Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Okay...

The League's brother has sent in a true tale of Halloween horror that might.... just might... be enough to keep you from sleeping at night. And it doesn't involve the time he wet himself in 10th grade.

BUT.... all I've got are two stories. Two! Surely The League's readership has surpassed two.... but maybe not.

Here's a gruesome tale for your pre-Halloween fun. After not having been to the gym in untold weeks, inspired by RHPT.com, I returned last night. Holy crap, is it easy to get out of shape quickly.
Is the cute criminal chick from ABC's Lost the new Lois Lane?

The League throws its support behind this casting decision. It is much better than many of the names which have tossed about in the past two years.


Lost's Evangeline Lilly

Thanks to Maxwell for drawing this uneasy comparison


Sesame Street's genial gameshow host, Guy Smiley


Massachusetts' genial senator, John Kerry

Monday, October 18, 2004

BRITNEY WATCH!!!!


I've actually learned to say "NO!" With this newly found freedom, its like people don't know how to act around me. Should we talk to her like we did when she was 16 or like the Icon everyone says she is?

hell, yes.

Read the letter here, ya'll.

Ms Federline is now officially biting the hand which feeds her, and her wilting self-doubt barely taps the unchecked insanity which she has been force fed since 1999.

Unintentionally turning on her fanbase, and the entertainment pseudo-press in one poorly structured sentence, Ms Federline had this to say: My prerogative right now is to just chill and let all the other overexposed blondes on the cover of Us Weekly (magazine) be your entertainment.

Her prerogative? And, yes... she did, in fact, just cover the late 80's Bobby Brown hit. Will she see the path Whitney and Bobby took as an admirable one, or the Scarface-like ridiculousness it has become?

A note to Mr. Federline:

Dear Mr. Federline,

Will you please quit teasing us? Please cut to the chase and ask Britney to cut off all contact with her family. We all know this will happen, and we do not have even 4 months to wait for it. Please expedite this step so that we can reach your ugly divorce as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

The League of Melbotis



Britney continues her own letter, appealing to, I guess, Hilary Duff: It's amazing what advisors will push you to do, even if it means taking a naive, young, blonde girl & putting her on the cover of every magazine.

Clearly Ms. Federline has visited the Wallace Theater by my house, which is little more than a temple to Duff.

The League wishes Ms. Federline an enjoyable vacation, and expects that, when done chillin', her legion of 12 year-old fans will have placed themselves in carbon freeze so as to ensure they do not move on to the next blonde pop sensation, nor shall they emotionally or intellectually develop to a point where they may not enjoy Ms. Federline's musical stylings.

I leave you with this bit of theological insight from Ms. Federline, whose wisdom knows no bounds... Truly, He works in mysterious ways.

I know now that my knee gave out on me this past summer so that I would have no choice but to stop. My body was shutting down and needed rest. It's funny how the Man upstairs works. Right now, I have to go-- I really want to watch "Saved" with Mandy Moore and re-runs of "Sex and the City."
MUUUUUWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA



John Kerry... madman or genius?
Hey!

Is this guy the superhero who is going to fill Christopher Reeve's red boots?

We have no opinion on this guy here at The League, but every word we hear about Singer's take on the new Superman movie makes us more excited. It sounds like a genuine continuation fo the Reeve-starring Superman films, complete with a crystal-based Krypton and Fortress of Solitude.

I wouldn't start putting hard money down on this guy getting the role. After all, dozens of names have been floated. But if this guy IS the selection... well, fine. Looking forward to hearing more details.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Slow weekend here at League HQ. Movie watching, etc... was the word of the day.

Spent Friday night remembering Christopher Reeve with a memorial viewing of Superman. It may be the 50th time I've seen that movie, but I can watch it from beginning to end every time. Even the "Can you read my mind..?" section in the middle.

I did take time out to see Team America on Saturday, but I'm not going to bother to review a movie which is already being reviewed so much in so many places that, honestly, I knew too much about the movie going in. As much as I DID laugh, I think I would have laughed harder if I hadn't been told so many of the punchlines ahead of time. Stupid reviews.

I did feel lonely... so lonely... in the theater, as I am not entirely certain the other folks in the theater were enjoying the movie. Specifically, the group of high school boys sitting behind us. I'm not sure if they 1) understood the political context of some of the jokes, or 2) the trappings of action movies which Team America was having fun with. I mean, yes, some small bits of this movie do require you to know who folks like Hans Blix are. Its not all just funny puppet sex.

Well, Jamie and I thought the movie was funny. And we have been singing the Team America theme song around the house (America, F**k Yeah!). It's that kind of movie. And, by jiminy, I'll be picking up the soundtrack.

I also watched The Bourne Identity this evening, which was okay. Matt Damon (MATT DAMON!!!!) is pretty good. And that girl (German-fake-Claire Danes) was okay. And I always like Chris Cooper, and should try to find Matewan on DVD sometime. I'm actually very curious to see the sequel, The Bourne Supremacy.

Altough I don't exactly recall seeing this exact movie plot before, the beats were that of a by-the-numbers actioner, and there was something complete ridiculous about the romantic subplot. I will say, the flick did leave some interesting questions in the air at the end, so I'd like to see how they resume the storyline in Part Deux.

And you know who is a powerfully mediocre actor in The Bourne Identity? Julia Styles. Man, there were chairs with more presence in that flick.

After a two month delay, I finally finished The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt, of which I figured out I had only fifty pages left to go (the rest being notes and appendices). I have Theodore Rex on tap, but I think I'll wait a little while. I need to read some fiction which is not comic book related.

And I watched a documentary on the 1931 version of Dracula, as well as the 1931 version of Dracula with the audio commentary overlaid. Both were terrific. I love my Universal Monster movies box sets. I need to read Dracula as I've never read it. Maybe that's my next book. I'll see if I can find a cheap hardcover at Barnes and Noble. They always have junk like that out at Christmas.

Anyway, after weeks and week away, I've been inspired by RHPT to return to the gym. That, and I want to be able to crush those who oppose me when I go to Oklahoma for Christmas.