Well, I'm back. We're back. Jason and I flew out for my grandmother's funeral Thursday and came back tonight.

I hate flying, by the way. Even when everything goes as smoothly as possible, as it did during our travels, there's nothing pleasant about air travel.

I'm 6'5", and Jason is slightly taller. I wear something like a 52 long jacket thanks both to girth and shoulders that occasionally scrape when I walk through the right doorway, jumping into airplane seats is something I do with a terrific amount of caution. Likewise my brother. So the standard coach seating, which is designed for someone of lilliputian proportions, makes flying a literally painful experience. Jason referred to our seating as "CIA approved stress positions" at one point, and I can't argue.

Add in the the rumor that airlines want to weigh you and charge you for your seat by your weight (something I both can and cannot do anything about), and that some airlines, such as Southwest, want to charge you for two seats if you're a certain width (something i quite literally can do nothing about. Sorry. The bones are what the bones are), I'm beginning to think I've had it with the privilege of flying.

And, really, that's increasingly how the older carriers treat their service. $15 for a checked bag (we paid it). $4 for a bag of trail mix (we declined). Ever decreasing leg space to jam in more seats. Flight attendants who treat you as an inconvenience. Intentionally over booked flights. Overscheduled airports.

The folks who fly, and fly a lot... as well as folks with influence (ie: dough) might not notice all of this in First Class. I've sat in First Class, and it is a vey, very different experience. And you pay for that different experience. 2-4x what the plebes in coach are paying. Plus, your bathroom to passenger ratio is so, so much better up front.

And, mostly, I don't fly. But there are the times like a family funeral where two days on the road isn't really an option (plus the cost of gas at $4.00 per gallon). And that's when I'm going to have to get coach seats and cram my fat butt between the little aluminum rails that they have on the exit row (yeah, we landed exit row. We were really lucky). But, seriously, the flight was only 2.5 hours long from Tampa to Dallas, and 30+ minutes from Dallas to Austin, and I can feel it in my back and legs still, five hours later.

It seems like American Airlines, in particular, has issues with their seats. I'm not sure if its too many other airlines. It seems like Northwest had good seats. And maybe Southwest.

FYI: The family is doing pretty well, all things considered.

Anyhow, I'm tired.

I'm off

Tomorrow Jason and I are off to Florida for my grandmother's funeral. We'll be meeting up with my Dad's side of the family in central Florida. The funeral is Friday. Saturday we're back on an aeroplane and should be home before too late in the evening.

So, you know, expect blogging until Monday to be pretty light.

In the meantime, you can visit Jamie's blog. Or Lauren's blog. Or Steven's, for that matter. Or any of the blogs in my "League Links" section.

No pressure to update your blogs, guys.

I'll also not be seeing "The Dark Knight" until after all the rest of you. So, you know, no spoilers, please.

And I'm not going to be attending the Astros v. Cubs game in Houston. Nor will I get to catch up with any Houston friends, like we'd planned. Sorry, ya'll. And sorry to the Astros, who really could have used my support vs. The Cubs.

I hope the rest of your week goes well.

Comic Fodder

There's a new Comic Fodder post up. This one is based on a conversation I had with Meredith and appropriate Batman material for her kids, aged between 2 and 5.

The past few days have not been banner days at League HQ.

This made me feel a bit better. Radiohead covering New Order.



found at BeaucoupKevin.com

Batman (1966)

As much as I consider myself a Superman nut, as much as I dig the Green Lantern Corps and Wonder Woman... my love of superheroes, and, in fact, my life is indelibly linked with Batman. In fact, it all started with the 1960's TV show featuring Adam West and Burt Ward.

As a very young kid, I was Bat-crazy. There are stories that suggest that "Batman" was my first word. Apparently, when I was very tiny, they re-ran the old Batman episodes on a local affiliate every day at the time my Mom would start on dinner. And for whatever reason, as a VERY tiny kid, putting me in front of Batman would keep me from freaking out and doing the things kids of that age can do to distract nice Moms who are making dinner.

