Sunday, December 25, 2005

The League (with Special Guest: Steanso) Taste Tests the Jones Soda Holiday Collection

The League is usually full of bad ideas, and, upon occasion, bad ideas that affect other people. Part of the new and improved Steans/ McBride gift exchange is the placement of "Santor" gifts under the tree.

This year, in addition to an unopened Richard Marx album which had been following The League around since 1996, Santor also gifted the visiting Steanso with the Jones Soda Holiday Collection. Apparently we got the National release vs. the regional release. In either case, I am fairly certain the results would have been similar.

Jeff the Cat takes a look at the collection.

Steanso carefully considers the journey upon which we are about to embark.

The collection includes five Holiday Dinner flavors, a spork and a moist towlette.
We took a wee wiff of each flavor before beginning the taste test.

Brussel Sprouts.

Turkey & Gravy

Wild Herb Stuffing

Pumpkin Pie

Cranberry. Which we spilled all over the counter and floor. It's okay. It's a taste test, not a "let's drink the whole bottle test." We used to have those, but it didn't involve soda. We called that "college."

Allrighty. Each of the Bros. Steans got a tiny, holiday and/ or animal themed cup with a tatse of the soda, plus some ice to keep it chilly.

The League hates Brussel Sprouts more than we hate Candian Baby-Eaters, but we also brought this upon ourselves, so it's up to us to go forward and take the first drink. At this point, the smell was already getting to me, and I wanted to call an abort on the whole plan. Unfortunately, the Bros. Steans are really good at egging each other on into unknown and foolish territory.

We had picked Brussel Sprouts first, knowing it had, by far, the foulest smell, and we might as well get it out of the way.

If evil has a taste, it's Brussel Sprout soda. Mother of Christ. Every animal instinct in my body kicked in, fight or flight alarms going off in my head. I almost vomited, even with just the tiniest taste of Brussel Sprout Soda in my mouth.

Luckily, Jamie was on hand with a canister of Tic-tacs.

At this point I beg for an abort and to discontinue the process, but Steanso is having none of it.

Steanso takes a sip. Unfortunately, the reaction shot here isn't really captured. I believe his exact words were "Jesus Christ (Bleep)".

He also had a Tic-Tac.

Steanso was up at bat and went for the Turkey and Gravy Soda.

Don't be fooled. It's not a smile. That's the same look Steanso gets when he's about to stand up and punch you in the mouth. You can't punch Turkey & Gravy Soda in the mouth. Notice, he's sweating. His fight or flight instincts have also kicked in.

The League also finds Turkey & Gravy soda unpleasant, but after Brussel Sprout soda, T&G tastes like a fine wine. It really has little taste at all, for which, in this case, we're eternally grateful.

Next up, Wild Herb Stuffing. We LOVE herb stuffing. Just not so much in soda form. It doesn't really smell like much of anything, but the color is that of a day-old colostomy bag. Nothing good can come of this. But, when we're done, we have only two more sodas left, and they're desert sodas. So, bottoms up.

Ughhhh... not good. And now my stomach is hurting from tasting bad things. We don't want to ever eat anything ever again.

Pumpkin Pie! Mmm-mmm! Steanso takes a sip, hoping for the smooth flavor of Mom's pumpkin pie. He is non-plussed and a bit repulsed.

The League almost throws up again. Pumpkin-pie is delicious. I have no idea what those bastards at Jones Soda were up to, but this ain't pumpkin. I spit and spit, feeling my stomach trying to squeeze out the poison which isn't even there.

This one was a surprise. I had expected it to be sort of okay, but instead it was like getting kicked in the crotch by your favorite aunt.

Last soda! Cranberry! Or, more accurate, gelatin cranberry sauce artificial flavoring! Steanso gives the "sign of the devil" as he prepares to take his final sip.

Delicious? Well, it didn't cause wretching.

It smells like cranberry juice cocktail, which The League likes a lot.

It doesn't not taste like cranberries, but our stomach is full of glass shards, our mouth is going numb and, if we were alone right now, we'd probably sit in the corner, rocking and crying ourself to sleep.

All in all, a Christmas Day miracle.

What you can't tell here is that I'm angry. I'm not really sure why, but it's that same sort of angry you get when you've just been through something pretty awful, like almost getting hit by a car, and you're just pissed. That's how I felt pretty much until I went to bed.

A novelty soda is a novelty soda, and The League had to learn this the hard way. Steanso deserves a gold star for putting up with this taste test, let alone partaking.


After reviewing the Taste Test post, Jamie asked if I would do this over again knowing what I know now.

I want to say "Of course!", but I'm gonna be honest with you... I wouldn't voluntarily drink any of these things again. Did I learn anything? No. My sense of smell forewarned me, my sense of taste confirmed it. My lizard brain knew enough not to drink this piss, and I went ahead and did it anyway. Sometimes you should really go with your gut.
In case you missed it, The League has posted several links for you to peruse.

Apophis, a gigantic meteor, will probably destroy the earth in 2036. I'm cancelling my IRA now. Read more here.

Superman entertains little kids in Germany. You don't see Batman doing that, now do you?

Metropolis, Illinois is erecting a statue in honor of Noel Neill, First Lady of Metropolis.

A trailer for a movie I can't believe actually got made for many reasons.

Rove is up to his old shenanigans again.

Official site for the upcoming "Miami Vice" movie. Thanks to Randy for the link.

Now, from Mattel, an impossible to obtain (literally) action figure of Hal Jordan for JLU.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

NORAD + Santa = Your Merry Christmas

If you're looking to track Santa, you don't need to do it yourself. NORAD is on the case!

The League just called NORAD and spoke with a very nice soldier who told us that Santa is in Russia.

To track Santa, go here.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Merry Christmas from The League of Melbotis

The entire cast and crew from League HQ wishes you a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, or however you want to celebrate this season. We're shutting down here this evening, but we won't be out of touch. Don't hesitate to call or e-mail to get the latest details of what Melbotis, himself, is up to.

Travel safe. Be good. Be good to one another.

I've made my Christmas list:

  • Peace for myself and my family.
  • Peace for the world and a little understanding.
  • A bit of joy and happiness.
  • Strength to do the right thing.
  • Wisdom to know what the right thing might be.
  • Hope for a better tomorrow.
  • And time. Time enough to let those I love know what they mean to me.

Merry Christmas, Leaguers. I don't thank all of you enough.

and Merry Christmas, Jamie. Next year will be better. I love you, sweetie.

I think I failed to mention this, but since it's come up once already today...

Jamie and I will not be in Houston or in Texas over Christmas. We are staying in Arizona. Lucy is at a critical juncture in her flight training, and it would be remiss of us to take her out of pilot school for even a few days.

Steanso will be coming into town on the 23rd, so we won't be totally abandoned out here.

If you were planning to try to get in touch, sorry about that. Hope you can somehow struggle through the Holidays without The League's own personal brand of Holiday cheer.


The League

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Monday, December 19, 2005


Did you know it's Jim D's birthday?

Jim is now an ancient, creaky 30 years old. He has no longer allowed to be an angry young man. If this were 1850, Jim would expect to live about another 5-10 years.

Happy 30th, Jim.

