Robot Sex Dolls Believe the Children are the Future

Maybe it's time we asked STEM programs to include some humanities classes.

Here's how things are going in 2026.  

A New York school system is about to roll out a robotic teaching aid that looks like a person.  The company that produces the robots is called Realbotix.*  My local news pulled this story from NewsNation last week.

This is absolutely the kind of thing that makes any vision I had for what my dystopian future might be now look positively quaint.

But, wait... there's more!

From The Guardian:

Realbotix, formerly Tokens.com, a Toronto-based company, purchased Simulacra, a Las Vegas-based company known for realistic sex dolls, for $16.7m in April 2024, marking a pivot for the company from crypto to humanoid robots.

I mean...  every five words you need to back up and unpack everything in this single sentence all over again.

I'm no communist, but it feels like capitalism is maybe doing a thing again.

And y'all, back in the day, I came down firmly on the side of sexy robots.**  And I am here to say - this ain't it.  This is just creepy no matter how you slice it.  

And, hey, seemingly unrelated, but we're also just now, as a society, dealing with the decades and decades of horrendous conditions created by forcing Native American kids into boarding schools and the nightmarish treatment endured there as unwilling children forcibly had their culture stripped from them.  

Thank goodness we're not targeting any vulnerable populations these days.

But... guess what, y'all?

 

Local residents have also criticized the selection of a high school with a significant Native American population to serve as the testing ground for humanoid robots in the classroom. Nearly 40% of the high school’s student body are Native Americans.

We are all going to hell.

I'm no fan of experimenting on kids - seems wrong somehow.  Especially when you could just be making AI sex-bots for perverts with loose cash and poor social skills.  

If you can't make money from the pervert market, I say you're bad at business.

The only real reason to try to replace flesh and blood teachers with robots is to make sure the kids get *exactly* what someone has put into the database and *only* what is in the database.  No sidebar comments, no contextualization, no answering of tough questions...  Just what's in the lesson plans, word-for-word.  Just have the teacher go full Zoltar if the kid asks a complex question.

If deploying sexbots to classrooms where Native American kids *might* be pushing back against their federally approved history lessons doesn't sound iffy (while said sexbot constantly surveils the room), I really don't know what does.

But at least it'll be kind of sexy, in an Uncanny Valley sort of way.

*yes, I also noted all they have on their front page is a stock ticker.  Not shady at all.

** Part 2 is here