Its also Steans family lore that as soon as I could put words together, I was tying my blanket around my neck and singing the Batman theme song. This was followed by collecting what must have been Mego Batman dolls, Batmobiles, etc... And, in all honesty, it never really stopped.

And I've never quit digging the old Batman show. Sure, when I was little, I had no idea it was being played for laughs. Adam West seemed not unlike my Dad in unflattering tights, and it seemed reasonable that The Admiral was off fighting crime in much the same way. Moreover, it seemed reasonable that crooks and criminals were brightly dressed weirdos with themed criminal plots, who really weren't going to hurt anyone.

Today Jamie and I went to see the 1966 movie of "Batman" at the Alamo, which was playing a free kid's matinee.

I was pleasantly surprised to see the theater was very full, and full of kids. Prior to the show, they played an episode of the most recent animated Batman series. Then, just before the lights went down, an Alamo employee addressed the audience from behind a convincing Batman mask, and informed the kids that only bad guys talk during movies. Heck, I was convinced.

The movie was released theatrically between the first and and second seasons of the TV show. I'd always thought it to be created prior to the series, so it goes to show you: You learn a new Bat-Fact every day. And, apparently, had its world premier here in sunny Austin because, it seems, the boat was manufactured in Austin. Possibly at the Paramount (I'm looking for photos to confirm)!


Jason and Reed: ready for a night on the town

The movie and series hold up pretty well, all things considered. There's something off-kilter about the show that I've always liked, as if every was hanging out and smoking a Kool about ten seconds before the cameras rolled, and then threw themselves headfirst into the insanity.

West's Batman has become iconic since the show first aired. Utterly serious, while delivering the awesomest dialog ever.

Batman: We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over...
Chief O'Hara: Take over *what*, Batman? Gotham City?
Batman: Any *two* of them would try that!
Commissioner Gordon: The whole country?
Batman: If it were three of them, I would say yes, but *four*? Their minimum objective must be... the *entire* world.

Really, I hesitate to seriously ponder how much of my personality is imprinted from Mr. West.

Burt Ward's Boy Wonder is great, as is Alan Napier's Alfred. But what really sells the film is the cast of villains.

My favorite of the Bat-villains from the TV show was always Frank Gorshin as The Riddler. I particularly like Dini's take on Edward Nigma in recent issues of Detective, but its hard to beat Gorshin's sheer joy at befuddling the Caped Crusader. Plus, those costumes are iconic.


Villainy abounds!

Burgess Meredith and Caesar Romero are good as The Penguin and Joker are pretty good, too.

Topping the list, however, is Lee Meriwether as Catwoman/ Kitka. Apparently Julie Newmar had a prior commitment during filming, but I think Ms. Meriwether more than fills the catsuit. Yowza.


Meow.

Apparently I'm not the only one who appreciates Ms. Meriwether as Catwoman. Mr. Romero is very "hands on" with Catwoman in several scenes, particularly in the Penguin submarine. Seriously. With that make-up, its a little creepy.

The movie also features one of my favorite aspects of Batman in all his incarnations: the vehicles! Batcopter. Batcycle. Batmobile. Awesome.



The Batman TV series left an amazingly deep impression upon the public's concept of the superhero. I still remember going to see Burton's "Batman" on opening weekend and the theater had decorated the lobby with all of these hand-made "Bam! Wap! Pow!" signs all over the place.

To say that the show wasn't a fairly accurate representation of the comics of the time is a bit of a stretch. The comic was very light kid's fair at the time, and was mostly Batman and his pal Robin in light scrapes. And while not exactly Tolstoy, it wasn't necessarily set up for laughs the way the TV series was.

It seems the post Spider-Man movie world has finally shaken off the Batman TV series impression of how superheroes should be viewed. And, in fact, it's sort of a game in the comics' blogosphere to highlight articles where the writer uses phrases like "Bam! Pow!", or comments that comics aren't as silly or childish as they'd assumed. (That's been a staple of mainstream journalism since Burton's Batman bowed in 1989, yet writers in search of a fluff article keep re-discovering this same topic.)

From anecdotal evidence, I think most parents today grew up with Burton's Batman, Donner's Superman and had the whole experience capped with Raimi's Spider-Man. So the legacy of the 60's Batman isn't the pervasive thing it was. And I think that's actually, as it should be.