Supergirl is here to make Jim feel young again.
The folks are in town for a few days for a pre-Christmas Christmas visit.

Things are a little goofy this year as Jamie's ever-fluctuating health has meant we declined to travel to Houston for this year's Christmas fun. Well, my grandparents had already booked their trip to Houston, and my parents wanted to see both fun ends of the generation spectrum. Hence, my folks are here this weekend.

For you Loyal Leaguers, this means reduced blogging going into Christmas. Which, given participation of late, probably won't be a big deal (hey, it's the Holidays. I know you kids are busy).

Just when I thought was on life support (Jim D. and Randy had been MIA), Steven G. Harms picked an hilarious fight with a reviewer from "The Stranger", and apparently got her irritated enough to respond in full in the comments section. Steven G. Harms, I bow before you once again.

I made some fairly immature comments in the comments section, too, but I'm not on my usual computer where I bookmarked my log-in to Nanostalgia, so you can read my $0.02 on the issue which was not very well self-edited. Most likely, I would have preferred to have not posted my second comment at all. The first one was sufficient.

Ah, well. I'm a jack ass. This is not news.

We sort of had Christmas today. Woke up, ate Jamie's once-a-year Roll Wreath (ambrosia, Leaguers. If anything every demanded a recipe posted, it's Judy McB's Christmas Roll Wreath), some bacon and had some coffee. Showered, went to church (got lost on way to the church), grabbed lunch, fell asleep for a long time, woke up, played with dogs, opened Christmas presents, played with dogs, ate a delicious Christmas dinner, did dishes, watched "It's a Wonderful Life."

At this point, December 25th is sort of moot. I did my Christmas. It was very nice. Anything Steanso brings to the table during Christmas visit next week will be lesser and a bit of a let down. We'll do Channukah instead, just to mix it up.

Oh, man. I think the cat just farted on me. Ewww.

Anyway, ya'll have a good one this week. Safe traveling. Safe shopping. Safe everything.

(Oh, and here is my secret message to all my fellow revolutionaries in The War on Christmas: The Fat Man is in the Sleigh. I repeat: The Fat Man is in the Sleigh.)

Buwahhhhh-HA HA HA HA HA HA

Friday, December 16, 2005


You know, somehow Christmas and Wookies keep intersecting here at The League.

Longtime Leaguer Peabo sends along this Christmas entertainment that's fun and safe for the whole family. No seriously. My co-workers enjoyed this, too.

Crank up your speakers, especially if you're at work.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Dear Iraq,

Best of luck on your upcoming elections.

I don't pretend to try to understand the vast social issues and religious/ ethnic issues that seem to make-up most news about Iraq. I am not sure how the whole thing is going to play out, but I'm also a glass-half-empty kind of guy.

Let me give you some friendly hints from your Ol' Uncle League on living in a quasi-democracy.

I've decided to make this a print out so you can clip and put in your pocket as a quick study guide while getting ready to vote.

----------------------cut here----------------------------------------------


1) Your candidate will probably lose. Especially in a plural-party society, which is what I think you guys have. Yes, this is frustrating as hell, but as a registered Democrat in AZ and formerly in Texas, I can assure you that you soon learn that the feelings of despair will go away. Do not pick up a gun to remove all opposition. This will not lead to more elections which will go your way.

Try liquor instead.

2) You will stand in a curiously slow moving line for a great deal of time. Yes, old people in front of you will seem not to actually know what they are voting for and you will hear some lady brightly declare whom she is voting for and why, which will reveal the fact that she has completely misinterpted or confused what she heard on the radio during the Wacky Morning Wake-Up Show's 1 minute of news between the Brangelina update and a Paris Hilton fart joke. Yes, she still gets to vote. Do not get discouraged. Do not pick up a gun to try to shorten the line. This will not lead to a speedier voting process.

Try liquor instead.

3) The winning candidates will assume God wanted them to win and suggest that God does not like your candidate (ie: You). Do not pick up a gun to try ot convince them otherwise. This will not lead to God liking your candidate (ie: You) more.

Try liquor instead. Or prayer. Maybe they pray better than you. You call that piety? My grandma's more pious than your infidelic ass. Shit.

4) An oddity of the democratic process is that sometimes really stupid things which appeal to people but which aren't actually a good idea in the long term will win the ballot. Do not pick up a gun to try to change the situation. This will not lead to you getting light-rail in your area.

I would suggest liquor, but that won't get you to work any more efficiently. Perhaps coffee?

----------cut here------

That's my guide to democracy. I don't know what it's actually like to have your opinions carried by your representative or for a candidate you selected (unless you count the time I voted in the Blockbuster Movie Awards), but something like 1-in-5 of you will experience a shred of that joy. I'm heard it's joyous. I still don't really know.

Oh, and no matter how much it seems to make sense at the time, do not vote for Ralph Nader. You will spend years (yes, YEARS) wishing you hadn't decided that you'd chosen that particular moment in the booth as your chance to take a pot-shot at the two-party system.

Again, if you do vote for Nader, liquor helps. And maybe a gun. That's still up in the air.


Your Uncle League

PS: Pro-wrestlers and actors make suspiciously likable candidates but get mixed results in their actual jobs once elected.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Leage of Melbotis 2005 Year in Review, Part 1

It's the end of 2005. Well, no, I mean, we've got a few weeks left, but we imagine we're going to be rather indisposed during those crucial weeks. And if VH1 can already have it's 2005 Year in Review show, The League can slap together our own little list.

Moment I Wish I Could Quash Forever From My Mind: Watching the news all day after Katrina hit the Gulf Coast and hearing the various local leaders pleading for assistance and knowing none was coming. The effect was doubled by FEMA's arrogant insistence that they had the situation under control when they very clearly did not, especially the interview in which FEMA learned of the folks holed up in the Convention Center.

And then bracing for Rita. Actually, just quash late-September thru Halloween. Thanks.

Best Addition to League HQ: Lucy "Goosey" Pumpkinpie. The little nipper has been nothing but a peeing, poop-eating bundle of joy. I'd feel worse about the terror Jeff the Cat now lives in, but he sort of deserves it.

Oddest Moment of the Year: Standing in the Post-Op room after Jamie had her Thanksgiving Friday surgery, listening to soft-rock Christmas songs with the nurses and recounting for Jamie's amusement the Suns game I'd watched while she was in surgery. I didn't get into too many specifics as I knew full well she was under so much anaesthesia, she wouldn't even know I'd talked to her. And then in the morning she didn't remember talking to me, but she knew the Suns had won.

Also, being woken up in the waiting room at 3:00AM by some person telling me "The cafeteria's open for another half hour!"

Greatest Personal Acheivement, 2005: None. I can't think of one useful thing I did in 2005. Did I do ANYTHING? I can't remember. It sure doesn't seem like it.

Greatest Personal Letdown: Realizing I did nothing in 2005 about ten seconds ago. Well, this year hasn't been a super amount of fun, so, you know, I guess it stands to reason. Still... Hmmm.

Ya'll excuse The League while he goes off to stick his head in the oven.

Okay, we're back! Electric oven.

Topic the League has been Far Too Obsessed With: Infinite Crisis. If you think The League talks too much about comics here, Jamie has to put up with it at home. I suspect her many trips to the hospital have been in order to escape my endless ranting on the genius of DC Comics this year.

