It's Christmas (Talk) in July! aka: The League Holiday Special

So, of course, part of the problem is that my idea for a Holiday Special was pretty much what Colbert did in 2008. Talented and amazing The League may be, but we strongly suspect that we're not going to outdo Colbert on this thing.

I'm thinking a 10 minute video (anything longer suggests effort), but we'll see. Could be longer or shorter. Might not get around to it at all.

But here's the thing: It's going to be a lot more fun if I can get you guys to participate.

I know that July 1st might seem a spot early to bring this up, but we'll probably start producing this thing as early as October. So that's, really, like 3 or four months away.


...our benchmark for quality

Some rules...

A) This is a family show, Leaguers. I don't mind a few swears, but The KareBear and Judy are going to watch this thing. So, you know...
B) Anything sent in needs to be fairly decent quality. By that I mean, if the camera is laying on its side, or we can't actually hear you, then I'm probably not going to be able to use it. Don't worry, we're going to have issues here, too.
C) It HAS to be about the Holidays in some way. It can be about Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, etc... We're working with a theme here, Leaguers.


Bowie and Crosby got nothing on my Leaguers

Here's what we're looking for:

1) Volunteers for guest appearances. If you'd like to actually appear in a portion of the video, lemme know. That would require a few hours on some weekend. We may require you to sing and dance. No, seriously.

2) Send in your video. This isn't a call for random people to send me a video. You pretty much MUST QUALIFY AS A LEAGUER (you know who you are. Exceptions granted for Lynda Carter, Christina Hendricks, Shatner or other non-Leaguers of note. In fact, those three are welcome to come over any time.).
I'm not placing any restrictions on what you send in. If you make a jerk of yourself, you make a jerk of yourself.
However... Keep it short. No longer than 1 minute. Unless you're sending in the best video of all time. Then we can negotiate.

3) Original Songs. If you want to send in a song for The League to sing, we're up for that. Or you can sing it yourself. But... it should be about 90 seconds.

4) Poems, stories, etc... I don't really know what I mean by this, but send your stuff in, and we'll see if we can't figure out how to squeeze it in.

So if you're wondering: No. I don't have a script yet. I kind of want to see what we get, to an extent. But I'm starting to get some ideas together, thinking about how to put a song or two together, that sort of thing. And, of course, planning to decorate for Christmas early this year, if need be.

Anyhow, I hope you guys want to participate in some way.

So, let's make it a Jolly Holiday.



The League is looking out for your Holiday Season

Tell 'Em That it's Human Nature

somewhere I have a vinyl record of Michael Jackson reading the story of E.T. This image was included in the packaging.



I really wanted to put this image on our wedding invitation. Did not happen.

The Maxx

The Maxx that I cared about in the 1990's was not the soda shop frequented by the "Saved By The Bell" kids.

I had not read Sam Keith's comic when The Maxx debuted on MTV circa 1994. It was part of the Image onslaught of comics that my wallet couldn't handle, and too many of which focused on art over story or substance in an era when Neil Gaiman was writing Sandman, Grant Morrison was writing The Invisibles, Garth Ennis was starting to make some noise in the US, and ideas like "Kid Eternity" were a viable part of the comic landscape (and, I should mention, Marvel had just done the Clone Wars deal and was close to filing for bankruptcy).

And then, between Beastie Boys videos, I saw the ads for The Maxx.

The Maxx

As it happens once in a while, I was a fan of the cartoon before I was a fan of the comic. I enjoy the Hulk movies, but never get too far with the comics. Same for Iron Man. I suppose one could say I was a fan of the Superman movies and cartoons prior to my interest in the comics, so I guess it applies here, to an extent.

It would be fairly far into the episodes of The Maxx that it would become clear to me that The Maxx was never really intended to be about dimension-hopping superheroics and, instead, was much more about somebody's (I'd suggest Sam Keith's) issues with women. If Superman was the man the Clark Kents of the world wished they could be to impress their Lois, then The Maxx was somebody working out their feelings both about who they wished they could be (still oddly grotesque and sort of slow), mixed in equal parts with who they strongly suspected they appeared to be to the world (a badly dressed hobo in a box with violent tendencies).

The series didn't make it as a cartoon on MTV (and I mourn the loss of an MTV that was trying new things all the time, from The Maxx to Aeon Flux). It did run as a fairly successful creator-owned series at Image for about 35 issues, plus spin-off's and tie-ins'.


