V - Episode 4. We watched.

This episode was a real turning point for "V". It marked the moment when you realized that the writers and producers did, in fact, have an idea of what they were doing, but that idea is just sort of dumb.

Once again in the 4th episode, character development remains non-existent except for the "shocking revelation" that Padre Blando is a former soldier (which means a plot line about guilt, overcoming guilt, and explaining how he'll henceforth be a bad-ass - ie: American Sayid.). Villains continued to stare out of windows. Erica's parenting skills put her more in the class of passive roommate than "Mom". And the fate of the entire known galaxy of sentients depends on a kid with a brain the size of a walnut.

On the plus side: Apparently there IS a reason that the V's do not wander around their ships looking like lizards, and it has something to do with trauma that occurs if they don't wear their people-suits. Which... yeah. It makes a convenient plot device, but makes the people-suits no less ridiculous.

In this episode, the show writers once again ham-handedly tried to reflect the "ripped from the headlines" approach, by continuing to exploit our superstitious beliefs about modern medicine by revealing that the flu vaccine is actually an alien plot against us (that's what we need. More people deciding not to get the flu shot. Slow clap, ABC.).

As revealed last week, we have aliens acting as if a dweebish 17-year old* is some sort of lynchpin for their ability to conquer Earth (and that teen's mom just happens to be one of a few people that know tha V's are up to no good. What a koinky-dink.).

If I may:

Look, aliens. If you're going to conquer earth, and your plan relies upon seducing a 17 year old with a willing blond (easy) and counting upon a slow witted 17 year old in any way (not so easy), I hope there's a "Plan B". I recommend lasers.

At this point, I'm almost curious to see what happens in March when the show returns, because I want to see how this Rube Goldberg plot to take over the Earth unfolds, and how it couldn't just be done better with nukes or germ warfare or a million other options.

The episode also leaned upon the "oh, my God! How did that happen? Flashback to 14 hours earlier" in media res plot device to absolutely no positive effect. That device is supposed to be there for when something indicated in the scene (a) actually happens, or (b) matters.

At some point I made a comment that a hapless and easily dispatched security guard became a focus for the show, and... in the final scenes of the episode, he actually did reappear as a plot point. It was kind of exciting that I called that one out. But, you know, you have a seemingly pointless lingering shot of a guy...

Had the US not had major security changes in the past 10 years, some of "V" would be a bit easier to buy. It is significantly harder to believe that the world would be happily letting aliens treat our ill and integrate into our society within weeks of their arrival. I was laughing so hard I had to pause the DVR when our Arch Villainess casually announces she's got a miracle shot which, apparently, had FDA approval and was being released immediately. We've got cures for the common cold we haven't managed to squeeze through the approval process.

One of the reasons "Alien Nation" never worked for me was that the producers were never creative enough to ponder how different an alien culture might be from our own. District 9 is one of the few movies that, though borrowing heavily from refugeeism as seen in South Africa, bothered to make the aliens significantly different from the culture they approached, not just in looks, but in culture, etc... Honestly, if an alien with no accent of any sort, who looked a bit like Swiss Miss told me she heard a place had "amazing pizza", or that it even knew what pizza was, you should be terrified. How long had these aliens been watching? And what were they doing now?

The concept of the alien technology is also all straight from the Ikea catalog, the designs are uninspired and insipid, and I think last night they tried to pass off a dental lamp for super-science. If we're to believe alien technology looks like a Fujitsu tablet PC, that the interiors of their ships look like the causeway at a convention center, and that they all dress in leftovers from the STNG wardrobe department, why bother with appearing to be aliens at all?

The tragedy of V is that it didn't need to be hackneyed and trite. What COULD have been an interesting series, looking at how this sort of thing was handled on local, federal and an international level, instead (much like Flash Forward) became much more about an FBI in pursuit of badguys. The opportunity to see a White House dealing with the arrival of seemingly benevolent aliens seems infinitely more interesting than Erica Evans doing database searches, which is what the show effectively turned into last episode (also, shouldn't she be at work? At least a little?). How Earth handles seemingly benevolent gifts of science and industry over even a few months might have at least given us something to hang the plot on.