The 1960's Batman is very good at what it does. The cast is terrific. Its a fun show (especially the movie). And I think there's room for all sorts of interpretations of Batman, from Bale's grim Dark Knight to West's philosophizing playboy on the town. And I think it's a fantastic part of the legacy of Batman.

Mostly, I was pleased with how the kids seemed to like it, if their silence throughout the film was any indication.

I did mention to Jamie, as we were leaving and I was processing the film in my mind "You know, about two-thirds of the way through, I felt like I had been taking crazy pills." The kaleidoscope colors, rapid pacing, nonsensical plot and, really, haphazard pacing of the thing just sort of adds up to a unique and strange whole. As pointed out by a kid leaving the theater...

Mom: Did you like it?
Kid: Yeah! (pause) It was weird...
Mom: Well, it was supposed to be.

That is one hip, hip mom.

DCU Online - Game Trailer

here's the official DCU Online trailer that will be shown at E3.



And, hey DCU online... that offer still stands. I already live in Austin, I have PM experience. Let me know what I can do for you.

Meredith comes to the blogosphere

hey, this keeps me from having to blog anything tonight! I've found something worth reading so you don't have to get your daily supplement of blogginess from The League today.

My old high school pal, Meredith, has started up a blog. Meredith is good people, so you should head over there and see what you can see.

And if you're a former Klein Oak Panther, make sure you pop over to her comments section and identify yourself to Mere. I know she's want to say "howdy".

Grandma Ross

In case you didn't see mention of this at Jason's blog, my grandmother passed away yesterday afternoon. I am still processing the emotion that comes along with losing family. Our family is small, and so while we rarely attend family funerals, each death is a reminder of just how few of us there are in my family and extended family.

The grandmother who passed was my father's mother, Katherine Ross (she had been remarried for a long, long time before I was born. Thus the different last name). The passing was of natural causes.

I hope you'll forgive me if I choose not to go into some lengthy post on the topic.

Also, I'll be leaving for Florida in a day or so to be gone for an as-yet-to-be-decided amount of time, so when the blog goes dark for a few days, bear with me.

If you have any grandparents still with you, do me a favor and let them know you care about them, okay?

Update on the Cone Kids

Nathan sent this along last week. Here we see Max and Sam, Nathan's lovely children, revelling in the success of their latest crime spree.




Note the intense expression on Max's face. What sort of plan is he masterminding even now?

Truly, a heart of darkness beats beneath that wagon on his bib.

Samantha, on the other hand, is the woman of action who should have her fists registered as lethal weapons.

Hellboy II? Why the hell not?

So the relatively small action flick, Hellboy, has spawned a sequel.

I enjoyed the first film, but felt like you could almost feel the edges of the film that couldn't be explored as it was written and designed with a certain budget in mind. Multi-million dollar movie, sure... but of an unknown, untested character with some pretty terrific weirdness behind it all.

But I really liked the three main protagonists, with Abe Sapien, Liz Sherman and Hellboy. The villains were bizarre and cool, and the threat appropriately apocalyptic for our hero to challenge.


Also, I believe Selma Blair to be sort of a fox.

Mostly, though, I think Ron Perlman is super great as Hellboy. I love the direct, uncomplicated guy who happens to be able to take on world-threatening baddies. All without a Will Smith "Ah, hell naw!" In a lot of ways, Hellboy is sort of a great stand-in for how I think many guys see themselves. Unpleasant, uncouth, and hoping their capable enough working with what they know to get the job done. But a totally different guy when it comes to dealing with their significant other.

The plot has an odd ring of familiarity as so many superhero films have been hitting the screen. A villain with a plan for ending the world, some personal problems, and a nick of time ending. In some ways, the plot of Hellboy II feels, in some ways, a little too much like the plot for Hellboy I, only streamlined. Instead, director Del Toro focuses on the dreamlike imagery you might remember from Pan's Labyrinth, presented on a grander scale.


