.com at Carlo's Ristorante in Beaumont, and for the first time, I met RHPT.

Firstly, Randy is exactly the same height I thought he'd be. No taller nor shorter. Nor larger nor smalled. His photographs pretty much tell the whole picture. What the photos can't convey is that Randy's a very nice, sharp guy with an odd tale to tell about a flood in his house.

We had a lovely lunch at Carlo's, then headed over to Jim's preferred comic shop, at which I found a few Superman comics which I snatched up immediately. One of which was the classic "Kryptonite No More" comic from back in the day, which I suspect was a bit underpriced.

From there we took a colorful tour of the back streets of BMT, trying to get around a train. I thought maybe Jim planned to kill us all and dump our bodies in the tall grass, but we eventually did located the Jefferson Theater.


The Stately Jefferson Theater


The Marquee announcing a line-up sure to make fanboys wet themselves

Let me state that The Jefferson easily rivals Austin's Paramount Theater in it's decor and venerable charm.

We entered the lobby to the sound of pipe-organ music, which Steanso pointed out was playing "YMCA". The Jefferson employs an organist, a wonderful gentleman we had opportunity to speak with, who also had music for Superman, which he had mastered.

I was disappointed only in that I don't live in BMT and will not be there in the next few weeks for the Wild West Series which he has promised to preceed with "The Magnificent Seven" and other great themes from some of my favorite movies.


There was a very nice man playing the organ, but, clearly, he was not playing when I went downstairs to get a picture.

We were also referred to a few pizza joints in town and told to ask for specific organists. So Jamie and I are actually going to go to Pipe Organ Pizza this weekend if Lou is playing. Should be fun.

Jim suggested we go to the balcony for the best view and to get a nice, old-timey theatrical experience, so we went upstairs and selected some seats.


Included in this shot are some of the pipes to the pipe organ. Plus an idea of how nice the interior is at the Jefferson. Shot, I might add, from the balcony.


Jamie demonstrates the proper enthusiasm for Superman: The Movie

The lights dimmed, we took our seats and the movie began.

Look, sometimes things happen nobody can control, and, people, it's not Jim's fault. But just as the Planet Krypton exploded into a radioactive mass, hurling kryptonite chunks to the far reaches of space, the projector died. Or, more accurately, the shutter broke on the projector.

The organist leapt back to his position and kids began dancing around the theater, some family stole our seats and Randy fell asleep, complaining of exhuastion.


Steanso eagerly awaits the next reel of the film.

But, as I say, sometimes things happen.

Sadly, the film could not be shown, and we all got refunds.


The League Assembles!
left to right, RHPT.com, Steanso, Lucy, Adriana, Peabo, Mrs. League

Jim had some business to take care of at the theater, so we abandoned him and took our ticket money and headed for Crockett Street where we holed up for the next few hours and drank beer and chatted.

All said, we had a really good time talking to Jim and meeting Randy. It was a heck of a lot of fun to actually see each other and not rely on comments sections and e-mail to communicate.

Jim has apologized, and it's totally unnecessary. He's a champ for getting the film in the first place, and we all apprecaite the work he did. Sometimes technical glitches happen.

Anyhoo, we were SUPPOSED to fly out Sunday morning, but Jamie wasn't feeling well at all, so we delayed and flew out today instead.

So, long story short, I spent Sunday chilling out with my mom.

Anyway, thanks again to all Loyal Leaguers who could participate, and special thanks to Jim for making the whole thing possible. You're #1 in my book.


Why city authorities have requested Superman just fly over intersections instead of pressing the button and waiting for the cross-walk.

On the road... again.

The League is off for the trip to Spring/ Beaumont.

If you want to catch up with The League, I'll check e-mail routinely. Send e-mail to melbotis or myself. I'll be happy to send along my cell # to identifiable Loyal Leaguers.

Up, up and AWAY!!!!