Best Moment on TV:

Best Moment on JLU: The Flash taking out Brainiac. If you missed it, I pity you. Go, Wally.

Athlete of the Year: Vince Young. Wait... what was your answer? You are wrong. I have pie graphs and star charts which prove you are wrong. I, personally, want to pick Shawn Marion of The Suns, but this year, I gotta go with Vince.

League's Actor of the Year: Steve Carell, for The 40-Year Old Virgin and the under-rated American version of The Office. If you're one of the folks turning your nose up at the American version, get over yourself. You're missing one of the funniest shows on American TV. But we pick Steve mostly for not becoming an annoying celebrity.

Actress of the Year: That one red-headed actress who is in like half the commercials on TV. Way to go red-headed actress. Your agent is really working overtime!

Politician of the Year: Nobody won this category this year.

Greatest Injustice Which isn't Really an Injustice of the Year: Cancellation of Arrested Development. We knew they were pure evil at Fox for cancelling Andy Richter a few years ago, but then keeping The War at Home?

Best Comic Moment of the Year: Infinite Crisis #1. Batman tells Superman "The last time you really inspired anyone was when you were dead." Ouch. Immediately followed by the return of Superman from Earth 2.

Comic fans who didn't enjoy this issue are dead inside.

Worst Comic Moment of the Year: So many, many to choose from. I would have to say realizing that the 12-issue "City of Crime" story in Detecetive Comics wasn't going to get any better in issue #8, and knowing all too well I would still finish out the series anyway.

Best Comic Movie of the Year: Batman Begins. Yes, yes... Sin City was more daring, and A History of Violence was on all kinds of critics' lists. But Batman Begins was the Batman movie I'd been wanting to see since I was 12. Plus, it made me fall in love with the Batmobile all over again.

Most Unnecessarily Exciting Moment of the Year: Trailer for Superman Returns on Smallville.

Most Unnecessarily Depressing Moment of the Year: Aquaman on Smallville.

Loyal Leaguer of the Year: Jim D. for hosting the Superman screening in Beaumont, Texas. Yes, Jim, the projector broke and all the bars were closed, but none of that can be considered your fault. I blame Randy.

Thing I would Normally Never Admit, but I Shall Admit Here: Every week, without fail, I watch "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition". I don't even like it, but I watch it every damn week. Why is that?

This is sort of fun for me, even if it's not fun for you. I decided this was only Part 1 a while ago. I shall do a Part 2 later.

Keep your eyes peeled. And if you have any other ideas for categories, just put them in the comments section below. Thanks!

Monday, December 12, 2005

The League in other media!

Hey, Leaguers!

Nathan Cone of San Antonio based Texas Public Radio has asked The League to do a review of the recently released Adventures of Superman Season 1 DVD collection.

Nathan posted The League's $0.02 on the series. Click here to read The League's review.

Also, I've reposted the review on, which I am sure nobody is visiting.

Saturday, December 10, 2005


Welcome to Christmas Time at League HQ!!!! It's our annual tour of the same crap you saw last year. Only different! Hey, if you look closely, you can see my Wonder Woman ornament showing some gam in this picture. HOO-AHHH!!!

You can click on any picture for a slightly larger version to REALLY get the detail.

Jamie has decided we're doing Nutcrackers. Lookitem. All the cute little nutcrackers. It's Pirate, Soldier/ Drummer, Weird Uncle Nic, and Drunk Bavarian. Plus 4 little people nutcrackers.


Our Rudolph toys. Huzzah!

Stockings! 6 this year. From left to right:
Jason, Jamie, Ryan, Melbotis, Jeff and Lucy

My ma sent this last year. It's the magic bell from Polar Express.

Our table awaiting Christmas Cards. Oh, look. It's a card from a certain Loyal Leaguer!

The Nativity set. This is an awful picture. Sorry.

Our tree. The new fake tree, all adorned and merry. You can see Jeff walking off frame.

Great Rao! A red star for Christmas?

See if you can see Superman anywhere on my tree.

Any luck yet?

Jamie and Jeffer.

Outside our house.

The yard in the dark.

Judy brought this all the way from Oklahoma. It's the highlight of our yard. So very festive.

Jeff and I wish you a Merry Christmas. And I need to go back to the gym. Jesus, look at that.

Jeff plans a long winter nap.
Richard Pryor RIP

Thursday, December 08, 2005

A trailer for an all new family movie that will teach us about life, laughter and the power of love...

A trailer for the feature film "Shining".

THanks to Nathan for the trailer.
Christmas music for Randy...

Check out Bit Shifter's Christmas songs here.
Phoenix Suns win their 8th in a row against the Golden State Warriors (suck on that, all of California!).

read more here

One of the interesting bits commentators Tom Leander mentioned two games ago (I think it was Tom) was that when we lost Joe Johnson to Atlanta this summer, we picked up some of our finest players for under $10 million combined. That was Boris Diaw, Raja Bell, House, and, I think, Grant. I can't exactly recall. But a big part of the Phoenix Suns current line-up were considered second string scrubs on their previous teams, and with the Suns, this group combined appears to be one of the contenders for this year's play-offs.

Yes, yes... It's only December and I'm being very premature. BUT, we don't have Amare back yet, and Leandro should be coming back soon, too. Not to mention Grant.

By the way, I now publicly apologize for saying, back in November "I'm not sure I think much of this House guy." I take all of that back. Forgive me, Mr. House.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

New Superman Returns Photos...

Superman and Lois get snuggly. That chest emblem isn't as small as I think people were thinking. It looks pretty good. I think I'll get one.

Maybe it's the season, but he looks like a Christmas tree. I've decided I like the suit. I really like what Alex Ross does with his paintings of the suit best, but this is a pretty darn cool movie version. Still digging the belt.

And here's Lois. You know, Lady Leaguers... as I often tell Jamie, glasses are not a bad thing.
Suns beat Trailblazers 130-85

read more here

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

And as if by magic...

The X-Men 3 trailer is up.

Actually, it looks pretty good. Is that Juggernaut wandering around behind Magneto?

If this doesn't make Randy as giddy as a school girl, what will?

I'm glad to see Jean Grey is around. We finally get Colossus and Shadowcat. But it looks like we also get a funeral. Someone is getting whacked. Ah, well.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Man or Beast?

With Bryan Singer departing the X-Men movie franchise in order to work on Superman Returns, Fox pictures decided to move ahead with X-Men 3 utilizing Brett "I'm an Idiot" Ratner at the helm. If the name sounds familiar, it's because Ratner is the same Brett Ratner who WB fired from Superman as mentioned in last week's post.

In the upcoming film, Cheers and Frasier star Kelsey Grammer is not just the voice of Dr. Henry "Hank" McCoy (a.k.a. Beast), but he's also, ACTUALLY Beast. Good call. Paunchy 50-year old dudes always make the best superheroes. Especially superheroes whose primary powerset includes Spider-Man like agility.