This looks like the group shots of my prom pictures

And, really, no matter what else you might be skeptical about, Hellboy II is visually stunning. The dialog can be a bit clunky, and the action sequences a bit disorienting, but the creature scenes here are the best mass creature scenes since Luke Skywalker walked into a cantina.

I'm not guaranteeing its the best movie you're going to see, but its a good summer popcorn flick with surprisingly developed characters for a movie starring a red guy with an arm that came from Steelcase.

Del Toro might always have scripts that feel like they could be a bit more developed, but you have to salute him as a visionary. He's able to bring not just cool visuals (which movies like "Chronicles of Riddick do, and yet fail), but also a solid action film with a good deal of heart.

Wanted: Not Wanted

I forgot to mention I saw "Wanted" on Monday. Before you start looking to see a movie this weekend, I want to throw in with Randy here. The James MacAvoy/ Angelina Jolie/ Morgan Freeman movie "Wanted" isn't terribly good.

I don't know why. It seemed to have lots of plot elements I should have enjoyed and the idea behind the movie sort of had potential. But (1) it sort of ripped off Star Wars in some ways from a plot perspective, and (2) it refused to actually explore the space set up by the movie, which actually seemed interesting. Also, the title "Wanted" had nothing to do with anything.

The movie seemed as if it had potential to be an over-the-top dark comedy of sorts, but that, flat out, didn't happen. Instead they went the action movie route towards a terribly unsatisfactory denouement.

I also keep hearing how great Angelina Jolie was in "28 Days", but this is like the third movie I've seen her in, and I don't get it. She seemed as if she was barely registering in the movie, and mistakes "looking as if you're thinking about being somewhere else" for mysterious. I'm also one of the rare guys you'll find who doesn't find Joile attractive. (A) I look at her and see Joe Buck in makeup, and (b) she's gotten so scrawny by this movie, its sort of tough to take her seriously as someone who could take you in a fight.

MacAvoy is okay. No problem there. The material just wasn't ready to support what he should have been doing in the role. There's a few moments of slow-mo brilliance that lets you know what he should have been doing for the duration of the movie and who the character COULD have been.

The movie spends the first 2/3rds setting up a world, which is really too long. About, seriously, five minutes showing that world in action, and then the last 1/3rd taking the world apart. It's just a terribly clunky way to balance a story, and sort of makes you feel that the action taken to get you through the first part so you can get to the second is sort of a waste. Like "Men in Black", the creators are so interested in introducing you to "how things work", there's just not much room for a story.

At the end of the day, the movie could have drawn you into the world of super-human assassins and their world of moral ambiguity. I'm reminded of the engrossing environment and characters of "Fight Club", and the unapologetic approach to characters who sneer at mundane work-a-day life. That seems to be the message "Wanted" thinks its offering up, but they sort of forget that (a) killing people is illegal and won't get you very far, and (b) most people don't suddenly find out their anxiety attacks are actually supper powers bubbling to the surface (yeah, that's a spoiler, but if you don't see it coming, woe unto you). Prescribing super powers as the antidote to modern day office work is... a curious solution at best.

Oh, and yeah... this is based on Mark "My Ego is Huuuuuuuge" Millar's graphic novel, which I've never read.

Viva La Gorbie!

I have very little idea what these guys are literally saying, but I appreciate the overall message of the video.

As I said to Steven, when he sent me the video, What isn't awesome in this video? That said, its not meant for the eyes of our more sensitive viewers, so please view with discretion.


GORBACHOV: THE MUSIC VIDEO - BIGGER AND RUSSIANER from Tom Stern on Vimeo.

For something of an explanation, go here.

Mascot Fail

thanks to Dug

Taste Test!

It seems Jamie has decided to carry on in the grand League of Melbotis tradition with a taste test of her own.

Won't you go visit?

Up at Comic Fodder

I have a new post up at Comic Fodder.

Please feel free to drop by and disagree with me.

Things that sound like they're going to be a lot more interesting than they wind up being.

Movie: Two Girls and a Sailor

Is actually: a 1944 light romantic romp with Van Johnson. here.