Instead, the show focuses entirely on only five or six people, turning intergalactic warfare into a parlor mystery. To that end, when our sleeper-agent V's human girlfriend** happened to be the shrink to Rodney the Rebellious Teen (the same teen who the leader of an alien race believes is going to be their "in" to humanity), any sense of scale the show carried was poured down the drain. These characters simply don't need to be connected so tightly.

I don't want to be rude, but this is a show that counts on its audience to have formed a concept of how government, the FDA, the military, police, religion, etc... function entirely by watching other TV shows. To just go along with a scenario in which THIS is how the world would react to aliens seems... bizarre. It also counts on an audience to get excited by retread plot points, hackey villainous behavior, and to give no critical examination of the actual events of the story and just coast along with whatever the show shovels out. Getting excited that the actors from Firefly are getting work again isn't a pass.

Honestly, the show just sort of makes me mad. Elizabeth Mitchell is a talented and foxy actress, and she's stuck in a lead role with all the depth of a kiddy pool. It's bad enough that the producers lifted an old concept, but the stunning lack of vision for how this would be an improvement is disappointing.

I'm told that the show will have new producers when it returns, and so part of me wants to give the show another shot. After all, there IS opportunity to retool the show and possibly save it from itself.

Also, Elizabeth Mitchell.



*I have heard a lot of people's messages on the phone. Only on TV do I hear the ever-present "This is (fill-in-blank). You know what to do." as an instruction for leaving a message. I don't know if that's a standard LA-thing, or what... But, I doubt anybody ever actually used "you know what to do" as an outgoing message with such a terrific lack of irony.

Seriously, stop it. It makes your heroes sound douche-y.

**Also, must everyone who mentions they're feeling a bit off on TV either (a) be diagnosed with an incurable and fatal disease, or (b) be pregnant? And didn't we already do the whole "V-Baby" thing pretty ineffectively in the original series? You couldn't hold out a little longer or telegraph that one a little more?

Macy's Parade

Somehow I had totally forgotten that Thursday isn't just Thanksgiving, its the Macy's Parade. The League LOVES the parade no less now than when we were 7 years old. And now, we have a much greater appreciation of The Rockettes. Always the highlight of the parade for this avid viewer.



I skip the local parades every year as I know they can't hold a candle to 50 foot Snoopy, Disney-approved child-talent lip-synching in the cold and marching bands from across the US.

An extra thrill this year: they've had to change the route, and a lot of people are predicting that the balloons can't make the turn at one point. It is going to be AWESOME.

Also, Rockettes!



The parade also is the catalyst for holiday staple "Miracle on 34th Street", which is a favorite here at League HQ. It features Santa on trial for his sanity and the always foxy Maureen O'Hara. What's not to like?


Santa, you can give me a linebacker's shoulder pads and make me terribly attractive. Oh, wait. I have those things.

So I'll be up and tuning in. And shouting profanities at Meredith Viera, who just dumbs the whole thing up when she hosts.

Turkey Day approaches

Oh, evolution. You are the cruelest @#$%& of them all.

Short post as I assume many have taken the day and nobody should be ruining their holiday reading this blog, anyway.

Dug and K are coming into town tomorrow. Our first Turkey Day with them as a married couple. But this is also going to be the first Holiday with what's going to be the configuration for our family for quite a while.

As you may know, Jamie's folks are living in San Marcos, and my own folks have a home in N. Austin, where they plan to retire. Jason is living here, of course, and Cousin Sue and Ciera live in N. Austin. So we're all going to be able to see each other with a minimum of traveling (aside from poor Dug and K., because I don't see this whole operation heading to Berkeley for a couple of years, so eastward they'll come).

So Thursday should be food, Dallas Cowboys and the UT/ TAMU game.

I am thankful for a lot of stuff this year, not the least is that Scout is home and safe, and relatively unharmed.

Here's a list of things The League is thankful for:

1. League-Pals and Leaguers. You know who you are, and we salute you.
2. A not-insane family. Seriously. Thank you for not being crazy.
3. Dogs and cats.
4. A job that I am amazed I am still happy to walk into each and every day (and where you never know what the day will bring)
5. Size 14 socks.
6. Jamie.
7. A super-lifestyle.
8. Not ever winding up on "Cheaters".
9. No zombies.
10. Twilight romance weird, but not as weird as Godzilla star-crossed lovers story.

We'll be back soon and will most likely post intermittently.