James Doohan Passes Away

When I was a kid, KBVO showed Star Trek in the late afternoon. I was fascinated with the complex stories, crazy concepts, melodrama and the endless rainbow of alien women Kirk picked up in his voyages across the stars. (But why not pick up Uhura? She was smart, sassy, always cool and collected, and Star Fleet uniforms require female officers to have nice legs... The League suspects that Kirk fears commitment)

But I didn't idolize Kirk. McCoy was too much of a cranky space doctor, and Spock... Spock was sort of too cool and distant to really want to idolize.

Now, Scotty. Scotty got to take over the ship whenever the big kids went planetside, he was usually safely out of harm's way, and he ran his own shop down there with his dilithium crystals. Sure, the Captain could yell at you that he needed more power, but he didn't know how to get that power, did he? No. Scotty did, so how could he even really check up on you without admitting defeat and having to send that freak, Spock? Also, Scotty would duck out of engineering anytime he felt like it to go beaming people up and down from planetside.

Yup, I thought Scotty was all right. And while I was fully aware I lacked the capacity to be an engineer, I did learn that being in a position of power with absolutely no resposibility tied to it can be a glorious thing.

In the Star Trek movies Scotty was used both as a Deus Ex Machina and as comedic relief, and James Doohan finally got the praise he deserved. He also appeared in Satr Trek: The Next Generation as Scotty.

Sadly, Jimmy Doohan passed away today.

He will be fondly remembered at The League.

THE LEAGUE GOES TO HOUSTON, BEAUMONT
JOIN THE LEAGUE AT A SCREENING OF SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE

Hey, The League is headed to meet up with RHPT.com, Jim D., Steanso and a cast of thousands for a screening of Superman: The Movie.

Friday we're in Houston (Spring), and Saturday we're all headed for the BMT, and you should be, too.

We'll be at the Jefferson Theater around 3:15 - 3:30pm on Saturday for the screening of Superman: The Movie. The show starts at 3:45.

For details and the Jefferson Theater website, click here.

Afterward, we plan to hang about in Beaumont and have a drinky drink somewhere near the theater.

Want to be a part of the action?

Well, try showing up, and then locating the two lumbering giants with the very pale girl, and you'e just found The Family Steans.

It is The League's sincere hope that, plied with enough booze, Steanso will be convinced to reenact the famous "railway" sequence from the film.

If you want to try to meet up, e-mail me by clicking the image of the Justice League up in the top left corner of the site.

Comic Artist Jim Aparo dies at age 72.

Go here to read The Beat's coverage.

Jim Aparo was a penciller and artist on Batman and Detective Comics when I was first getting into the Batman books. To this day I still consider Aparo and Norm Breyfogle to be the guys I associate most with Batman comic art. Frames from Aparo's "Death in the Family" series are still locked in my mind as seminal Batman images.



One bit of trivia: DC has a map of Gotham somewhere in their offices that they use for consistency between writers as Batman and Co. make their way across town. So beloved was Aparo as a Batman artist that, like a few other Bat-artists before him, Aparo has a few landmarks in the fictional Gotham City officially named after him. The Aparo Expressway and Aparo Park will link his name with Batman for years and years to come. It's a small honor, but will help future readers learn more about the craftsmen who helped shape their favorite characters.

Thanks, Jim, for everything.

You can read more about Jim Aparo here.

For those of you who doubt that it is officially hot as a bastard out here in Phoenix, I suggest you read this article.

From the files of What the @#$%?

MECO visits The League

So, on December 2nd 2004, The League posted regarding the League's favorite Christmas album, cult holiday classic, Christmas in the Stars.

Anyhow, today Randy suggested I track down a certain perpetrator of ill-will toward Mother League, and a single name caught my eye.

meco

For some bizarre-o reason known only to HaloScan, it doesn't indicate that I have any comments on this post, but the post is actually rife with comments. Not the least of which is a comment from 70's and 80's pop superstar Meco, producer of Christmas in the Stars and Star Wars Disco.