Buy your media at Amazon (and not Target)

So, today I went to Target to return two items. I'm not a guy who returns things a lot, but as I mentioned yesterday, my copy of the Batman: Gotham Knight movie was a bit jacked up. I also bought a stereo sort of thing at Target a few months ago, and now, of the options (radio, CD, tape, record player) the radio doesn't work.

So, anyway, I took both back to Target. The Target lady basically told me: your radio was bought too long ago, so I'll only give you $35 for this item. So I figured 3 out of 4 functions ain't bad and gave up on that. After all, that's a pretty sound policy, and I didn't have my receipt.

The Batman movie, however, was another story. I bought it literally yesterday, and already they were sold out at the store. And every location within 10.3 miles. I know this, because the girl at Customer Service printed out a list of where they DID have a copy.

"That's, like, $6.00 on gas on a $19.00 movie. I just want my money."
So she called her manager.
"Sir, this is a copyright issue. We can't just refund your money."
"I worked in a record store and I know how computers work. I understand piracy. And I want my money back."
"They have it at Capitol Plaza."
"I have no reason to GO to Capitol Plaza. I'll just take my money."
So she called her super manager.
"Sir, it's a copyright issue."
"I know. But its your copy of the movie that's messed up. I brought it back within 24 hours. Its not my fault you guys understocked."
"We can hold it and maybe call you when we get more copies in."
"When will that be?"
"I don't know."
"And will you actually call me?"
"Well..."
"No. This is your broken movie. Just give me my money."
"I can't do that, it's a copyright issue."
"You're saying you don't stand by your own product? I can show you on any DVD player how the disc is messed up."
"It's a copyright issue."
"I didn't copy it. I want the same movie and you're out of stock. How is that my problem?"
"We can only exchange opened items for the same item."
"Which you don't have."
"Right."
"You know, Amazon would help me out."
"Probably."
"You're giving me absolutely no reason to shop here anymore."
"You can call our Customer Service Line."
"Which will do what?"
"They'll hear you out and make a decision."
And I could just imagine the person I'd be talking to in India or Minneapolis, working from a script, telling me they'd put me in a system, and in 6-8 months they'd call me back to tell me I was stuck with a broken movie.
"No. This is ridiculous. I'm not calling some service line."
But that's the magic of customer service today, I guess. You get sent to make some phone call you know you will be buried.
"Here, let me get you a card for our customer service-"
"I don't want it. I'll just come back some other time and get a new copy."
"Let me get you a copy of the card for our-"
"I'm not going to call and disappear into some phone limbo. Absolutely not. This is terrible service."
"Sir, its not our policy, its copyright..." Blah blah blah
It IS the store's policy, by the way. The DVD companies aren't cutting a major retailer like Target out of the chain. Its just easier to NOT help one customer. We had the same concerns when i worked at a record store in 1997, but we didn't consider it the customer's problem if we didn't have something stocked. We gave them store credit for our inability to have, say, more than one copy of "The very best of Connie Francis".
So I DID take the DVD home. I have no idea when or if they'll get in more copies. And what sort of ridiculous policy I can look forward to from the service desk at that point.


Anyhow, this is the future of shopping.

Three lessons:

1) My ability to outright own a copy of digital media, a la iTunes, for my TV can't come quickly enough.
2) Amazon. I had always pre-ordered my copies of movies through Amazon, but decided that it was a waste of packaging, etc.. as I always wind up seeing the movie at the store for sale for roughly the same price. But from now on, Amazon. They've never once given me lip about returning ANYTHING.
3) Target reps could have cared. They actively chose not to help in any way other than trying to get me to go 10.4 miles away.

The store, by the way, was Austin Southpark SuperTarget. The manager's name was "Stan".

And don't get me started on the idiots at Circuit City. But here's a hint to Circuit City management: If they can't find the movie called "V for Vendetta" in the alphabetically filed DVD's in under 15 minutes, its time to take a serious look at your hiring policies.

A Moment for Baby

I am sorry to report that Randy and the Mysterious M's cat, Baby, has passed away.

If you've known Randy for a while, followed his various blogs, etc... you will know that Randy loves his cats the way we at League of Melbotis consider the pets to be members of the family.

