To take you into the weekend, I submit this site which details many, many truths I wish had been bestowed upon me upon entering Film School.

Film School was the best and most fun way i could have spent my parents' money for four years. For whatever reason, those silly people had faith in me not to wind up in a button down job. Unfortunately, I was 22 before I realized self-confidence and a knowledge of film may actually keep you from working in Hollywood. Anyway, it's a freaking ridiculous industry. If you don't believe me, tell me why the Olsen Twins are billionaires and Vin Diesel is marketable and why American Splendor plays nowhere and "Grind" is playing everywhere in Phoenix.

Anyhow, that's it for me, America. Have a good weekend and keep your hands to yourself.

And because I've been a might busy and may have left you kids hanging, Just remember: Knowing is Half the Battle.

Just figured a way out of paying for a retirement home...

Superman Seat Covers

THe Superman Homepage recently announced that Superman Seat Covers were being made available in the US through the Superman Collector's Store. THe Seat covers are a little pricey, and I wanted to get a feel for whether or not my lovely wife Jamie would ever get in my car again if I got the seat covers. I think the answer was "no."

Now you have to understand that Jamie has no problem with the Superman thing and let's me pretty much do as I please. But there's something about the seat covers which may finally push her over the edge. I can usually tell when I am getting close to the edge as she will ask me in a very calm voice "Do you think YOU are SUperman?" I know she's being cute, but it's also a pretty good warning sign that she's reaching the end of her rope. It's also not as awkward as when I had to tell my brother I didn't think Superman was a real person.

Nonetheless, I am working on a compromise regarding the Seat covers. We'll figure soemthing out. Up, Up and Away.

Foot is feeling much better, but still pretty sore. My beautiful wife Jamie went and bought me Cherry Extract tablets last night. Cherry Extract, and cherries themselves, are supposed to alieviate joint pain. Normally I think herbal remedies fall into the realm of placebo and hokum, but once you're in pain, all that doubt and logic goes out the window. "Bring me the St. John's Wort!"

It's not that I don't believe Mother Earth provides natural remedies, because natural rememdies are quite common pretty much anywhere but in the US. But I have a hard time taking the "alternative medicine" rack at the Walgreens terribly seriously. Once you've minced, dried and powdered cherries, then placed them in a digestible pill, I'm fairly certain any medicinal value said cherries once held is long gone. My point is, we know that when you french fry potatos, you've boiled out all nutrition in them. Why do we think disintegrating cherries is going to help us?

But I'm taking the pills anyway, because yesterday my foot hurt like a son of a bitch, and today, it hurts less. It may be that there's a natural curve to the gout thingy, and when it flares up, or it could be the cherries helping out. We'll see. I feel like a chump for taking this hoo-hah, but I'll take whatever black magic I need to in order to remain ambulatory.

Due to the screaming footpain described yesterday, I was given Hydrocodone so I could "sleep". More like "so I could not wake up." Man, this morning was goofy. It was like the Sandman was sitting on my back (I sleep face down) and trying to convince me it was Saturday.

Drug abuse is a weird thing, and I have difficulty understanding why the kids would want to get goofy on something that would pretty much just make you punchy and make it so hard to get up in the AM. I must be missing something. I always miss out on the fun stuff.

Your Uncle Ry sez: Kids, stay in school and don't do the drugs.

My pals from Austin have decided to not proceed with their wedding about a month and half before their scheduled nuptiuals (sp?). Yikes. I feel awful.

I know they are trying to make the best decision for them, but it's still terribly depressing. What's also depressing is that I have tickets to be in town for the wedding. Because part of me is a glass-half-full kind of guy, I hope they work it out and actually DO get married, in which case, changing my travel plans will have been a tremendous mistake. Part of me is definitely glass-half-empty and thinks that maybe I can still use these tickets to get to Houston for Christmas. Part of me wants to just go to Austin and hang out for four days and enjoy early Fall in Central Texas. At any rate, I wish those two kids the absolute best, no matter what decision they make.

Things like this make Melbotis sad.

I've been having foot problems since I moved out here. Actually, I remember the first outbreak by date (9.11.02) as I sat in the ER watching Bush on TV as he landed at Ground Zero in New York. Anyhoo, it's come back several times since. It's always something that just pops up first thing in the morning when I jump out of bed, and there's no common thread to any particular activity.

I assumed these were TaeKwonDo injuries from my days of doling out boots to the head. I suffered from what was probably the same symptom when I was in TaeKwonDo, but like a good little TaeKwonDo trooper, I went to class anyway and sucked it up. A little adrenalin usually helped me get through doing exercises I knew probably weren't very good for me.

Symptoms cropped up again yesterday morning and were so bad by this morning when I woke, I sought out a doctor. BTW, the CIGNA Healtchare website is extremely useless. Thanks, CIGNA. Could not even find my randomly assigned PCP in the phonebook, let alone on their site. But I wanted to see a doctor as last night I garnered some new information about the hurty toe. See, about a month ago my brother came down with a similar ailment, and because he does not fear and loathe doctors, he actually sought medical help.

Turns out we share a common genetic problem. We're both prone to The Gout. Apparently little crystals of uric acid build up in your blood stream and make your foot hurt like a mother. According to this description, it also probably wouldn't occur if I weren't a fatty.

Sigh. At any rate, the painkiller I was given to keep me from gnawing off my own toe knocked my butt out for most of today. I was calmly eating an early lunch so I could take my pills, and suddenly I was woken by a 1:30 phone call from my lovely wife. Ay carumba.

Stupid gout, I hate you. You make my toe hurt and remind me of my unhealthy lifestyle.