Meco had this to say:

I am the producer of the Star Wars Christmas album. In answer to two of your questions - That is really John Bon Giovi singing. He was 17 at the time and is the cousin of my producing partner, Tony Bongiovi. I ausitioned several people to sing that song, and finally settled on John. That really is Anthony Daniels who flew into New York for one week to sing - or should I say speak - his parts. After my success with the dance versions of Star wars and The Empire Strikes Back, I worked very closely with George Lucas, who approved every song and lyric before I recorded it. After it was finished, George read the credits and had his secretary call me to ask if "Concept by Meco Monardo" - could be changed to - "Concept by George Lucas and Meco Monardo". The record compnay had already pressed 150,000 copies but agreed to make that change in the next pressing. Unfortunately, the record company, RSO Records, went out of business in November of 1980. Their number one group, The Bee Gees were going to sue them for back royalties.

Can you believe it? MECO HAS BEEN TO THE LEAGUE. It's a little like looking into the face of a bajillion stars. Only I still have my corneas and my skin dodn't burn off.

Meco must have been doing a little Googling when he found The League as he posted this in May, several months after the initial posting. And, as such, I almost didn't notice.

In a way, I now have to thank the person who said awful things in place of my mother, because without them, I never would have known Meco Monardo, or someone pretending to be Meco, had stopped on by at The League.

Part of why this is so odd is that the Meco Star Wars record was one of the first records I ever owned, right after Disco Duck and maybe the Grease soundtrack.

Man, this is weird. Wish I'd seen the post earlier.

For the weblink left by Meco, click here.

The League Looks to Brand Itself

Soooo...

I was up to no good last night and I noticed... it's exceedingly easy to go onto CafePress.com and set up a shop.

Now, I like to think it'll be a sweatshop of some sort with lots of little children toiling away in sub-Saharan heat, but thats MY dream.

The question I put to you is this: Is it worth my time and effort to go and set up a design or two for official League of Melbotis merchandise? Items would include t-shirts, caps and possibly coffee mugs.

Now, the nice thing about CafePress is that once the design is in, that's it. You'd order the shirt and, voila! You got a shirt in the mail in a few days. I know the ranks of The League are too small for me to even dream of trying to make money doing this, so I wouldn't add on any profit to the cost of the shirt. That should help keep costs down a bit.

If you think you'd be interested, post to the comments section.

For those of you wondering why my Charlie and the Chocolate Factory review was, ahem, brief...

I was actually trying to get a review completed for Comic Candy.

The review is full of grammatical errors, but I invite you to go check it out.

Review of All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder

I've asked Jamie to review Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I will be reviewing the massive acne breakout I've suffered since going on my chocolate splurge.

Letters to Melbotis:

Hey,

So when does Lucy get to join the league?

Dad


Hello, Dad,

Melbotis very, very excited to hear from Admiral. Admiral is nice man who often have towel for Mel.

Unless this letter from Mel's dad. Which would be AMAZING. If so, Hello, Daddy. Mel never met you, but Mel suspect you were also a big boy. Mel is very happy to hear from you and hope you are having good life, but why you never write before? Perhaps you joined evil Empire like Darth Vader? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....

Mel not ready to burn you on funeral pyre while teddy bears have party.

Anyhow, Lucy is very annoying, but chubby couch man say Lucy must stay. Sometime pale lady not so sure, but chubby couch man insist. Anyway, Mel mostly only figurehead at League and does not make much policy. BUT, last Mel heard, Lucy have Junior Membership in League, but not expected to perform duties of full-fledged members.

Mostly, Lucy run around and eat grass, chew on Mel's head and take away toys Mel want to play with. She live in box at night and during hot part of day. Chubby man explain this is "C.S.Tuh." Mel not understand.

Anyway, Daddy, Mel hope you are happy dog, and hope you know Mel is good boy and have own website. Hooray!

-Mel

THE LEAGUE REVIEWS:

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY


20 minutes into the movie, I thought that if someone didn't get me a @#$%ing chocolate bar, I was going to chew somebody's arm off.

The End

Trapped in the Closet, The League bears witness

So...

