How do, Leagueadeers?

This weekend was pretty dull, although yesterday Chandler, Arizona managed to be the hottest spot in the country. I, of course, managed to be out doing yard work. After the temp passes 108 F, it's all pretty much just really, really hot. 117 or 109... it doesn't really matter.

It's time for me to enroll for my benefits package again, and I always wonder if I have enough life insurance. I don't want too much, so that it's worth more to Jamie to have me dead than alive, but I also don't want her to be bankrupt if I accidentally OD on Diet Pepsi or Coffeemate. At any rate, I asked her what she would do if I upped and died. "I'd probably move to San Francisco or Austin," she said. "What would you do?"

"I'd move to Austin."

And then it dawned on me... no, not that in order for me to get back to Austin, Jamie might have to have a little "accident". No, it dawned on me that for some reason, if we're both alive, we somehow think it's a good idea to be in a smelly desert. Alone, the idea is intolerable. Well, I think that says a lot for how much we can put up with when together, but it also made me realize that ain't neither one of us is particularly excited about being in the smelly desert. I'm not sure it should take one of us keeling over to return to the Lone Star State.

So, you know, if you know of any jobs in A-Town, let your glorious leader in on it.

We took Mel to meet Tanner the Wonder Dog on Saturday. Mel isn't very socialized around other dogs, and Tanner is a great dog, if not a bit of a spaz. Tanner is a 1 year old Golden who belongs to Jamie's cube neighbor, Ryan N. Anyhoo, I was very proud of Mel as he never ate Tanner and was on his best behavior while visiting Tricia and Ryan's house. He did, however, steal all of Tanner's toys and claim them as his own. It was embarassing, but I'm not sure Mel understands issues of property.

What Mel DOES understand is bathtime. He's not even really anti-bathtime. When he sees me pull out the towels and point at the tub, he will climb right in. This is much favorable to the afternoon I once spent chasing Mel around the front yard with hose in hand.

One night, just before I moved here, Mel must have decided he was really dirty, because at 3:00am he climbed into the bathtub and started whining. So next you know I was sudding up the dog and pushing sleep out of my eyes. It didn't really seem that odd until I related the story later. Jamie was out of town when it occured, so I have nobody to verify the story, but it did happen. I have had bath guilt ever since and try to be better about the frequency of Mel's baths.

Someone hit the League today by doing a Google search for "Ryan Steans." What's the deal? Who is this person? And will they send me money?

There is a difference between Trade Paperbacks and Graphic Novels. Graphic Novels are usually released as self contained stories in a single volume. Trade Paperbacks are usually stories lifted from a running series, like Spider-Man issues 165-175 or something. The gray area is when you begin speaking about collections which contain a story which existed as, say, a six issue limited series. This can include either totally original characters, or it can include, say... Batman.

THe point is, Randy asked me to recommend some comics yesterday, and then last night, Jim asked me to recommend some comics. As I am short on time today, I will reprint here that which I sent Jim last night, because it's a quick guide for what you might wish to look for if you were to go to a book store or to a comic shop.

I'm going to just suggest Graphic Novels and self-contained limited series trade paperbacks. I don't want to just dump you into the world of regular Trade Paperbacks.

Dark Knight Returns is on the "must read" list, but be prepared for something.. different. I'm not sure you'll like all of it, but I think it's critical. We'll save Dark Knight Strikes Again for a later discussion.

Maus by Art Spiegelman is a must read. No, it is not really an allegory, because that's what you're going to think at first glance. It is not Animal Farm. This is a true story. It won the Pulitzer. It is used as a textbook. It's really, really good. Especially if you manage to get both volumes.

From Hell by Alan Moore is what the recent Jack the Ripper movie was based upon.
Torso by Brian Michael Bendis is a true crime tale following Eliot Ness as he moves to Cleveland and must sort out the identity of a Depression era serial killer.
Ronin by Frank Miller is a psychedelic sci-fi Samurai story which defies description.
Elektra: Assassin by Frank Miller will let you know why I was so angry with the Daredevil movie.
Moonshadow is a coming of age tale set amongst the cosmos
V for Vendetta by Alan Moore may make you wish to make like Guy Fawkes
Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware is supposed to be great. I bought it a few weeks ago and haven't had time to read it yet.
Sandman: A Season of Mists by Neil Gaiman breaks the rules stated above, but is, nonetheless, an excellent comic. I think you can follow the story with little introduction

Essential Superhero books:
Kingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex Ross will restore your faith in Superheroes
Batman: Year One - Frank Miller
Superman: Man of Steel - John Byrne (note- It appears the powers that be at DC comics are re-writing the history of Superman as dictated by Man of Steel in Superman: Birthright. More on this in the months to come. BTW, I love what they're doing)
Ultimates by Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch
Ultimate Spider-Man by Bendis
for sheer weird factor, I like Jack Kirby's TPBs of New Gods and Mister Miracle. but it's an acquired taste

And if you're looking for a book without pictures, I would point you to The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon. It won the Pulitzer, I think.

But let me know if you're looking for something fun, or something "important", and maybe I can help. But if you were going to read one or two graphic novels, these would be the ones I would begin with. We can work backward from here.

So I was talking to Randy, and he says, "You should get an optical mouse instead of a ball-roller." So I hopped up and stole one off of the desk of one of my student workers. I am now so futuristic, I'm not even here yet. Thanks, Randy.

And congratulations on the new job. You and Jim can be new job buddies, and that's something in this wintery economy.

THis article on Urban Legends in Iraq is interesting.

I just cleaned my mouse, and it works much, much better. You would not believe the crap which had built up in there.

Hurray for Gary Coleman, who has also tipped his hat to run for the Governorship of California.

No new news of obesity today, I am sorry to say, but I think I made my point. I will resume obesity reports as events warrant.

For those of you who might pick up a monthly comic, the new Batman/ Superman comic (or Superman/ Batman... there's no title, just an emblem) got off to a great start. The art is the best Ed McGuinness I've ever seen (and if you ask Jamie, I assure you she can confirm that I like Ed McG's Superman work), and the story seems fairly interesting. I know comic people criticize Superman and Batman as "same old, same old", but I still dig this stuff, especially when the quality is this good.

Anyway, Mel keeps doing this weird thing on our walks where he alternately accelerates and slows down and looks at me. I've been walking him for three years, and this is a new development. I asked him what the story is, but he just sped off. Today he was FOCUSED when we went on our walk and would not jump off the sidewalk in time and got tagged by a sprinkler. I think he blamed me, but I was trying to help him. The good news is, we are both in slightly better shape for our recent ritual of morning walkies, and I plan to extend our path in the next week or two.

Hey, kids. Quick Update. Jerry Springer has decided not to run for Senator from Ohio. I am sad to hear this. We need more folks in the Senate who are likely to conclude each session with a Final Thought. But on the plus side, with Jerry sticking to daytime TV, there will still be an outlet in American television where you know, weekday after weekday, you will be even more disappointed in humanity than by watching Hollywood Squares.

Arianna Huffington is running for Governor. I support this. She has very nice hair.

Thanks to Randy for the News tip!