Harvey Dent and Answering Questions

Hey, Leaguers.

Would you vote for Harvey Dent for DA? If this means anything to you, I'd click on the link and then let the image roll over.

The weekend was very busy as weekends tend to be when one is employed. Friday was dinner and margaritas with Matt and Nicole. Saturday was Spider-Man 3 with the Shaws. And Saturday night I began Wii Quest '07. There are no Wii's for sale in South Austin.

Sunday we did some serious yard work, I hung my flag for Memorial Day, and then crashed for a bit. We wound up at Nicole's house for dinner with the Garcia's. It seems Letty is now sporting dual French/US citzenship. So Letty is now one of us Amerikaners. God help her.

And that was it. Busy weekend. I ot four months worth of comics bagged and boarded, but not sorted and entered into the database (that has top happen sooner or later this week). Matt might be staying at our house in the evenings as he sorts out his condo/living situation.

And that's about it.

I am amazed at all of the traffic from my short post asking for questions.

1) Que tegusta hacer cuando jugar con unicornes?

I like to take them in the tub.

2) What's wrong with your stats? An average of 244 visitors/day not enough for you?

The high number is deceptive. It's literally a 95+% looking for pictures. Mostly of naked Supergirl. (Hello Google pre-verts!)

3) Why do you worry so much about how many people are reading your site?

I don't worry about how many people are reading. I worry about people returning. And participating. Or just saying "hi".

4) It all comes down to: do you enjoy it?

Sometimes. Most of the time. But sometimes not.

5) I look forward to hearing your thoughts on the new CBS show, Kid Nation.

I think it's a concept that should have been explored with Survivor, but instead they turned Survivor into Double Dare.

6) The bit about the girl who I couldn't date because she was really into mountain biking....

I know it was confusing, but Jamie + mountain biking = unlikely.

No, that was a my analogy for my former, short lived job. We had very different ideas regarding what I would be doing for a living.

7) I think the RSS stuff has worked itself out.

8) If the only people that read are your Loyal Leaguers and a few randoms that stumble across it, does that make it less fun?

I guess I would compare hosting this blog to, oh, say... dinner theater. It's kind of hacky and dumb, but people show up, if just for the spaghetti. But I'm sort of flying solo up here on the creaky stage, trying to put on a performance every evening. I don't know how many of you have been in a play, but when you're in a show, you can't see the audience. All you can see are the lights. And that's sort of what it's like running this joint. I have no idea who is out there, if I know the people, what sort of people they are. Sure, a few friends said they'd show up, but I can't see them and I don't know where they are.

And every once in a while there's a stretch where the audience doesn't give you so much as a polite cough to let you know they're out there. You think you can kind of see the outline of a few heads, but you finish a big show-stopper, and all you can hear is yourself breathing a bit too hard. Or else you can hear someone in the audience arguing with the wait staff.

That's not to say I'm seeking applause, but as I often say, it's the Leaguers who make it all worthwhile. And sometimes when you've gone for a stretch and you have no idea if anyone is even showing up (or else the place is being flooded with senior citizens for the Tuesday Night $2.00 special, who aren't going to watch the show, anyway), you sort of want to say, "Okay, let's not run the show tonight."

And, anyway... Blogging takes time. And it's work, even when it's fun.

So, yeah, sometimes you want to take a look out form behind the curtain to see how many are in the house before you bother to get into costume.


9) Maybe you should have guest host, like they do occasionally on the Late Show or Tonight Show. So you start to feel burned out...turn it over to Stephen Harms for a week. Or Randy or Jim D.

I dunno. It's sort of a personal journal. That's a bit like letting your borther fill in your diary because you're out of town for a few days.


So, anyway, I hope this answers some questions.

Hope everyone is doing well.

From All Star Superman, which you should be reading...

Sorry for no Monday post. It's late and I had Comic Fodder work to do.

Hope your weekend was good.

Too Close to Home

Sometimes you see something on TV that makes you sort of do a bit of soul-searching, even when it was never intended to cause that bit of soul-searching. Or not.

As I mention here upon occasion, I am well aware of my low-level, basic social dysfunction, but part of that awareness is also the awareness that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

And so I was watching VH-1's Acceptable TV a while back, and saw this sketch. And as funny as I find it, when I mentioned to Jamie that maybe I identified a bit too much with Gar, she certainly didn't argue.

So, as it turns out, I'm "Gar the Unbearable".

Questions Para El League

Okay. I don't feel much like blogging for the next few days. Such is the fate of checking your Sitemeter statistics.

So I open the floor to you, the readership, to ask any and all questions of The League of Melbotis. I will answer them when I return.

Go nuts.