Remember the dude who teamed with Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes gang to teach a whole generation he could fly (or was it them? I can't recall...)? Just who was that man singing that inspirationally treacly tune?

R.Kelly. That's who. The film: Space Jam. Yeah, I saw it. Shut up.

R.Kelly then used the launchpad of his success with Taz and Co. to do two things:

1) create a series of videos which were operatic in nature, belying the over-produced goofiness of R.Kelly's substandard R&B stylings.

2) get charged with 21 counts of child pornography.

For the past few years, it's been the latter of R.Kelly's two achievements that has really been grabbing headlines.

Well, good news for music lovers. R.Kelly is back! And this time he's come with an astounding creative vision, an operatic saga of Wagnerian proportions. Crossing the span of five songs and five music videos, R. Kelly's opus is curiously dubbed "Trapped in the Closet".

Yes, "Trapped in the Closet." R.Kelly's not afraid of ducking the big social issues. Like picking up chicks at bars and then having to hide from their husbands in, you guessed it, the closet.

This sort of stuff more or less makes up the entirety of the 5-song cycle.

Now I know all of you want to dash off to watch all the videos, but maybe you don't have 20-25 minutes to dedicate today to R. Kelly? Well, The League is here to assist.

Remember how in the summer you'd get a job and you'd be working with people you just don't know in the slightest, and then in Day 2, they decide to start unloading all of their Jerry Springer personal lives on you? And you begin to formulate a theory that this person seems to have designed their model for proper behavior between human beings by watching endless hours of Melrose Place and The O.C.?

And despite the fact they're managing to bore you AND make you uncomfortable with their stories, you can't manage to just shush them. After all:

1) Your mama raised you to be polite and listen
2) You figure that if they're telling you, it must be very important and maybe they've decided you're the only person they can talk to (until you realize every single person around knows the entire story by heart by now)
3) You figure if they're bothering to tell you this incredibly convoluted story with a half dozen characters and an obvious chain of incredibly poor choices on the part of the narrator, my GOD, there's got to be a point...

And then the person finishes the story and asks you what you what you think, and you're left standing there wondering, since their story has made you seriously consider the legitimacy of mandatory sterilization for the very first time, that maybe you're a closet fascist.

Well, that's R. Kelly. R.Kelly is the moron who sat in front of me that bleak summer at North Harris Community College who couldn't pass any exams whatsoever. R.Kelly is the twit who took up my coffee break three consecutive days at Chuck E. Cheese. R. Kelly is the flake I sat next to at defensive driving. R. Kelly is the angrily irresponsible boob Real World casting agents salivate over.

What does the song cycle accomplish?

The sheer scope of the project screams "epic", and you can almost feel it. This is IT. This is R.Kelly's big artistic moment, his chance to prove he's not just a guy who takes pictures of underage girls. He's a serious artist with a big picture of the world that he simply must share or he might explode.

And, apparently, he's a guy who doesn't think it's weird that he doesn't need to come home to his wife at night, and that he will cheat on his wife after a drink or two. We also learn that he's a serious artist who doesn't wear protection (nor even shower) after finding out about the wild world of sexual intrigue he's just foisted upon himself.

Re: the title

I don't want to give anything away. Someone in this tale is, in fact, gay... Is it R.Kelly? Well, the title would suggest exactly that. But, in a completely unsurprising display demonstrating a total lack of subtely on R.Kelly's part, R.Kelly as narrator is not revealed to be gay. He's actually trapped in the literal closet.

It is another character who disappears after Song 3 that is figuratively "in the closet". And while Figure #3 is important, he's not really central enough to make you think he should really be grabbing the title.

The whole enterprise sort of leaves you wondering. Is R.Kelly that naive to think that the title wouldn't raise a few eyebrows, or were the extra two parts of the song just R. covering his tracks? The world may never know...

Now, for no particular reason a gun enters late in Track #1, adding both an alarming insight into R.Kelly's first line of defense in a confrontation and a lot of awkward and pointless gun waving during the interminable Track #2.