Fallon does Neil Young covering Fresh Prince

thx to Keenan

Turtles Forever

I actually am watching the "Turtles Forever" movie from CW Kids. And its a really weird take-off on DC "Crisis on Multiple Earths" storylines/ "Crisis on Infinite Earths" in almost any way which counts.



Its also oddly meta for a kid's Saturday morning cartoon. I mean, they just arrived in "Turtle Earth Prime", which is the first issue of the classic Eastman and Laird run on TMNT from the mid-80's.

Eastman and Laird's TMNT was part of why I got into comics as a kid, and its part of why I started wanting to draw. I'm not a huge TMNT nut, but...

I'm kind of freaking out a little bit, because it looks exactly like the comics. And that is real, yo.


Classic TMNT from the 1980's (first issue)

Also, at commercial breaks, the networks keeps advertising "Christmas Buddies", which...



the part of me which loves horrible movies and the part of me that likes cute golden retriever puppies are sort of conspiring to make me watch this thing at some point.

Scout's Amazing Misadventure

Around 2:45, Jamie called me at my desk.

"Scout got out. She found a hole in the fence and pushed her way out. She's running around the neighborhood."

A month ago or so I took Scout to the park and was astounded when she was off her leash. "If she ever runs, we are never going to catch her," I said. And, sure enough, given the opportunity, she ran.



Jamie did a great job trying to track her down, but no dice. A few people had seen her, but we have a creek which runs the length of our subdivision and the adjoining subdivision, and many people who back up to it do not have fences. Which means, really, Scout could be anywhere in about a mile radius in about twenty minutes.

I got home about 3:20 or so, and began looking at the park. I looked high and low, tromping around the weeds, to no avail.

Jamie was circling, and kept coming back to the house to see if any messages were left. Her folks also zipped up to Austin and helped look around the neighborhood.

Jamie came home to find some strangers who had found poor Scout. Unfortunately, she'd been clipped by a car out on Manchaca.

Don't worry, Scout is okay, we think.



I can't really thank enough the complete strangers who corralled her and brought her home. That people would pull over and help out like that? Anyway, it gives me a moment of pause and a little something to be grateful for this week. Thanks, South Austin people. You're the best.

I was still wandering around a creek when Jamie gave me a call, and I sent her on ahead to the vet. As I realized the one spot where I'd crossed the creek, I couldn't recross, and spent about ten minutes trying to figure out how to get back across.



The good folks at Century Animal Clinic gave Scout a thorough looking over, and we're feeling pretty good about how Scout is doing. She's resting, tired, and she had a big day. I'm keeping an eye on her to make sure we didn't miss anything. But at least she's home.

I can say: Scout did have a collar with a tag stating our address and home number. We're going to need to replace that with our cell number as it would have been a lot easier to reach us while we were searching for Scout. We also have Scout chipped, which I guess a lot of the Black Helicopter folks think is just one step away from chipping all us humans (too late for me, I got my flu shot). But as stressed as I was, I knew that between tags and chipping, we'd find Scout sooner or later. I just would have preferred to find her before she got hit by a car.

She's home and sleeping, and we're very happy to have her here.

V Update

So, last night I finally got around to watching the most recent episode (week 3) of "V" (featuring Elizabeth Mitchell).

At the end of the episode, I proclaimed "I think that's my last episode of 'V'".

Jamie informed me that there's only one more filmed episode of the show, or something. She sort of tends to know these things thanks to her handy subscription of Entertainment Weekly.

So for anyone who believed it is a mini-series, you were dealing with better info than what I had. But if it is a 4-episode series, its got one of the least impressive trajectories of any mini I've had the pleasure of seeing.

I will review episode 4, just to round it out. Also, Elizabeth Mitchell.

Twilight/ New Moon/ Sparkle Vampires

The work of Stephenie Meyer is a hot button issue at League HQ. I am not supposed to tell you that Jamie has read the entire series.

Or that she owns the Blu-Ray of the first movie. Or that she will see New Moon in the theater at least once, if not twice.

Anyway, as you can imagine, the Sparkle Vampire franchise is a pretty small sliver of Jamie's media intake in comparison with how I've said "I ain't reading anything but stuff about people in tights fighting colorfully-dressed, albeit ineffective criminals. Often on the moon.", which Jamie is very good about not nitpicking to death.

But.

It's my official stance that Twilight is sort of stupefying in how it embraces and endorses behavior that seems abusive.