Also, this show will be on in the Fall. I think it looks pretty cool.

10 REASONS I'D MAKE A GOOD ZOMBIE

I just saw 28 Weeks Later, and it got me thinking. There are many reasons I might make a good Zombie.

1) Team Player. Let's face it, one zombie on his or her own isn't usually that scary. That's why you have to work as a team. I'm no complainer, so I think that if all the other Zombies want to drift toward some boarded up house and I didn't want to, I'd probably still help the team terrorize the victims within just to let my fellow Zombies know I'm there for them at such a challenging time.

2) Not a picky eater. It's no secret that the Bros. Steans like their food, and part of that means enjoying trying new things. Most Zombies enjoy brains, but I'd be willing to try an ear or leg so everyone could have a shot at our victim.

3) Not a stickler for staying super clean. Part of being a Zombie is drooling your own blood down the front of your shirt, as well as getting splattered with the blood of your victims. This might bug some Zombies, but not me.

4) Not much of a runner. The League likes to walk at a brisk pace, but we think we've already got the ambling pace of a zombie down pretty well. Now, I guess if we were one of "the infected" as per "28 Weeks Later", we'd have to work out some sort of undead workout regimen to keep up

5) Able to use a claw on a hammer. Many Zombies burst through boarded up windows using their body mass and either shoving or getting a mass of like-minded Zombies pushing with them. I would use the claw side of a hammer to safely remove nails so as to avoid injury to my rotting flesh

6) Can walk off injuries. Zombies are famous for wandering about with bits of their bodies missing, from limbs to eyes to gaping chest cavities. One nice thing about playing sports as a kid is that when the team needs you, you can sort of shake it off and keep moving. I think i can bring that to Team Zombie when someone puts a machete into my sternum.

7) Lots of mass, big guy. I'm a sizable fellow, and every crowd of Zombies needs a hulking Zombie that looks really menacing in the establishing shot. Sure, my natural good looks might keep me from appearing too menacing, but I'm sure after a few days of flesh sloughing off in sheets, I'd make a swell Zombie to really demand attention when our troupe first appears.

8) Well manicured teeth and strong jaws. Sure, I've had a few cavities here and there, and I suffer from a small under bite, but I think that when I'd go into a Blood Frenzy, other Zombies might really admire the way I can rend flesh and bone with my well cared for choppers and powerful jaw muscles.

9) Can take criticism. Everyone was new at being a Zombie at some point. And, heck, most Zombies that appear are only on the job a short while before they recruited you. But that doesn't mean that I can't hear what they have to say about my technique and form as a Zombie. No one is such a good Zombie that they can't learn a little from some constructive criticism.

10) Long term strategy. Look, you can go ahead and invade the shopping mall or try to overtake London, but what then? Zombies owe it to themselves to think long-term and really organize. Otherwise it becomes embarrassing after a while when you're just drifting around the streets saying "More brains..." when you know darn well there are no more brains. If the vampires know how to keep their food supply going, so should we.


I guess what I'm saying is that I'd be a goal oriented Zombie. Some are going to say that Zombie's are misunderstood and that the undead are a wide and diverse bunch who defy stereotyping. That may be true, but I'm not afraid to recognize that a Zombie's primary functions are to:

a) terrorize the living
b) eat brains
c) make more zombies

So with the 10 factors above, I think I could really make a bang-up Zombie.


Bonus Feature:

Also, I asked Jason tonight if he were armed only with an umbrella and had his choice of facing down a Zombie from 28 Weeks Later or a Gorn from the Star Trek episode "The Arena", which he might pick... Can you guess which creature he thought he could take?

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Mother-In-Law Day

Hey, Leaguers!

I gave my own Ma some props for Mother's Day, but I failed to give a shout out to Jamie's mom, Judy.

Judy's had a rough Spring as she had a weird scare with what appeared on her CAT Scan as a sort of Brain Cloud. We were all pretty nervous as they had to perform some surgery on Judy's noodle in order to figure out what was going on. Well, the surgery went pretty well and Judy is recovering nicely. And now she has a metal plate in her skull and the ability to bend spoons with her mind.

Judy has gone above and beyond in her mothering duties, and not just because she didn't run me off with a pitchfork (though I am sure she was and continues to be sorely tempted). Judy's always really helped us out with managing Jamie's complicated health paperwork, come up with creative ideas for our unique lifestyle situation and never hesitated to run to wherever we are when Jamie's been under the weather.

We're glad Judy's recovering. We just hope she's following orders and not lifting anything heavier than one pound.

So, today we salute you Judy! It's just really creepy now when you get mad and all the metal in the house starts flying out of the drawers and off the shelves.