Texas Secede!!!

Now there's a terrible idea.

I still don't think anyone honestly believes Perry is serious about this stuff, so I don't know why everyone is up in arms about the fact he made a joke that reflects Texas bumper sticker humor. Aside from the fact that you guys outside of Texas are all a little bit afraid of us. Which is awesome. Because you should be.

Legend has it, Texas legally has the right to do two wacky things as defined by the agreements under which Texas entered the Union.

1) We can, Voltron-like, break into five states any time we like. Apparently the vast expanse of Texas seemed unweildy to the folks who annexed Texas, so that provision was pretty darn clear in the Annexation paperwork. It was also tied to the Missouri Compromise in ways that probably amde more sense to folks back then than to me, but... anyway. It was (and maybe still is) an option.

I say we get rid of Orange County and Vidor, if we have the option, but nobody listens to me.

2) Secede. From 1836 - 1845, Texas was its own, independent, yahoo-filled, broke down country. Sure, Mexico mostly just considered the Tejas part of Coahuila y Tejas a rogue state, but still part of Mexico until the US brought Texas into the US. This led to a little skirmish most Americans have never heard of called "The Mexican-American War", in which America wound up invading an already weakened Mexico (years of infighting did Mexico no favors), and wound up grabbing most of what you think of as the Western US from Mexico as a prize. So if you think the US doesn't do stuff like that, we absolutely do. We mostly do that @#$% all the time.

And if you don't think they didn't put the Texians out in front to try to get a little Alamo payback during that war, they sure did.

Its more of a question of international law than US law, and how Texas was annexed to the US that suggests that maybe Texas was never actually annexed, and we're all living on occupied Mexican soil. Which is sort of a moot point 160 years later. I'm sure some academic, somewhere, is very bent out of shape about all this.

Different people have different viewpoints on whether Texas could secede or not, based upon the paperwork, but as far as the average Texan on the street is concerned, the ratifcation of the Annexation of Texas gives Texas the right to take their ball and go, any time they want. It inflates our sense of superiority as a state, and, man... that's sort of what we're all about down here.

However, (a) this deal was null and void thanks to re-entering the Union after the Civil War, (b) the paperwork nowhere actually says "you guys can go any time you like", and is sort of a mix of cultural legend and skewed reading of the annexation papers, and (c) this actually came up in court about ten years ago, and... no, Texas can't secede.

The fact is that Texans can't and won't secede, so, CNN and US media... chill the hell out. Its just an old joke. And if anything is more ridiculous than Perry's fake claims for secession, its the fake outrage and agreements by fake newsmen and pundits with fake opinions on this fake topic.

And yet, America is abuzz. (Cue exaggerated eye roll)

While we would do better than, say, Wyoming, if we were on our own again, we're pretty darn tied into the US. And while there's always some blowhard (see: Rick "The Hair" Perry) talking about how if these Democrats keep doing X or Y, we could bail, its the sort of dimwitted bravado that Texans are known for and handily reinforces the notions folks have out of state about Texas.

What is utterly moronic is that people outside of Texas hear this stuff, don't know the culture of Texas, and begin making assumptions that Texans really want to secede, or that a critical mass is for this idea.

Rest of the World: I assure you, they are not serious. We are not going to secede. Not over this, anyway. We take our US Citizenship as seriously as anyone else (we went through a hell of a lot between 1836 and 1865 to get it sorted out, after all). But thanks for playing that card, media. And thanks, public, for eating it up.

Bear in mind, we've had more Presidents than pretty much any other state even with our short history of Statehood. We have 4th of July picnics. We serve in the military in hge numbers. And we put up with Oklahoma being so close by with a minimum of complaint. What else do you want as proof of loyalty?

What I'd love to see is Perry, if he really, really wants to be governor again, actually do some governing. The Texas Governor's job is honestly pretty cushy when some hobo isn't burning your mansion down. Rather than threatening secession, try to dream up a plan to stimulate the Texas and regional economy rather than crossing your arms and throwing a hissy fit that the federal government has to take drastic measures to keep up all from becoming Tom Joad. (You are aware that our banks suddenly have no money, yes? And that's bad? And maybe that happened under the watch of the dude who got you your current job?)

In short, real leaders actually DO SOMETHING about a problem (usually staying within the law). It takes creativity and know-how, which is something Perry actually managed to do once, when he set up the Gulf Coast hurricane planning that worked like gangbusters for recent storms like Ike. So, Rick may want to put his thinking cap back on and get his pals in The Zoo at the Capitol to actually do some good.

Real leaders do not behave like a sixteen year old slamming his door in his parents' face because they totally won't let him have an XBox, even though Dad lost his job and money is tight. (But they totally promised...!)

I've lacked respect for Perry by-and-large all along, but it may be time for the guy to either take some sort of leadership role or get out of the way.

Safely Back in Waterloo

I came back to town today and to work for a few hours. I took my co-worker home and met his entire family, which was kind of entertaining. You hear little snippets about your co-worker's home lives, and then there they are, including the little dog.

I walked away with a nice plant I can put in my front yard flower bed. I'm actually very excited because its a bit more of a local plant and less of a shrub than what we have planted there now. I kind of want to tear out what we have in those beds and put in some native flora.

As a follow up to yesterday, I slept like a log last night once moved. Good for me, bad for my reading of Moby Dick.