Look, I get that teen-age girls (and adults, in many cases) get all excited about broody, mysterious guys. But when they take you into the woods and talk about how they've killed people and how they can't help themselves when it comes to violent acts, saying "that's okay, we're in it together" is how women end up in half-way homes five years on.

That's not to say that Superman comics weren't (from about 1950-1977) almost entirely about Superman being an emotionally manipulative jack-ass to Lois. Those Silver Age and early Bronze Age comics are often a bit iffy (including the assumption that if Lois and Clark ever did marry, she'd quit working immediately. WTF? Earning potential, people.).

Now, I should qualify my statements around Twilight. I've only seen the movie, never read any of the books, and the version of the movie I saw was RiffTrax. And I may have had a few glasses of wine. I do not know Edward and Bella the way many of you will. I do not have the Barbie dolls of Edward and Bella that I saw at Target today, for example.

I just sort of wonder how something like Twilight doesn't just slip through the cracks, but that nobody really talks about the messages of the franchise to its target audience of young women when its become such a massive phenomenon. Reviewers like Lisa Schwartzbaum of EW.com, who normally take movies to task for stepping anywhere off the line from an ERA-era take on gender politics, seem to shrug off the ick-factor of a 108 year old dude getting hot and bothered by a 17 year old girl (who, I might add, has the personality of a mopey house cat), and who alternately threatens and baits her.

My theory is as follows: The Sparkle Vampire phenomenon taps into some of being a teen-age girl that The League so completely does not get that its loosely the equivalent of why guys don't blink at the absurdity of beer commercials (ie: If you drink Natty Light, you will meet women), at which women tend to roll their eyes.

Anyway, with the release of New Moon (which I mentioned on our Facebook account that I'd go see under certain conditions), I can't help but ponder the phenomenon afresh.

It's probably also worth pondering the emasculation of vampires in the post-Anne Rice era.

The physiology and habits of vampires as described in Stoker's "Dracula" are obviously far different. Its worth noting: in the book, Dracula did not burst into flames when exposed to sunlight. I now have no idea where that came from. Instead, he simply loses his powers and is often seen sleeping. He does not sparkle. Nor is he seen as being of particular romantic interest (and it seems that the appeal of Dracula's brides hits a bit differently than Edward's appeal).

But since Anne Rice took the romantic cues of the Frank Langella-starring Dracula and spun them out to historical fiction, and authors started pondering the "what-ifs" of vampirehood, removing the limitations and peculiarities of vampires seems to be a method of humanizing the characters while simultaneously doing exactly what's happened on shows like True Blood, and that's turn the very nature of the beast on its head.

As discussed after reading "Dracula", becoming one of the Un-Dead means a dissolution of the victim's personality. The nature of vampirism is seen through a very different filter if the taking of life becomes a choice (one that we know Dracula's victims are denied). Even Dracula himself has an expression of peace after our heroes drive a stake through his heart, and so there's the tortured nobility of the Twilight vampires if they have the option to just, basically, be super-anemic. But it certainly removes the whole "eternally damned" aspect of vampirism, and just makes it an inconvenience with nifty benefits.

Its an inadvertent side-effect that the lust for blood in Edward which is read as just plain lust can be read as a lust to do violence and winnow away the personality of Bella Swan as she gives up on friends and family to be with her man.

I don't think the movies or franchise are "dangerous", per se. But it is a reminder that for all the messages we get in health class about violent, co-dependent relationships, and what we can agree are things we wouldn't normally say were okay to see in a movie as an overt message, we're happy to put aside those stances when it comes to the right story. Buried under sparkly, handsome Edward, any suggestion of abuse or violence becomes coded or muddled, and its not hard to dismiss possible readings to that point as "not getting it". After all, nothing is more powerful than the lunch-table conversations with our peers who egg us on or who feel wrong when they suggest we're making a romantic mistake, and who is the better lunch-table buddy than Bella? Heck, the first movie tells us she's the dream lunch-table pal.

Anyhow, its an interesting phenomenon. Meyer is becoming as wealthy as Rowling as the sort of pop-culture juggernaut that seems self-perpetuating builds around her. The kids who grew up with Harry Potter can add sex to the mix, and a dozen or so imitators can pop up in books, one CW TV show, and a grittier take on the concept on "True Blood" (I've never seen either show).