Here is The Beast as depicted in X-Men comics:

Here is Kelsey Grammer as Beast:

Here is Kelsey Grammer as Beast:

Oh, sorry... That's Kelsey Grammer as Scrooge in 2004's "A Christmas Carol". Still, you know... If blue mutton chops are all you need to be an X-Man, I need to inform some key folks from Guadalupe Street in Austin that they're laying down on the job as the foremost superheroes of our day.

And here's Grammer displaying his amazing agility which earned him the part of the super-agile Hank McCoy.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

Friday I was leading some visitors from Shanghai across campus (Robin, Kevin, and my man Pinocchio). We have a semi-annual art fair outside my office and I had to walk them through the art fair to get to campus.

"Uh..." said Robin.
"Yes?" I said.
"What is that?" He was pointing at someone dressed in a full-body Grinch costume.
"That's the Grinch. He, uh... he tries to steal Christmas."
There was some blinking going on. "He's from a children's story."
"Ohhhhhhh..." and they all ran off to take pictures of the Grinch.
"Uhhhhmmm..." they said as we walked along a little further.
"Does nobody here work on Friday?"
"Uh..." I looked around. Who the heck ARE these people who aren't working on Friday afternoon? Sure, I saw a lot of retirees, but I also saw a lot of people who should have been at work. "I suppose maybe they... I'll be honest... I have no idea."
"What is...?"
"What is this for?"
"It's sort of an art fair. For Christmas."
They sort of stared at me.
"Christmas is a Holiday. It's, uhmm..." I looked at the 3-foot carved wooden rabbit statues for sale and tried to figure out how to tie the kernel corn, crappy street magic show and guy playing steel drums in a tent nearby to the birth of Christ.
"People exchange a lot of presents. It's a family holiday."
"And, you know, the Grinch tries to steal all of that."
Anyway, I sort of miss Kevin, Robin and my man, Pinocchio. They were going to Vegas for the weekend, and all i could do to forewarn them was tell them to preset a spending limit. Hope they had fun.


The Phoenix Suns are looking like they're going to be a lot of fun again this season. It's taken me a bit, but I feel like I know who the current roster is (only to be scrubbed during trades later in the season), and I think Mike D'Antoni has put together a pretty darn good squad.

Consider: Amare and Leandro haven't been able to play and we were still up by as much as 32 points during tonight's contest with the insanely bad Atlanta Hawks (for Atlanta Leaguers, you have my synpathies). Also, Grant is out for a bit. Your Phoenix Suns are as strong off the bench as they were off the bench last season, if not more so.

I was sad for Joe Johnson and the Hawks who seem like they need a great deal of team counseling. Good GOD, man, is that a team in disarray. Joe was one of our starters here last year, and he's still got a place in my heart. Sadly, the $70 million the Hawks offered Joe had a big place in HIS heart, so we lost him.

Anyhoo, Go SUNS.

Further, anyone watch the Big 12 Championship Game?

I'll be honest, The League is a bit of a "glass is half-empty" sort of guy. I dropped Judy off at the airport on Saturday and went shopping for Christmas decorations rather than watching the first half of the game. I just couldn't take it. I just want for UT to get to the Rose Bowl, but if we were going to blow the Big 12 Championship, I couldn't stand to bear witness.

Luckily, not so much a problem. What was the score? 70 to 3?

I don't care if you don't care about sports. 70 TO 3. And that was with NO points in the 4th quarter from UT.


We did go and get some decorations and League HQ is now a Holiday Wonderland! Our tree is lovely and red. We have red glass ornaments, red bead garland and a big red star atop the tree (Jamie is a devout Maoist). Superman, Spidey and the gang have all found spots among the branches, and, heck, Leaguers, it's all pretty festive. And let me tell you, Jamie deserves some festiveness right now.

I think I'll take a few photos and see what ya'll think.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Hi Leaguers - Mrs. League here, back from el hospital. Am typing one handed so this will be short - just wanted to thank everyone for their support and good wishes! It's good to be home and I hope this time I can stay home.

Looks like I got out of the GPS business too early:

"Turn left in 500 feet....fool!"
December 1st is World AIDS Day.

Read more here.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Good news and Bad News here at The League

Good news first:

Want to have the World's Greatest Superheroes deliver your mail for you?

Well, DC has teamed with the US Postal Service in order to create 20 stamps of 10 of DC's greatest superheroes (that's 2 stamps of 10 separate heroes for those of you unwilling to try the math).

Read up on this bold move by the US Postal Service here.

Now the BAD news:

Leaguers in the Central Texas area may be subjected to the incontinence-inducing tunes of Austin-based rock and roll combination: CRACK.

Crack features not one, but TWO Loyal Leaguers and Nanostalgia contributors: the aptly named CrackBass and the shame of the Family Steans, Cleveland Steanso. Unskilled attorneys by day, incompetent rock gods by night.

CrackBass writes:

crack (featuring special friend Gary Meyer) will be performing its annual spectacle this Friday, December 2, 2005 at Ruta Maya, 3601 South Congress ( crack comes on promptly at 9:00, off at 9:45, so arrive accordingly. Real bands to follow, so stick around!

Doug sent this along...

It seems to be a music video for a song about Superman.

Normally songs about Superman kind of wear me out (Jimmy Olsen's Blues, whatever that song is by Three Doors Down). In fact, aside from "I am Superman" performed by (but not originally by) REM, I try to ignore most Superman pop and rock songs.

But I kind of dig this. Just make sure you put on your headphones or watch this at home as it gets kind of loud.

Superman short film.
Normally I don't point to The Onion or The Onion AV Club as I assume you all know that The Onion is required reading for all Loyal Leaguers.

But this struck me as particularly funny. Follow the link. And make sure you go on thru to the MetLife website in question.

Poor ol' Charlie Brown.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

I am happy to report that Jamie has returned home.

I am also happy to report that Judy gifted me this evening with a giant inflatable snow globe for the front yard. That thing is just HUMMING, man. It's pretty darn awesome.

What's even more awesome is that we don't have any other decorations up yet, so there's just the giant snowglobe in the front yard.

Jamie is very tired, but she's in really good spirits. Hopefully she'll continue to feel well. Right now she's going through some post-surgery stuff with surgical sites being sore, but aside from that, I think she's doing okay. Just sort of pokey and slow moving.

Also, I received two new CDs in the mail this week, completely unsolicited.

Ace of Base
Digital Underground's "Sex Packets"

Truly, the season of giving is upon us.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Holy Smokes! It's Corley...

I was pals in college with a fellow named Mike Corley. I knew Mike through Justin, a guy I'd been pals with since at least middle school. Justin and I had bonded over X-Men comics and Batman as kids. And we pretty much picked up from the same place in college when I found him living three doors down in my dorm.

Mike shared our interest in caped crusaders, and went the RTF route with us, really specializing in radio and audio, from what I recall. He'd really wanted to be a voice actor and work in radio, ads and cartoons, I think.

At UT, Mike was famous among his friends for his Halloween costumes and his willingness to appear in our films in pretty much any role we would ask. Need an alien in spandex? DONE. Weird fire breathing tuxedo'd freak? DONE. A murderous funeral home operator? DONE and DONE.

Outside of that, we spent a lot of time working on goofy short films, seeing movies, occasionally going to a show, and generally doing anything but our homework.