Musically, all 5 tracks are the same indistinguishable mass of steady beats and audio loops. What's supposed to be carrying all five tracks, in theory, is R.Kelly's vocal. There is a sort of rhyme and meter, but the entire thing feels more like R.Kelly made up as kooky of a story as he could while floating in the tub and then added a few loops behind it.

Still, you doubt The League? Here are some of my favorite lyrics.

Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some bull...as he gave me the ticket

Tellin' it like it is. Reportin' from the streets. It's R.Kelly. For all the lyrics, click here.

The truth is, this actually reads about 10 times better than it actually sounds.

Leaguers, I simply CANNOT RECOMMEND "TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET" ENOUGH. It's a rare thing when one sees a project so obviously important to an artist, a project so near and dear to an artist's heart that they want to say, "THIS IS IT! THIS IS THE ONE THEY'LL REMEMBER ME FOR!" And it is rare that such a labor of love is such a complete trainwreck of misery and crapola completely exposing the artist for the hacky schmuck he really is.

To watch the entire epic, click here.

I have no idea what TP.3 means. Maybe it's slang for "The law requires that I inform you that I am living in your neighborhood."

TTSNB, San Diego ComicCon Part 1

It's San Diego ComicCon time again, and that means it's time for a whirlwind edition of TTSNB.

As always, The League is just leeching off the good work done by the folks at Action-Figure.com.

The San Diego ComicCon has become a real launchpad for new toy lines and showcasing new product from existing toy lines aimed at collectors. So not all toys in this edition of TTSNB are necessarily TTSNB. There are also toys The League finds to be of interest.

DC Direct usually just makes DC Comics related merchandise, but recently decided to add items to thier line which include other WB properties. Not the least of which is the popular Looney Tunes characters. The League tittered like a little girl at seeing the new Looney Tunes Golden Age collection.

You can have your action heroes and I can have mine. Johnny Cash gets his own action figure from SOTA TOys. I can't wait to see the battles between Johnny and Megatron.

Do the chickens have large talons? Now you can decide! Set up Cage Fighting matches between Napolean and Kip. Make up your own election speeches for Pedro! Envision your own, unique dance for Napolean! All your wildest dreams will come true with these collectible figures from Napolean Dynamite.

Personally, I wanted a Debbie figure with her handcart loaded with plastic crates.

Vote for Pedro.

Did you enjoy seminal 80's action film "Die Hard"? The League did. Coming soon, the folks at Palisades Toys will be bringing you adorable likenesses of our friends Hands, John, and Argyle. But, curiously, no Al.

The League is so far most excited about a new line of DC COmics toys from Mattel which appear to tie in with the Batman line The League has been so fond of (anyone remember The League welcoming Killer Croc home?).

While The League is puzzled over the Batcentric nature of the toys, The League suspects Mattel had some Bat-TOys all ready to go when they decided to go to a DC line instead of a strictly Bat-Centric line. We're hoping we see a Wonder Woman and J'onn J'onzz in pretty short order. But we do have a new Bizarro, and that ain't all bad.

This may also explain why DC Direct is now moving into creating non-DC Comics related figures.

update: I forgot the link to the new DC figures.

Reed T. Shaw, Captain of the starship "Winaprize", and proud father of QuickDraw McShaw has popped up in the old e-mail box.

Reed-o has some interesting links to share.

On the subject of Lance Armstrong, go here.

and here.

For race updates, here.

And, hinting The League and Mrs. League might do well to look into the sport, Reed sends along a story about The World Wife Carrying Championship.

You can read here and here.

Being of the Finnish persuasion, i wonder if I wouldn't have a genetic disposition for toting around wives. Especially my own.

Hey, all.

Quick Suggestions for Further Reading:

All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder is coming out today. Run, do not walk, to your local comic shop. Get it while the getting is good.

Written by Frank Miller
Pencils by Jim Lee



Click here for the previous SFFR to read up on Age of Bronze Vol. 1.