Why vampires and why now? Man, I have no idea. Certainly it helps fulfill that angle that pop-culture critics kept insisting we needed out of the modern superhero any time a superhero wasn't "conflicted" enough. By jettisoning the concept of vampire as monster, and reinstating them into the equation as nothing but a tortured paramour, Dracula goes from hellspawn to unique-fixer-upper opportunity. Its not enough that with power comes responsibility, but the powerful pay for their "abilities" in obvious and direct ways, sort of how Singer's X-Men seemed to in the first outing (and which was melodramatically forgotten by the time Wolverine rolled around).

WKRP Thanksgiving

In middle school, around 5:00 every day WGN showed re-runs of "WKRP in Cincinatti". I think I wound up watching it as a default rather than local news or Wheel of Fortune, and probably because Loni Anderson seemed like a living cartoon (but a young League found Jan Smithers as Bailey Quarters had her own, and just as interesting thing, going on.).

But the show has not just one of my favorite Holiday scenes, but my favorite scenes in television. Ever.

The WKRP Thanksgiving Promotion.

Happy Thanksgiving - WKRP Turkey Drop - kewego
http://www.sharkhost.com Happy Thanksgiving from Sharkhost.com! This is a blast from the past, WKRP in Cincinnati Famous Turkey Drop. Sharkhost does not own any copyright to this material. Web host, web design, marketing and promotion.

Keywords: thanksgiving happy wkrp cincinnati turkey drop

Video from sharkhost

Senior Day at UT Football

after yelling so much at the game, I am a little hoarse.

Well, I was expecting UT to spank Kansas. And had they not given up a ridiculous kick return, UT would have had an even better game.

Anyhow, hopefully we'll still be voted in the top 3 or four this week, given the decisive 50-21 win.

Jamie, Jason, The Admiral and I attended this evening's contest on the University of Texas campus. I yelled. A lot. Its what I do.

It was Senior Day, which meant the final home game for players like McCoy, Shipley, Muckleroy and Houston. No doubt 2010 will be another building year as QB Gilbert figures out if he can fill the shoes of his predecessors (speaking of, James Brown was at the game! That's some mid-90's UT flashback material.).

But it was also Senior Day for dozens of members of the UT marching band, sideline crew, cheerleaders, dance squad, and limitless drunk kids in the stands. Colt and his crew were gracious, and a huge number of fans remained in the stands to salute the seniors and give them one last Texas cheer.

Anyway, a lot of fun.

It was also the first game Jamie and I have attended together, which seems odd, given that we've been together since '95. But there you have it. I think she had a good time, even if she disappeared for 30 minutes in pursuit of a hot cocoa. I'm chivalrous, but not "30 minutes standing in line for cocoa during the 3rd and 4th quarter" chivalrous.

We cheer a lot together at home, but its more fun to cheer with 103,000 of your closest friends.

And, hey, Fantomenos, saw that Oregon score and highlights. Holy smokes.

Spill Movie Reviews: New Moon

Back around the time I graduated from UT, there was a local public access movie review show called "The Reel Deal" featuring a handful of 20-something guys who were actually pretty good. The show was funny, as well produced as anything you were likely to see on Access, and the reviews were usually very fair, especially as you had between 3 and 5 people giving their opinion.

Interestingly, one of the guys worked with Jamie at former Austin dotcom cautionary tale, Human Code. Jamie and Korey became chummy, and so I got to know him a bit a while back.

It seems that Martin and Korey have moved on to The Spill, an online animated movie review site. Its pretty darn good.

Here's their review of "New Moon", both before and after they'd seen the movie. And it is hilarious (but PG-13, and other reviews stray into R-rated territory).

Die. Die. Die.

Enemy Ace thinks there are already too many cooks in the kitchen

Enemy Ace doesn't think you should read this series, either.

I'm going to some Leadership whatzit in the morning. Gotta get up early.

Get your own post.

Anniversary of Aggie Bonfire Tragedy

The 18th marks the 10th anniversary of the collapse of the Aggie Bonfire. Leaguers will remember the bonfire as one of the great traditions not just in sports, but a great Texas tradition.

It was always mind-boggling to hear about the bonfire, a massive, multi-story structure that was built by students, and whose eventual torching was the social event of each year at Texas A&M for many students and alumni. The fire, of course, was Texas A&M's good-natured effigy of UT, and the fire was equal parts man-made wonder and joke. Unfortunately, unforeseen construction issues occurred with the fire being built for the 1999 UT/ TAMU match-up, and the tower fell, killing 12 students.