Then one day Mike met some girl from Oklahoma over the internet. This was in the days, so we decided it was all crazy and the world was, in fact, coming to an end. Justin and I went to the Boars's Head saloon on 6th (down near Katz's) got very drunk, discussed the situation, decided it was out of our hands, and promptly forgot about the whole business.

Shortly after that, Michael fled Austin to marry the girl in Oklahoma. And that was that.

Until today!

Justin sent me an update on Michael from the Information Superhighway. There has been a confirmed Corley sighting. And he's doing about what I'd expect in the wilds of Oklahoma.

God bless Michael Corley.
Superman Returns isn't due to theaters for several months, but now is as good a time as any to try to hint at why I've been excited about the upcoming movie.

Jeff Shoemaker and Steven G. Harms both forwarded this article to me today:

A complete history of the pre-production for a new Superman movie up until Bryan Singer is signed.
(read only if you have an hour to kill... I only was able to browse the article)

For whatever reason, some folks have sort of had it in for the traditional version of Superman, and a lot of movie business people have tried to make money off the franchise without ever bothering to see what made it interesting in the first place. I'm not 100% assured of the accuracy of this article, but enough of what's in it has been documented online and in the press that the bulk of what is said has some basis in fact. I do think the writer is probably a little hard on the parties involved (except Jon Peters, who is a well-documented moron).

Yes, there are going to be places to nitpick the upcoming "Superman Returns", but if you knew what almost happened... dear GOD, what almost happened to The Man of Steel... well, you'd be pretty calm about minor changes to the red in Superman's cape or an "S-shaped" belt-buckle. Or even Kevin Spacey as Luthor, as one Loyal Leaguer has made it his mission to decry. I knew probably 65% of what was in the linked article, and sort of extrapolated another 5 - 10%.

Superman is relatively straightforward, but with a truckload of details that enhance and color who the character is for the folks who read the comics, watch the various TV shows, view the older movies and generally are actual fans of the character. From the article you can see the laughable quotes about "exploring Superman's dark, murderous side," and shiver in the knowledge that these guys almost got a movie made that would have been the final nail in the coffin of The Man of Steel. These people can't see the point of Superman at all, or have lost the part of themselves that thinks maybe a superhero can be about bringing some light in from the shadows. These moneymen would return Superman to big screen as a character who can see no greater use for his power than a person with a gun.

I'm a firm believer that there are no bad characters or ideas, there's just bad execution of those ideas. I even think some of the proposed ideas for Superman sound like a neat movie, but they aren't Superman. I would probably go see some of the movies described, as long as they were called "CosmoSoldier" or "Captain Amazing" or something. But the desire to constantly change Superman to meet the latest success story from Hollywood? As if the black trenchcoats in Matrix were really the source of that film's success?

In the end, I don't know if Superman is what needs to change as each new generation gains control of the franchise, or if the threats that Superman faces are what needs to change. Perhaps it's really Luthor and Co that must remain fluid from generation to generation?

The movie movie may be a bomb. It may end up being a wretched piece of filmic garbage that I am later ashamed of supporting. For now, I feel the movie wound up in good hands. The pieces of dialog in the trailer let me know, as a Superman fan, that Singer is staying the course, and that the movie will be driven by a desire to let Superman be Superman.

Anyway, if you have time to kill, I recommend reading the article.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

League Post-Thanksgiving Wrap-Up


So Tuesday night when I called home to see how Jamie was doing and to let her know I was en route, she had "the tone" in her voice. 'The Tone" is my catch-all indicator that something is wrong with Jamie. It's better than suddenly hearing vomiting or finding her passed out on the floor, but it's still not a lot of fun.

Anyhoo, in order to receive her pherisis and dialysis treatments, Jamie has a fistula/ shunt (whatever you want to call it) that is a vein they've sort of beefed up for easy access. Back around Halloween, Jamie had a blood clot in the fistula and she'd had surgery to clear that out.

Well, whether it was tied to the surgery or something else, Jamie had an infection on her arm.

Tuesday night we went to the ER to see about getting the red patch looked at, but with a hundred screaming children between us and a doctor, we decided to hold off until morning when Jamie was set for dialysis. Wednesday, the dialysis center sent her back to the ER where she was seen, given antibiotics and admitted.

Jamie's folks came into town Wednesday, as did Doug and Kristin. Wednesday night, while Doug, Kristin, Judy and I enjoyed a lovely pasta dinner, Jamie and her dad hung back to get Jamie's ever-growing boil lanced. She also received some anti-biotics.

Thursday was mostly observation.

Friday Jamie was supposed to go home, but her surgeon showed up, saw the infection was worse than previously believed, and Jamie was scheduled for a surgery for Friday night. The surgery didn't go quite as planned, and they had to do a few extra things, but Jamie came out of it just fine, short a vein in her leg.

Luckily, lots of family around meant that Jamie has had a constant stream of family running around trying to make sure she's okay.

Everybody but Judy has now departed, and tomorrow Jamie is scheduled for a few things. I think she'll be coming home mid-week, which I am really excited about. We just bought a new Christmas tree (yes, fake, darn it!), and we need to find new decorations and a star for the top.

So what was I thankful for this year?

  1. Jamie was able to fight off another potentially dangerous illness
  2. Family, both here and across the country
  3. Modern medicine
  4. Doctors, nurses and techs of an excellent caliber at CRH
  5. UT's ability to win, even when they're playing like they ate too much turkey
  6. The Phoenix Suns, for being an excellent distraction while Jamie is in surgery

Hope everyone had a better Turkey Day than us.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving, Leaguers!

We hope you can come up with some good reasons to be thankful this year. I know we at League HQ are thankful for all the great folks who pop up here at League of Melbotis (even if you won't take the time to post to tell us what YOU are thankful for).

Have a festive and restive Turkey Day.

And, you know, it's okay to do the Holiday any way you please. Just make sure you share the day with someone special.

Superman and Lois forego Turkey for a light dinner and getting sloshed on Strawberry Hill.

Monday, November 21, 2005

The League Asks: What Are You Thankful For?

Hey, Leaguers! Turkey Day is coming this week. Here's a quick link to the history of Thanksgiving here in the good 'ol US of A.

read on, Turkey!

We're thankful for quite a bit this year. But what are you thankful for?

Heck, you're probably reading this at your computer at work. So keep avoiding the tasks of the day and take a few more minutes and post to the comments what, exactly, you're thankful for in 2005.

In the meantime, it's the Cover to JSA #54, for which I am very thankful.

The Gross Story

Normally I love Manu. He's a great player, and he's on the Spurs, which gets him extra points. But Saturday night Ginobili took one of his famously unnecessary flops, landing squarely on the ankle of Suns player Leandro Barbosa.

Leandro was Steve Nash's back-up last season, and he was good, but not amazing. This season, Leandro has really matured, and he's been doing a lot ot carry the team. Until, of course, Manu plopped down on his own butt once again, rolling back and hitting Leandro, thus taking Leandro out of the game and out of play for the next two-to-three weeks.

And so I say: Screw you, Ginobili!

I gotta stick with my Suns. Why you gotta be flopping on my guys like that?


Want to hear a gross story?