Was going to write about final episodes of Terminator series, but I'm tired and I don't think anyone of you actually watch the show.

apparently it was some coffee shop, not a bar. They host fund raising events. The world's nicest La Quinta employee moved me to a new room on, literally, the otehr side of the complex and all I can hear is the sound of trucks on the freeway and my air conditioner.

I should also mention they have free wireless, which the last Hyatt i stayed in did not.

If I catch any of you making fun of La Quinta, it will be pistols at dawn.

apparently my motel room is about 150 feet from some bar where I can look forward to singer/ songwriters actually starting to play at 10:00ish. Just when I thought I was turning in for the night.

It's going to be a long night.

And suddenly I have completely changed my stance on Austin's 70 db policy for outdoor musical venues.

TV Flashback

This post only sort of makes sense. I started looking at this "Bigfoot and Wildboy" intro clip and then posted a bunch of 70's and 80's era sci-fi stuff that I liked, but never really got much attention. This was back before I knew about TV ratings, separations between Prime Time TV and after school kid's stuff. Things like that.

Its kind of impressive what a practice in narrative economy these opening sequences are. You get the basic idea of what's happening, a funky 70's coke-fueled band, and a look at who you're going to see in the cast (and a surprising number of clips end with "John McCheese as Lt. Rodwhatsit". Why do we have to identify the cop's character, but nobody else?

Wonder Woman sort of does all this in song:



Got this clip at Calvin's Canadian Cave of Cool.

I can't imagine what the dudes were on who came up with this, but it must have been a bit stronger than Children's Advil.



Okay, let me rephrase that. I can maybe see coming up with the idea. It's almost as good as my idea for a show where FDR goes underground to run a crackerjack team of secret agents who refuse to play by the rules. But in the 1970's, dagnabbit, Bigfoot was in, but everybody knew our pal Sasquatch didn't talk. Hence: Wildboy. What I can't imagine is being the chain-smoking, chain-philandering, chain-cocktail-guzzling TV exec who looked at clips of this show and said "Bigfoot and Wildboy? That's TV GOLD, PEOPLE! AIR THAT SUCKER!!!!"

I do actually remember this show from the late 70's. But only very vaguely.

After shooting all day in the Southern California sun, that actor in the Bigfoot suit must have smelled like last week's Catch O The Day.

I also stumbled onto this on, and it blew my mind. I've asked dozens of people if they remember this show, and nobody ever knew what I was talking about.



They often thought I was talking about "The Power of Matthew Star". But, no, I was not. I was talking about "Phoenix". I don't think it ran even a whole season, or much of what it was about, but as a kid I remember thinking it was really cool and that Phoenix dude was weird.

Matthew Starr was a show about a cowardly space prince with questionable hair and Louis Gossett Jr.




Jason and I were also really into "Voyagers!" when we were kids. I remember that the Thomas Edison lightbulb episode blew my mind. Trivia. That boy is Punky Brewster's brother, and the adult accidentally died when he pointed a gun at his head with a blank in it and the concussive force killed him. That's why the show ended.



We were also into the briefly lived "Automan", even though we knew it was sort of a lame cop show with Tron-inspired FX.



I was also partial to "Manimal", which would have done much better had it come along about 10 years later when someone invented a piece of software that would blend two photos together. The dude could turn into a falcon and a panther and stuff, and when he was a human, he was rich British guy with okay hair. Not bad.



V: The Series. Which made no sense as the evil Diana and her cohorts STILL wore their "human" masks, even after everyone on Earth knew they were really lizards. It's like keeping on a monkey suit well after everyone realizes you're a person.

Despite the hair (or maybe becuase of it), Diana is better looking than I remember.



The Infrequently spoken of Spider-Man TV stuff. Probably closer to what Ditko had in mind than all that Toby Maguire hoo ha.



The also infrequently discussed Captain America



There was also this post-Heavy Metal Levi's Commercial I was very fond of. Its probably why I wear Levi's to this day.



And just for fun: the opening of The Adventures of Superman

Off To Wacky Waco

Short (practically non-existent) post.

I'm heading to Waco for about 36 hours or more.

I have to get up early, so I don't have time to pen my usual musings if I want to get some shut-eye before my big drive and whatnot tomorrow.

Oddly, this is really the last driving I plan to do for work for a smidge, so hopefully I'll be homebound for a few weeks.

No plans for my evening in Waco. Hopefully I'll just find a place to grab a drink and maybe do some dancing on campus.... Oh, right.


I hope I do not come face-to-face with an angry Baylor Bear

I actually really like the good folks at Baylor, and not just because their facilities are a jump better than ours and they fed me well last time I was there. I haven't spent the night in Waco since high school when our drama team was there for regional competition (and lost). I didn't actually sleep that night, and almost threw-up on the way home thanks to a steady diet of sugar and blue-colored sodas while out from under my parent's watchful eye.

Makes me wonder whatever happened to a lot of those crazy kids.

Anyway, I'm doing some training stuff, including LEADING some training, which is no good for anyone. But if you really, really want to know about open journal systems, meet me Waco on Thursday (but not tomorrow. I'm not leading anybody, anywhere tomorrow).

Your Time Killer of the Day

Here's your time killer of the day.

Movie and comic concepts reduced to their unflattering essence.

Two of my favorites:

SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.