I was working on campus at UT at the time, and what I remember was the shock on campus, and the line that went around the mall in front of the tower as students queued to give blood, unsure of what else to do. Neither students nor staff could imagine what must have been going on at the Texas A&M campus.

Anyway, the ensuing years have certainly not meant that people have forgotten. Texas A&M has erected a very nice memorial to the students, and memories of the bonfire are still a favorite topic of conversation among Aggies and friends who were able to ever see the fire.

I am not sure what Aggies do these days prior to the game. But Aggie spirit is something to behold (and fear a bit, if you're a Longhorn on gameday), and hasn't flagged a bit in the years since the tragedy.

Some Items I Love About Vegas

1) Shooting machine guns is no problem (for a fee)

2) Drivers.

I love cab drivers no matter where I am, but in Vegas, those dudes have seen everything and will talk about anything.

We had a great conversation with a cabbie who explained how, after what sounded like he'd married a string of elderly women for their money, was now retiring from a life of being a kept man and becoming a plain-old gigolo. Retired is a strong word. His last wife had died of natural causes, which led me to believe she had at least twenty five years on him.

But he was pretty pumped about this new chapter in his life. In fact, he showed us the books he was reading on becoming a gigolo.

Also chatted with a driver who was amazed by the nuclear test sites near Vegas, and theorized it was that which made people who lived there too long begin to transform into "the people from 'The Hills Have Eyes'". Apparently a lifetime of cigarette smoke, drinking, desert sun and recycled air is no problem, though.

We also chatted on the fact that Vegas doesn't recycle, which, we agreed was insane. It was decided he should seek seed money and start a tire and paper recycling plant a few miles outside the city (to keep the fumes from getting the tourists).

3) Moms next to hookers.

Visitors to Vegas don't just put up with stuff they'd never have in their own backyard, they embrace the malarkey. You really can't get anywhere too far on the famed "Strip" without someone trying to get you to call a "lady of the night" by handing you a glossy card with a picture of what is surely not the actual hooker who will show up at your room (another bit of unsolicited information the drivers wanted to make sure I had in my pocket).

Its just interesting to me to see all these people who look exactly like my parent's friends having a club soda and sitting at the slots, I guess just tuning out what has to be a thriving industry in Nevada.

Most of me suspects that, when you get down to it, like most other things people pretend to be outraged by, Las Vegas is testament to the fact that the vast majority just doesn't really care all that much about what we label societal ills when they crop up in our backyard. But, you know, put them in the glitter ball that is Vegas, give some free drinks at the slots, and it's all good.

4) Celebrities you totally forgot about (some of whom are dead) have a lucrative career going on

When was the last time you thought about Bette Midler? I'll tell you: that episode of Seinfeld more than ten years ago. But in Vegas, Midler has a stunningly successful show at Caesar's Palace. So does Cher. Barry Manilow is rocking the Hilton, I believe.

Yeah, there's all the Cirque du Soleil shows, etc... but Wayne Brady has a show, and all kinds of other comedians, singers, etc... And there's even some celebrities who are there in spirit via long-running drag shows with the stars impersonating all sorts of celebrities.

And even being dead is no barrier. The mostly-dead Beatles have a successful show of people singing karaoke of their stuff, and the Rat Pack is refused the right to rest in peace as impersonator after impersonator puts on hammy versions of Dino, Frank, Sammy, etc... And certainly there's no shortage of Elvii, and I actually bore witness to a street performer getting into his Michael Jackson getup in the bathroom at a Cali-Mex place. And, heck, I passed a Liberace museum on my way to shoot guns.

Brooksie Would Have Been 106

I have my favorites of the silver screen, and in college discovered silent-era star and bon-vivant, Louise Brooks (aka: Lulu, aka: Brooksie).

You may not know her name, but you know the look she institutionalized.


ArtMan 2112 posted an original drawing of Louise Brooks at his site for her birthday, which was Saturday. And this got me thinking: I should probably mention Louise Brooks as a Dame in the Media The League Once Dug.

The Louise Brooks Society maintains a website and a blog as complete as I think you're going to find on any starlet of the silent film era.