My air conditioning in my car recently died. Could be worse. It's now fairly temnperate in the Valley of the Sun, but driving around all day with the windows down doesn't do much for your hair. So, I put on my Phoenix Suns cap around 2:00 on Saturday, finally taking it off at 9:00 when I decided it was time for a hop in the tub. I don't take baths often, but last night seemed like a good time to soak, so I put in some bubbles and hopped in the water.

I ran the hot water, poured some into a cup and rinsed my hair, and was enjoying the bubbles, when I started in with the shampoo. And then I noticed a clump of something in my hair. I scrubbed a bit and it came out in a single mass. I looked down into my hand, and there in my hand were the curled remains of a big, ol' desert spider.

I screamed like a little girl and tossed the body of the spider into the bubbles, which was probably not very smart. Anyhoo, Jamie lept to my rescue and suggested I drain the tub, which I did.

I washed my hair three times and tried not to think too hard about the poor spider suffocating to death between my head and the hat.

The hat, sadly, wound up in the trash as I would never be able to look at it the same way again.

The most curious part if the whole situation was that we went out and picked up some dinner around 7:30, and while we were out, my feet inexplicably began to itch. I'm not sure there's a connection, but... I dunno. I'm not dead, but I didn't gain amazing spider powers, so I'm calling the whole thing a wash.

I can tell you this: I'm going to be checking my hats a lot more before putting them on. Especially with all the prehistoric freaky bugs living in this town.
Toys That Should Not Be: Alarming Superman Returns Edition


Here is the first licensed product from the upcoming Superman Returns

The League will NOT be getting this particular item.

The Ken Doll Superman

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Home for the Holidays?

Well, Mrs. League is home once again.

Last Sunday Jamie went into the hospital with some weird breathing problems. We've had some interesting medical issues here at League HQ over the years, but breathing hadn't yet made the list.

At first I thought Jamie had some sort of upper-respiratory infection, but it went from "a little trouble breathing" to "horrendous wheezing and gasping" pretty quickly. Luckily, when we hit that point we were already in the ER. (And just a quick reiteration, the real world ER is nowhere as romantic or exciting as the one on TV. Mostly you repeat your medical history ten times to ten different people and they look at you sort of blankly. Also, answering lots of insurance questions).

Mad props go out to the doctor who prescribed the upper-throat breathing treatment, because that really, really helped.

Anyhoo, Jamie was moved upstairs into the hospital around 7:00pm, and from there, Jamie's usual doctors got to work. Her blood levels were all out of whack and they needed to keep an eye on her.

Jamie's mom flew in (again) and helped out this week, sleeping in the weird pleather chairs they provide for visitors.

The bottom line is that Jamie is going to go on dialysis (again) and will get on the list for kidney transplant (again). So while we may have taken a step backward from the pheresis treatments Jamie was getting, she's gonna get on the list for a new kidney.

Jamie came home Friday, and we've been trying to just enjoy a little peace and quiet. While the hospital is as nice as they can make it, it's still the hospital, and I think Jamie is happy not to be hanging out with an IV in her arm and electrodes stuck all over her body.

If you have a kidney you aren't currently using, or one which you think you could spare, please put it in an envelope and send to

Jamie's Kidney Bank
1234 Arizona Ave.
Chandler, AZ

We'll be having Jamie's side of the family in this week for Turkey Day, so expect posts to remain infrequent until after the holiday. Lots of prep to do and not a lot of time to do it in.

Anyway, that's the scoop. Hope it explains why things have been so quiet on this end.

Friday, November 18, 2005


click here to check it out

It's all on the Superman Returns website.

Or else check out the link from the Superman Homepage

Up, up and away...

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The League goes political

Recently the President of the United States has been partaking in a "counter-offensive" as both press and politicians have been raising questions about the reasoning and evidence produced to draw the US into the ongoing war in Iraq. President Bush has stated that those questioning the war at this point are "deeply irresponsible".

I would point you toward this evening's installment of "The Adventures of Steanso", in which former Marine Lee Thweatt reflects upon the situation.

Go here to read.
That creeping silence you've been hearing at The League has been a lot of unfortunate distraction.

We've got a lot of unfun stuff going on, but I'll let Jamie fill you in when she's home again.

Anyhoo, here's the good news: the teaser trailer for Superman Returns will air tomorrow night during Smallville.

I guarantee that it will knock your socks off. So go set your DVRs and TiVOs, Leaguers! It's SUPERMAN!!! (and we here at The League are quite fond of The Man of Steel...)

Anyway, look for it. it'll also be showing in some theaters with Harry Potter this weekend.

Up, up and away!

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Suns off to a rocking 2-3 start!


Well, they've got 3 new guys on their starting line, Amare is out, and Steve is falling apart.


Luckily, this Bell guy is really good and Diaw seems to be working out. We're not getting killed out there, but, still... it's a 2-3 start.

Gotta stick with my boys. I know they'll turn it around.
Thanks, Moms

Word to our mothers.

The League and Mrs. League have been having a hard time of late, and due to some unforeseen difficulties, we were in need of some extra help around League HQ.

Special thanks to Judy and the KareBear for coming out to the miserable desert for a week each and offering a helping hand.

The League especially enjoyed the visits as The League got away without cooking for two weeks and only occasionally doing dishes.

Hooray for Moms!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Aquaman to get own TV series...
Sweet mother of crap! Has the whole world gone mad?

Look, THE LEAGUE LIKES AQUAMAN! Do not let it be said otherwise.

Based on the strength of the "Aquaman" episode of Smallville the WB is working on a Smallville spin-off for the King of the Seven Seas.

Aquadork is getting his own show.

The League has a theory. Here it is (hold on to your hats):

Good looking people in swimsuits sell ad-space.

Aquaman's comics do not even begin to lend themselves to being a good idea for TV. They mostly take place underwater and involve a complex monarchy system, losses of limbs and dead babies. And a sidekick named "Garth".

My guess is nobody but about a handful of comic nerds knows or cares about Aquaman's story, and we can expect for all of that to be scrapped for a beachside resort which constantly faces crooks and criminals of the supernatural variety.

Yes, Aquaman is being turned into Baywatch Nights. (And, yes, at the height of X-Files' popularity, Baywatch Nights became a show about supernatural menaces).

Oh, Leaguers...

The League supposes we will watch the pilot as we are often wrong, and we are always curious to see how mainstream supoerhero properties will be mangled in the wrong hands.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Famous DJ not only Rocks San Antonio's Face Off, Also Rates Game

Nathan C. writes in:

Game? What the heck...?

I don't even think I had any game at all while at TU. This is going to sound really nerdy, but while I was in school, I had little to no interest in a relationship. Therefore, I went on few dates. Make that almost NO dates. I had a girlfriend for a few months during my sophomore year, and decided I'd rather be playing music with the Stray Toasters and inventing new cocktails with Frank in my spare time than dating. It was only after I graduated that I took any interest in such things.

So, Game during college? I'd rate it a 2.3. I am pretty clueless, and so I didn't really know if someone was interested in me or not unless they hit me over the head. And then there was the time a good lady friend flat out told me, "Look, we can't take it any farther than friends," and that was that.


Come on, Leaguers! Write in with your tale of college-era dating woe!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

With Aplogies to Doug...
from whom I am stealing a great idea.

