Monday, October 27, 2008


The 28th marks the 13th anniversary of my time with Jamie.

13 years, which is also more than 1/3rd of my life, as I recently mentioned, and I tend to think every day is a little better than the one before, even when life throws us a roadblock.

So, recently I perfected my time machine in order to go back and discuss certain things with my younger self, in order to correct some issues in my life. However, I forgot that the earth isn't just revolving around the sun at 66,000 miles per hour, the universe is constantly expanding, which meant I wound up in deep space. It needs to be a time AND space machine. Something I would think that, if I'd figured it out, I would have come back in time and told my self the solution by now...

Unless future me is accidentally tumbling through dimensions trying to find the same timeline where he began, instead of hopelessly lost in a maze of possible futures... or possibly not existing at ALL, thanks to the fact that he had already changed his own past...

Anyhoo... that's all academic until I get cold fusion working in my office.

So let's get the list cobbled together of what I would tell the Ryan of 1995 that would be of benefit to him now:

1) Carbo-loading is not a competitive sport
2) If you don't want the short, polite letters from grad schools, you might want to try a little harder in that Speech class.
3) Instead of telling everyone that you don't understand how Google is going to make money, go ahead and get in on that dutch auction. But sell by Spring of '08.
4) This new girl? The one you're thinking must be secretly crazy and so you're waiting for the other shoe to drop and find out what's wrong with her? It's not going to happen. She is what she seems. And better.
5) She isn't going to ever ask you to be anything but yourself
6) She's going to show you what it means to look adversity in the eye in a way that will forever humble you
7) She will know you better than anyone, and she'll love you anyway
8) No matter how tempting, do not vote for Nader
9) Take it easy on your review of "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist". She will threaten to never see a movie with you again.
10) A film degree? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA

Happy Anniversary, Jamie. I can't believe its been 13 years since you watched me drink a pack of Mickey's to celebrate Bug's birthday. What a rousing start to our relationship.

Sorry the flowers showed up a day early. Tuesday is going to be a little anticlimactic.


J.S. said...

I don't mean this to sound too critical, but you sure seem to spend a lot of time on regret and second guessing yourself. Maybe you should focus harder on pretending what the future you will be like ten years into the future, and then try to guess what advice future you would give if he came back and talked to The League today. Might help you avoid some of future angst about decisions you're making right now.

The League said...

You're right. That did sound pretty critical.

This was mostly not about regretting the past and more about informing past me about how things would pan out with Jamie. The rest was all fluff.

Sorry if that wasn't clear.

J.S. said...

Yeah. It wasn't clear.
But congrats to you and Jamie.

Anonymous said...

Yay Ryan and Jamie. I talked to Jamie this afternoon and we did laugh about Erica's b-day party so many years ago. It also refreshed my memory that Josh and I have also been together 13 years. Yikes! Hope you have a wonderful dinner- I still think of us all as 20-year olds. I guesss I need to get past that...


Michael Corley said...

Your first last held special significance, for they would be the same (inserting only "Audio Degree") advice to my young whip of a self.

Oh, and the time machine? Calibrate it to latch on to a permanent resident atom. Something that will be coexistant in both times in easily accesable places. A stone from a building would do nicely. That keeps you from warping into the rings of uranus.

Michael Corley said...

Durh... forgot to write what I meant to in the first place, you know how time travel distracts me.

Happy Anniversary you two crazy cats!

The League said...

Michael, I'm working on that resident atom thing, but my math works out that the energy I would need with my current technology would require the power from exploding the core of the planet. Great for going back, but there's not much of a "now" to return to.

Shannon, I think you and Josh have a handful of months on Jamie and myself. And while I like to think of myself as young and fun, but I think you and Josh's new bundle of joy, it's one more step forcing us all down the road to unfortunate maturity.

Give Owen a high-five for me.

Anonymous said...

I think you've been reading too much comic books.

Happy Anniversary, btw. Jaime's a saint.

Anonymous said...

All this week -- you're not going to believe it -- the date 10/27 was sticking in my head for some significant reason that I could not remember. Cosmic.