The Maxx does not care to debate what the definition of what "Isz" is.

I'm not sure a literal reading of The Maxx, no matter how surreal the material and art, is what Keith had in mind. But its also difficult at times to discern exactly what he was trying to do, exactly, other than create an access point to approach certain characters and stories he wanted to work through. Were the "Isz" the ugly truth trying to drag down The Maxx? If the Outback wasn't real, and the "real world" wasn't real, then...

Anyway, it was a beautiful use of the medium as storytelling device, and the art and layout astoundingly handled, with no choice made arbitrarily.

At one point I had a fairly complete Maxx collection, but I believe it disappeared during a purge a while back. It's a fun read, but I decided to just hang on to the trade apperback collections released a few years ago and available at quality comic shops (and online) from DC.

Its been a long, long time since I read much in the way of The Maxx, but MTV has recently brought the entire cartoon series online. The cartoons are exact panels from the comics, with what I'd consider to be good voice acting. It's a bit of a trippy cartoon. But in the 1990's, when I was surprised if a comic character's costume was even the right color, seeing a comic so literally translated out of the comic format was an absolute revelation.

Click here to see the series online.

The series does touch on subject matter that has become a bit verboten in the ensuing years, at least in part because some of Julie's origin specifics became overused in less than well-handled fashion. But it was also an interesting mix of people behaving like people and a cracked out world of superheroes, wild psychic landscapes and flying whales. All fitting within a specific vision.

Keith would go on to do other series, like Zero Girl, Four Women and others, including a Batman comic series or two. I still feel, when I read his independent work, that he's working his way through something.

Years and years ago, a Maxx Christmas ornament was my first eBay purchase (and visitors to League HQ during the Holiday season can find it on the tree). And a Maxx action figure (with Isz) resides on my desk.

It may be about time I re-watched the cartoon and/ or re-read the series.

A few quick items

Editor's note: We're giving over tonight's full column to Leaguer Nathan C. So here's a few tidbits. I invite you to read Nathan's column in its entirety.

Achewood and Jacko

Ray Smuckles on the death of Michael Jackson. This is the column I wish I had written.

also here.

Jon & Kate: Cultural Implications

On Friday, I saw two women, both in their 40's, who had the same haircut as Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate Plus Eight. It was bound to happen, I suppose. We may become adults, but we still find ourselves imitating the people we look up to. I've been wearing a pant suit since Hillary announced her nomination.

One offender was on campus, most likely retrieving her child from a camp or from Freshman Orientation. The other was at Texadelphia with her husband, whom I wanted to take aside and instruct that, yes... when your wife begins to idolize a TLC star, its okay to run for your life.

I ponder the army of Kate-haired fans at a Barnes & Noble, all lined up for a signing of "Eight Little Faces", and I tremble.

Wagner's Back in Town!

Heather Wagner has finally completed her three year sojourn in Lubbock where she was completing her masters in Speech Therapy. She's now back in Austin and on the job hunt (so if you've got some speech issues and need some help...).

To make matters interesting, Wagner is living with a friend, also named Heather. Other Heather seems like a swell dame.

GI Joe

I may be rethinking this GI Joe movie. Yes, indeed.

Thank you, Hollywood, for knowing I don't care if I'm pandered to.

But I'm still not seeing your movie.

Guest Column: Nathan C has "A Few Words About the Gloved One"

Editor's Note: As I mentioned, Nathan was the first to alert me to Jackson's death. Nathan Cone has, since I met him, unapologetically and (I believe) unironically adored the work of Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5. And, in fact, for no particular reason I can recall, I associate The Jackson 5's "ABC" with Nathan. I assume we grooved to it together sometime in the mid-90's.

He's been so gracious as to share a few words eulogizing The King of Pop, and a few personal memories.


A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE GLOVED ONE
by Nathan Cone

Incidentally, that was always my favorite nickname for Michael Jackson, “The Gloved One.”

The League knows that I have a special place in my heart and in my record collection for great R&B. Michael Jackson, and his brothers in the Jackson 5, provided a slice of heaven to this listener every time I dropped the needle on one of their records. From “I Want You Back” to “Smooth Criminal,” few could match the grooves of MJ.

A lot of folks in the media went on and on about his music, and of course his problems, but I’ve noticed very few commented on his dancing skills (NPR was an exception). I’ve been re-watching a lot of video clips this weekend, and he was an astonishing talent. He was graceful, like Fred Astaire. He was so much more than the Moonwalk and the crotch grab, and I think a lot of people forget that.