We're not to Christmas yet, but I need to do some shopping soon. I don't want to shop in the middle of mark up season.

The big question this year is: What to get Jason?

Or, as I shall put it into song by pictograph...





Monday, November 07, 2005

Yesterday the doors of The League's past were flung wide open, and who should come popping out?


It's been years since The League heard from Denise, but we were pleased as punch to hear from our old college and high school buddy. If not for Denise's excellent driving skills one fateful night in 1993, I would never have been in San Antonio and never met the future Mrs. League. For that contribution, we're all eternally grateful. Mad props to Denise for her part in crafting The League's future.

Denise also took me to see L7 in high school. There was an all day music fest at UofH, and one of the opening acts was early 90's Canadian rapper "Snow". Remember Snow? I do.

Folks at the show noticed Snow was lip synching and called him on it. I'm not sure how it happened, but it ended with Snow being pulled into the crowd and security needing to rescue him.

Sometimes I really miss Houston audiences. I ask you, where else are they going to beat you up for lip synching?

Anyway, Denise is apparently now kicking it old skool in Pearland, Texas with her husband where she's a pharmacist. I shall soon be hitting her up for my oxycontin.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

The next Spidey movie is supposed to feature 2 villains instead of just 1. We'll see how that works in practice.

The Batman movies did this for the last three installments, and Batman Begins did it as well. Prior to batman Begins I thought this was a fairly dumb idea as it burned through the characters twice as quickly without really providing much more than a lot of one-upmanship in the scenery chewing department (see Batman Forever... or, rather, don't...).

At any rate, looks like occasionally popular actor Thomas Hayden Church will be playing Spidey mainstay, The Sandman. he was signed a long time ago, but it was never made public which character he would take on.

Well, please see below:

Comic Sandman

Movie Sandman

Who is the other villain? Surprise, surprise... the rumor mill is saying "Venom" as played by Topher Grace.

No. Really.

Saturday, November 05, 2005


In response to my post on ASU's Palm Walk, Peabo writes:


Is there really that much bare-midriff walking around the ASU campus ? Was it like that when we were at UT ? I can't remember. I do know that everytime I go to a UT game I look around and think "Were there this many good looking girls when I was here ?"
Either way, it makes me think how incredibly sad my dating years were while at UT. And let's be honest, I was a pretty good looking guy. Which leads me to poor was my game when I was on campus ?
On a scale of 1 to 10 I would have rated my college game as follows:

- Freshman year: 5 (I would rate it lower, but I refuse to believe I was ever below a 5. You either have to be unattractive, overweight, or have a personality of Tom Arnold to go below 5. And I'm talking 1980's Tom Arnold, not the more calm, sedated, non-cocaine using version we see today.

-Sophomore year: 5.5 (It picked up a little, but I still dressed like a gym rat to class, and the girlfriend dumping me totally ruined the confidence I had going and had me in the dark staring out the window listening to Air Supply and such. I was totally pussified for like a 9 month period. I'm sorry for the use of the word pussified, but seriously, there was no better descriptor.)

- Junior year: 7.5 I saw dramatic imporvement and dated so pretty good looking girls. Something had changed. I'll give credit to the fact that for the first time I really began drinking alcohol on a social level.

Senior year: 8.0 I maxed out my potential at this time in my life. My maturity level was only going to let me go so hi. And my appearance probably would not let me get much higher.

So, League, rate your college game. In fact, this would be a fun exercise for all your readers. And since a lot of them are aquaintence you can call b.s. on them if the imbellish or start making crap up.

The League thinks this is a fine idea! Rate your high school or college dating game!

Don't post to comments, though. E-mail me your reponses.

The League will kick this off describing his college game and using the 10.0 scale.

Freshman Year: Bitter towards women in general after getting shamefully dumped at the end of high school, and then having nothing but bad dating experiences before arriving at college, The League ranks a solid "4".

At age 18, The League sort of decided bathing was for suckers, wore the same hat every day for a year (a "Tire Station" baseball hat), shaved only sporadically, and mostly stunk of coffee and other people's cigarettes. Usually cranky due to too much caffeine and not enough sleep, The League went on a lot of first dates, but not a lot of second dates.

I mostly remember the girls I DID want to go out with (ie. Jamie) would not go out with me, and the girls I didn't like were the ones who would go out with me again.

Sophomore Year: I was slightly smarter sophomore year, and since I had a bathroom in my apartment, I was more likely to bathe on a regular basis. However, as there was not a barbershop in walking distance of my apartment, I was constantly in need of a haircut.

The truth is, I had started dating a girl over the summer I'd met in summer school back home, and I didn't think a lot about "my game". I give myself a "5" for the year.

Junior Year: I was full of idiot confidence beginning my first film production classes, but it had nothing at all to do with meeting girls. I started the year still dating the same girl from Sophomore year, but that was sort of on the skids before school even began.

This was the year I sort of went crazy. I was determined to look the part of a professional and was getting regular haircuts, shaving daily, eating well and spent each morning pressing my shirts before going to class.

I was completely uninterested in dating, and that meant my existing relationship melted down early on in the year. But, as they say, these things tend to fall in your lap when you aren't looking.

Shortly after my other relationship fizzled, I went to see David Bowie with Jamie, and we started dating after that. By dating, I mean, we never actually dated. She just sort of hung her hat and never left.

My game for that year? A "2.3".

Senior Year Numero Uno: Jamie was well planted in my life at this point. I was still in film school and double-majoring in history.

I was smoking cigars a lot and still pressing my shirts. We had a "Phat Beach" poster in my kitchen, and infrequently cleaned.

A solid "2.2".

Senior year Numero Dos: Could not be less impressive. Jamie had sort of lived with me all summer, and I was carrying 18 hours and working. Any hint of "professionalism" I used to try to keep up went out the window.

Also, living in an efficiency by myself, I decided bathing was optional once again. Was smoking a lot of cigarettes and drinking about two pots of coffee a night. I wasn't ever sleeping. Yeah, I got a lot of work done, but I also firmly believed 5 hours of sleep a night was A LOT of sleep.

Game "1.3"

Okay, Leaguers! Time to play! Send in your game...

Friday, November 04, 2005

The League heaps love on Congress

I normally don't take up space here with political mumbo-jumbo. But I want to take a moment to point out that I am really pleased with a recent move by the kids on The Hill.

Check this out.

Don't ask me why, but this issue really, really bothered me. So I'm glad to see it bothered Congress, too.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Why should you watch Smallville tonight?

Because there's a terrific pair you don't want to miss.

Wait, that's not right.

Here's the pair!

Tom Wopat joins John Schneider for tonight's episode of Smallville.

And, yes, the writers have put Lois into a scene where she has to be a stripper for a day.


It seems not all that long ago the show was about a young Superman...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Hey all

There is a post today! It's just not here.

Go to to find it.

Also, according to, I am now uglier than I was a few months ago when I posted my photo. Back then I was a 7. Now I am a 6. How sad. As winter comes, you would think a chubby man would look warmer and more desirable to the ladies.

Oh, and check this out. is a site like where you can rate the ladies of campus I work on. Apparently it's entirely legal to take photos of these girls as they're in public, and even more legal to rate them. SWEET.

