Merry Christmas from The League of Melbotis

The entire cast and crew from League HQ wishes you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or however you want to celebrate this season. We're shutting down here this evening, but we won't be out of touch. Don't hesitate to call or e-mail to get the latest details of what Melbotis, himself, is up to.

Travel safe. Be good. Be good to one another.

I've made my Christmas list:

• Peace for myself and my family.
• Peace for the world and a little understanding.
• A bit of joy and happiness.
• Strength to do the right thing.
• Wisdom to know what the right thing might be.
• Hope for a better tomorrow.
• And time. Time enough to let those I love know what they mean to me.

Merry Christmas, Leaguers. I don't thank all of you enough.

and Merry Christmas, Jamie. Next year will be better. I love you, sweetie.

I think I failed to mention this, but since it's come up once already today...

Jamie and I will not be in Houston or in Texas over Christmas. We are staying in Arizona. Lucy is at a critical juncture in her flight training, and it would be remiss of us to take her out of pilot school for even a few days.

Steanso will be coming into town on the 23rd, so we won't be totally abandoned out here.

If you were planning to try to get in touch, sorry about that. Hope you can somehow struggle through the Holidays without The League's own personal brand of Holiday cheer.

Love,

The League

JIM D IS 30



Did you know it's Jim D's birthday?

Jim is now an ancient, creaky 30 years old. He has no longer allowed to be an angry young man. If this were 1850, Jim would expect to live about another 5-10 years.

Happy 30th, Jim.


Supergirl is here to make Jim feel young again.

The folks are in town for a few days for a pre-Christmas Christmas visit.

Things are a little goofy this year as Jamie's ever-fluctuating health has meant we declined to travel to Houston for this year's Christmas fun. Well, my grandparents had already booked their trip to Houston, and my parents wanted to see both fun ends of the generation spectrum. Hence, my folks are here this weekend.

For you Loyal Leaguers, this means reduced blogging going into Christmas. Which, given participation of late, probably won't be a big deal (hey, it's the Holidays. I know you kids are busy).

Just when I thought Nanostalgia.com was on life support (Jim D. and Randy had been MIA), Steven G. Harms picked an hilarious fight with a reviewer from "The Stranger", and apparently got her irritated enough to respond in full in the comments section. Steven G. Harms, I bow before you once again.

I made some fairly immature comments in the comments section, too, but I'm not on my usual computer where I bookmarked my log-in to Nanostalgia, so you can read my $0.02 on the issue which was not very well self-edited. Most likely, I would have preferred to have not posted my second comment at all. The first one was sufficient.

Ah, well. I'm a jack ass. This is not news.

We sort of had Christmas today. Woke up, ate Jamie's once-a-year Roll Wreath (ambrosia, Leaguers. If anything every demanded a recipe posted, it's Judy McB's Christmas Roll Wreath), some bacon and had some coffee. Showered, went to church (got lost on way to the church), grabbed lunch, fell asleep for a long time, woke up, played with dogs, opened Christmas presents, played with dogs, ate a delicious Christmas dinner, did dishes, watched "It's a Wonderful Life."

At this point, December 25th is sort of moot. I did my Christmas. It was very nice. Anything Steanso brings to the table during Christmas visit next week will be lesser and a bit of a let down. We'll do Channukah instead, just to mix it up.

Oh, man. I think the cat just farted on me. Ewww.

Anyway, ya'll have a good one this week. Safe traveling. Safe shopping. Safe everything.

(Oh, and here is my secret message to all my fellow revolutionaries in The War on Christmas: The Fat Man is in the Sleigh. I repeat: The Fat Man is in the Sleigh.)

Buwahhhhh-HA HA HA HA HA HA

IT'S A VERY CHEWY CHRISTMAS

You know, somehow Christmas and Wookies keep intersecting here at The League.

Longtime Leaguer Peabo sends along this Christmas entertainment that's fun and safe for the whole family. No seriously. My co-workers enjoyed this, too.

Crank up your speakers, especially if you're at work.

Dear Iraq,

Best of luck on your upcoming elections.

I don't pretend to try to understand the vast social issues and religious/ ethnic issues that seem to make-up most news about Iraq. I am not sure how the whole thing is going to play out, but I'm also a glass-half-empty kind of guy.

Let me give you some friendly hints from your Ol' Uncle League on living in a quasi-democracy.

I've decided to make this a print out so you can clip and put in your pocket as a quick study guide while getting ready to vote.

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THE LEAGUE'S GUIDE TO ENDURING THE JOYS OF DEMOCRACY

1) Your candidate will probably lose. Especially in a plural-party society, which is what I think you guys have. Yes, this is frustrating as hell, but as a registered Democrat in AZ and formerly in Texas, I can assure you that you soon learn that the feelings of despair will go away. Do not pick up a gun to remove all opposition. This will not lead to more elections which will go your way.

Try liquor instead.

2) You will stand in a curiously slow moving line for a great deal of time. Yes, old people in front of you will seem not to actually know what they are voting for and you will hear some lady brightly declare whom she is voting for and why, which will reveal the fact that she has completely misinterpted or confused what she heard on the radio during the Wacky Morning Wake-Up Show's 1 minute of news between the Brangelina update and a Paris Hilton fart joke. Yes, she still gets to vote. Do not get discouraged. Do not pick up a gun to try to shorten the line. This will not lead to a speedier voting process.

Try liquor instead.

3) The winning candidates will assume God wanted them to win and suggest that God does not like your candidate (ie: You). Do not pick up a gun to try ot convince them otherwise. This will not lead to God liking your candidate (ie: You) more.

Try liquor instead. Or prayer. Maybe they pray better than you. You call that piety? My grandma's more pious than your infidelic ass. Shit.

4) An oddity of the democratic process is that sometimes really stupid things which appeal to people but which aren't actually a good idea in the long term will win the ballot. Do not pick up a gun to try to change the situation. This will not lead to you getting light-rail in your area.

I would suggest liquor, but that won't get you to work any more efficiently. Perhaps coffee?

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That's my guide to democracy. I don't know what it's actually like to have your opinions carried by your representative or for a candidate you selected (unless you count the time I voted in the Blockbuster Movie Awards), but something like 1-in-5 of you will experience a shred of that joy. I'm heard it's joyous. I still don't really know.

Oh, and no matter how much it seems to make sense at the time, do not vote for Ralph Nader. You will spend years (yes, YEARS) wishing you hadn't decided that you'd chosen that particular moment in the booth as your chance to take a pot-shot at the two-party system.

Again, if you do vote for Nader, liquor helps. And maybe a gun. That's still up in the air.

Love,

Your Uncle League

PS: Pro-wrestlers and actors make suspiciously likable candidates but get mixed results in their actual jobs once elected.