Thriller. Amidst the impressive statistic that it’s the best-selling album of all time, I think even more incredible is the fact that seven of the nine songs on the album were hit singles! Wow.

I was as shocked as anyone to hear of Michael Jackson’s passing last Thursday, but not really conflicted about it. I had already gone through the mourning process years ago, right around the time of the Lisa Marie Presley marriage and on-stage kiss, I believe. MJ addressed his weirdness with a self-knowing humor in the video and song “Leave Me Alone,” but by the 1990s, he was just pissed off, and backed away from the public eye. So despite a few musical salvos from the Gloved One, we’ve really been without the Michael we know for 15+ years. He had long since moved from being on top of the world to being a punch line, and that’s no place to be.

I always wished Michael Jackson would call up Quincy Jones. Clearly their collaborations had a kind of magic to them, like Miles Davis & Gil Evans. I can only imagine what would have happened had they decided to work together again.

Finally, although the League, Mrs. League, Bug, and the rest of the Trinity crew can attest that my imitation of the Jackson 5’s “I Want You Back” dance routine was inspired but weak, I was a badass at the “Moonwalker” video game.

Three memories:

1. When “Thriller” premiered on MTV, I remember sitting in front of the TV with my brother Marcus, eating Oreos and watching the video. (And even at 10 years of age, I thought that disclaimer about the occult on the front end was odd.)

2. My friend David Hardisty had one of the “Beat It” red knock-off jackets. I tried it on, knew I looked like a complete dork wearing it, and promptly removed it.

3. While home in Spring during college, David Wilcox and I went to Sound Warehouse one night, and I bought “Off The Wall” on cassette. I think David felt that in the early 1990s, it was a very kitschy, post-grunge thing to do, to drive up and down F.M. 1960 blasting “Rock With You.” But I think secretly he loved the music as much as me.

So long, Gloved One.


Bonus Memory: One of my earliest Jackson memories involves the totally over-the-top video for the Jacksons’ “Can You Feel It.” Dick Clark introduced it on American Bandstand one afternoon, remarking about the incredible visuals. Years later, it’s kind of cheesy, and amazing that the sound effects overpower the music throughout most of the song, but this is a cool video. Dig the way the Jacksons portray themselves as demi-gods. Ha ha!

The League Obtains: A Cousin

So, Cousin Sue has adopted a fresh faced kid.

After 34 years, The League is no longer the youngest on that side of the family (second cousins Michael and Kathy are younger than me on the Steans-side).

I have to check with Sue before I start naming names and invade privacy of a tween-ager, so bear with me. The kid is not an infant or toddler, and so the rules are a bit different. I need to be careful so that her classmates don't track her down via this blog and all that, so... I need to come up with some sort of pseudonym. And remember a camera next time, but...

I really liked this kid. Sharp and she was happy to chat. She's going to make a fine addition to the clan.

We met up for lunch and then went to Star Trek. Showing remarkable taste, she seemed to like it quite a bit. We're going to get along just fine.

Billy Mays: The Great Beyond's Newest Pitchman

What a strange, strange week.

Television pitchman Billy Mays joins McMahon, Fawcett and Jackson as the fourth celebrity death in a week. Mays was a smaller blip on the cultural radar than any of other three, but was a television fixture for several years.

He was the gentleman with the unmistakable voice and beard who I first recall seeing pitching "Oxi-Clean".



Leaguers, I know this sounds a little weird, but I actually did wind up buying Oxi-Clean, and that stuff works wonders on the many potential stains my pets leave around the house. So if you don't trust Billy Mays, there's your unpaid endorsement from a trusted source.

Mays might have been yet another bizarre fixture of bad-timeslots on TV, but had recently been a part of a show called "Pitchmen" on the Discovery Channel. I've seen an episode or two, and it was interesting to see how the whole process works. And, of course, you got to see Mays as more than just a gadfly intensely hawking products.

At last check, no details had been forthcoming around May's death, except that he had been on a flight that had a rough landing. Mays was quoted an mentioning that he'd hit his head.

Folks might dislike Mays as they associate him with the annoyance that is the infomercial, but as the Oxi-Clean thing worked out for me, and I liked his how on Discovery, I thought he was okay.

So long, Billy. You went too soon.