According to the usual rules of engagement, the girls are supposed to retaliate with a site where guys get rated from, say, the Union. Hasn't happened.
Babies + Costumes = Content Gold

The League has been swamped lately with a bunch of stuff we'll not go into here. We more or less missed Halloween hanging out at Desert Banner Medical Center as the doctors tried to figure out what to do with Jamie.

My opinion (sell her to the gypsies) was roundly ignored. She had a short surgery on Saturday to fix her, well.. it's complicated. Anyway, she may have more surgery again in the future, but we'll cross that bridge when we ge to it, I guess.

Suffice it to say, Halloween was a bust, and we spent our 10 year anniversary eating Chik-Fil-A off the roll away table in her hospital room.

Football was a hoot this weekend. UT came back from an idiotic defecit to win by an idiotic margin. If I was in Stillwater, i'd be feeling a little bummed about the whole thing.

Fortunately, not everyone had a boring and antiseptic smelling Halloween.

And that's why babies are content gold here at The League.

Arden rocks the house as an elephant

Reed dresses Meredith in proud Vikings purple and gold. He's starting the indoctrination now.
Meredith wouldn't be smiling like that if she knew how the Vikings were doing! Ha ha!

Well, at least he's not dressing her as a Cardinals fan.

And Meredith and Jen among the pumpkins.

Tonight kicked off the official NBA season.

Spurs looked awful and STILL won by a significant margin. Suns looked good, but lost to the evil Dallas Mavs. And I hate Mark Cuban. Won't somebody please kick that moron in the crotch?

The TNT team gained a mime-quiet Reggie Miller, retaining the punch drunk Charles Barkley, affable Kenny Smith and that boring guy, Ernie. Hopefully Reggie will stpe up and talk, because they need as many leashes as possible on Charles. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Sir Charles, but, like the Sunday morning Fox Football show, you need three guys to sort of corral Terry.

Anyway, the season begins! Huzzah for our Suns and Spurs.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

The League's Halloween Costume selections throughout the years!

In lieu of a Halloween contest (which not one of you entered. Judy, I'm looking at you!), a comprehensive look at what I recall dressing up as each year as far back as I can remember.

Pre-school: Clown, I think. I think this was the year it was hot and flooded, but my mom had made a clown costume. So I was a sweaty clown.

Kindergarten: Han Solo. Wore black pants, white shirt, black vest my mother had made. Carried a back toy gun which was not the official licensed Han Solo blaster. I also recall my mother had, in a panic, bought me a plastic Spider-Man costume as she was afraid she wouldn't finish the vest.

1st Grade: Chewbacca. Plastic costume out of a box. I was delighted to be Chewbacca because, unlike being a dude in a white shirt and church pants, nobody asked what I was.

2nd Grade: Hand-sewn ET costume. Thereby hangs a tale for another day, but thank God for my grandmother overcoming her painful arthritis and translating pages and pages of instructions from English to Finnish so she could make me this outfit. I still have it, btw. It's an amazing costume. My grandma was awesome.

3rd Grade: Was going to be "Dracula Jr." until it was pointed out my costume of a hand-made t-shirt reading "Dracula Jr." was, in fact, moronic, even with brylcreme in my hair. Instead, I Carried my sword and shield from the RenFest and wore my plastic spaceman helmet. I was a "space knight".

4th Grade: Tried to go traditional with a white sheet. I was a ghost. I also painted my face white. I remember sweating a lot.

5th grade: No recollection. I went out with this kid, Matt. He was a ninja and carried real throwing stars and I was convinced we'd get arrested.

6th grade: Tore up Dad's old shirt, covered it in fake blood, was an accident victim.

7th grade: same. I do recall we got into a fight with some older kids. I had knownt his might happen and put cans of soup in my "candy bag". I walloped one of the kids in the knee and took him down. Dad got pissed that I tore up another shirt. I remember that one very clearly.

8th grade: black and white face paint. Went to a haunted house somewhere.

9th grade: Nothing. I was doing homework for Mrs. Fort's English class.

10th grade: No costume. Dispersed candy. We'd just moved to Houston and I didn't know anybody.

11th grade: Pimp. Kind of. I wore a bowler and carried a cane and wore a long coat. I went to Jill's house with Mari Johnson who was dressed as a purple fairy.

12th grade: I was Alex from Clockwork Orange for the Drama Club party. Halloween night I was pretty much myself, I think. Sort of a spooky thing in 1992. Went and saw Dracula at the theater across the street from Willowbrook Mall.

Prior to Halloween I went and worked at the American Heart Association's haunted house in Downtown Houston down by Spaghetti Warehouse (this is a nice are now. It wasn't then.). It was a very expensive and cool haunted house. I worked in the "eletrocution room" where I wore a hockey mask and was repeatedly "electrocuted" all night.

Then Frank, the electrocutioner, and myself decided that we needed some drama in our scenario, so we added a fake fight. Unfortunately, as part of our fight, Frank and I slammed into a wall. And then went through the wall. I don't remember how we ended our little scene, but I do recall the very awkward minute as I stood and stared at Frank sort of just lying there on the other side and we were both sort of laughing and sort of horrified.

Well, that's 60 year old dry-wall for you, I guess. I hope we impressed the drunk Houstonians who paid $10 to get in.

Freshman in college: I was SUPPOSED to be a cyborg. But then I had a paper due and didn't go out until midnight. Went to a haunted house on 6th street.

The next day I found out a guy from my floor had used the stuff I was going to use to be a cyborg and applied the pieces with rubber cement, which had basically chemically burned his skin off. A near-miss, to be sure.

Sophomore year: Gangster. A very drunk 1930's era gangster. I went out with three other guys all in "gangster" clothes. It was actually kind of cool. Excpet some dude kept asking us if we'd seen "Big Eddie". He was just drunk enough to believe he was high-larious. He was wrong.

Junior year: recycled gangster, and Jamie was a nun.

Senior year Numero Uno: I had an exam in Roman History: The Republic. Studied my butt off and only got a "B"

Senior year Numero Dos: I'm ashamed to say I think I recycled the gangster costume again. Jamie was a flapper.

1998: I was a zombie! It was a great costume! My make-up rocked. Little kids who saw me thought I was a prop and I made someone cry. Jamie was Catwoman, and she was adorable.

1999: Mad scientist. Jamie had located a white lab coat for me.

However, the prize for that year was Steanso's innovative "The Blair Witch", which comprised of a pair of deely-bobbers. I think Jamie might have been a bee.

2000: I have no recollection. i recall I got home late from work and Jamie was handing out candy, and I had to run and get more. I guess I didn't have a costume. I think Jamie was a bee.

2001: Mad scientist. Mostly I remember we had no trick or treaters because everyone thought there would be anthrax in the candy. Jamie was a cat.

2002: Nothing. Dispersed candy.

2003: Nothing. I wore my Superman T-Shirt under my shirt while i handed out candy

2004: Green Lantern. I wanted to be John Stewart, but I'm a white guy, so I guess I was Hal Jordan. Handed out candy. Jamie was a bee.

2005: I'm looking for a "King" mask from Burger King. If that doesn't pan out, I'll just be Weird Neighbor #12.

All links courtesy the Retrocrush Costume archive.