Unfortunately, Baby had been dealt several ailments, and M and Randy had to say good-bye.

So, please take a moment today and visit Randy's post. And take a moment today to salute Baby.

DCU MMORPG preview!

Well, looks like I'll be needing to buy a new home PC fairly soon. The good folks at Sony Online Entertainment are getting pretty far along with their online multiplayer game set in the world of DC Comics.



I believe I am EXACTLY the target market for this game. I read piles of DC Comics, and I'm not averse to games, but I spend my time and money on comics rather than on, say, World of Warcraft. So, I think they can consider this one copy and a membership sold.

They're actually working on this game in Austin, which is sort of mind blowing. I've applied there once or twice, but Im not really sure how to shine the Bat Signal on me and say "seriously, I'll work like a maniac on this one."

Bat-related Items

As you know, the new Batman movie is coming to the theaters. I'm pleased as punch, and it seems that early reviews are looking pretty good.

So here's some Bat-items:

Bat-Item #1: I'm in deep yogurt with Jamie. You see, The Dark Knight is being released to theaters on Friday, July 18th. I have bought two tickets to the 11:40pm screening for Thursday, July 17th at the Alamo South.

We're headed for Houston on Friday afternoon after Jamie's been to dialysis on Friday morning. As she has to be up at 7:30ish for dialysis on Friday, it seems that she probably won't be going to the movies with me until the wee hours of Thursday.

So... I have a spare Bat-ticket if anyone wants to see The Dark Knight next Thursday evening. Just shoot me a bat-mail.

Bat-Item #2: If you have a few spare minutes, check out the spoof Michael Bay script for a Batman sequel at The Spill. Totally, positively brilliant.

Sadly, it seems folks in the comments section were not clear that this was a bit of a larf at the expense of Mr. Bay. So... yeah.

And it seems the site is where Korey, Jamie's former co-worker, is now cooling his heels.

Thanks to Shoemaker for sending this link.


Bat-Item #3: I'm pinching pennies with generic cereal and soda, but I did go out and pick up "Batman: Gotham Knight". It's DC's latest animated feature film, and its well worth checking out. It's six short films, all loosely interconnected and handled by several different writers and artists.

As I told Jamie, I almost found the movie a bit overwhelming. The artistry of the movie is unquestionable. This is excellent talent having a field day with the material. I should probably mention the animation was also in what I'll loosely call the "anime" style, though it vastly surpasses, say... Pokemon, and there are fairly vast differences between US animation and the storytelling techniques of Anime.

The Gotham of the film falls somewhere between the "Batman Begins" and the continuity of the comics, including villains and protagonists from the funny book pages (I was thrilled to see Cris Allen show up, and a stand-in for Renee Montoya).

Unfortunately, I'm returning the 2-disc set. The second disc of the set was messed up pretty badly and really blew up my DVD player. I wound up having to unplug the player from the wall to reboot it.

Bat-Item #4: Grant Morrison's run on Batman has gotten so topsy turvy, I think I'm just going to have to hold out until the end of the Batman RIP storyline before I have anything intelligent to say about it.

That said, I'm enjoying it.

Bat-Item #5: From what I've read, it doesn't sound like "The Dark Knight" is a movie for little kids. Or even much of a family-fun film. Which is putting the marketing ad-in's in a weird spot.

At Target today, I saw the action figures for the new movie (they're pretty good!), but I kept thinking how weird it was to have toys of an actor so recently passed, and playing a murderous lunatic at that.

Throw in the images of Bale's Batman looking back at me from candy wrappers and cereal boxes, and its an odd, odd mix.

(sidenote: Speaking of toys, if anyone finds the Superman ImagiNext toy with Superman and Krypto, buy it for me. I will reimburse you.)

I guess it speaks to the flexibility and resiliency of the Batman franchise that he can be a smiling face on a kid's toy in one aisle of a store, and he's breaking the bones of thugs in a movie playing at the cinema, and nobody "bats" an eye.

Bat-Item #6: The Alamo South is showing the classic Adam West version of Batman at 11:00 AM next Monday through Thursday. I am totally going. And I'm bringing my Bat Shark Repellent.