I've only seen a few Brooks movies, but there's no doubt that she manages to steal the show in the films in which she appears (a bit like whenever Veronica Lake would bother to just show up in a frame of film).



There's also a fascinating documentary about Brooks called "Looking for Lulu", that's equal parts an amazing life story and fodder for a great movie that's never been made, following the tragic trajectory and surprising turn in Brooks' final years. Someone out there should be turning the story into the next great BioPic. But, holy cow, did it sound like Brooks was a handful, both as a starlet and still her declining years.



Brooks seems to have been the definitive Jazz Age Baby, and was the shadow opposite of Mary Pickford's curls and vestigial Victorian-era faux-virginal innocence (which ultimately ended her career in a completely different manner). Brooks was eclipsed by her contemporaries such as Clara Bow, who, you know, is her own thing and we do not complain.

Most famous for her roles in "Pandora's Box" (recommended), which gave her the nickname of her character, Lulu, and Prix de Beaute, Brooks had gone to Europe to act for Pabst, etc... Her attempted return to Hollywood didn't go particularly well.

I'm not exactly sure about the reasons, but if I had to guess:

breakfast is the most important meal of the day

Brooks would disappear after appearing in a few b-movies. I am not sure if a post-code Hollywood couldn't handle her, or if she had simply burned too many bridges. As near as I feel like relating what happened (rather than suggesting you check out the documentary), she more or less became a kept-woman, and I think the doc was politely suggesting she took up the world's oldest profession. It sounds like Brooksie may have been suffering from some emotional/ mental issues if diagnosed today.


Later, she would find some grace as she was accidentally discovered by a film enthusiast who referred her to the Kodak company in the 70's.

Brooks has been imitated to such a degree (its unclear if she invented bangs on women rather than girls, but she seems to have been the one to popularize the look), that she now exists more as archetype than person. Which is odd.

But I do find that small bit of redemption for Brooks at the end of her life (when it sounds like she was still a cutting pain-in-the-ass) to be an oddly romantic story. And, honestly, she was very good in what she did. Its unfortunate she never made the leap to talkies, but many, many did not.



So a belated birthday salute to Louise Brooks.



Coincidentally, if you find "Beggars of Life" on DVD (a legal copy), let me know. While the studios are doing a surprisingly good job of bringing stuff from the 40's and 50's to DVD, the silent era has been more or less ignored, as near as I can tell. Right now, the only way I can find to see a lot of these movies is on VHS, which... there's not even a deck in my house, so I'm out of luck, anyway.

I suspect as the catalogs of the studios become available on-demand, this sort of thing will be easier to obtain.

Superman Returns: The Extended Cut?

The 2006 film "Superman Returns" clocks about 2.5 hours, and by many viewers' standards, its a pretty long viewing experience as it is. Its not much of an action movie, and isn't for everyone, but...

People following the production closely noted that there were a lot of missing pieces from the final product that we'd seen in previews, stills, etc...

In many ways, I believe it may have resulted in a loss of context in favor of a run-time short enough to get more butts in seats. My understanding is that the final cut was approved and managed by director Bryan Singer, but there have long been stories around Superman Returns that Singer somewhat lost control of the production. So was the 2.5 hour version what the creators intended?

Superman Homepage has posted a story that several Super-Geeks have put together a petition for an extended cut, which they're calling "The Bryan Singer Cut".

Supposedly this version includes more footage of Kal-El's visit to the remains of Krypton, the interior of his spaceship, a lot more in Smallville, and probably other footage I don't know about. There's supposedly a new relationship between the windowed Martha Kent and Ben Hubbard, a guy mentioned in a single line (but never seen) in the first Superman movie.

I would love to see this version of the movie, and given that fan pestering resulted in the release of Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut, its possible WB could work with Donner and Co. to put together a lengthier version of "Superman Returns".

So... If you want to help out Supes, The League and the weirdness of Superman Fandom, you can click here to learn more. Beware: there's a blast of Super-Music when you click the link.

Back from Vegas

Well, goodness. That was certainly Vegas-sy, was it not?

Had an absolutely great time with 20 dudes from Austin, Seattle and Vancouver. The rules of Vegas are clear, and in the advertising: what happens in Vegas, etc... And so while we can discuss the trip in broad strokes...



Arrived Thursday night, ate quickly, and then I met Jerry Springer.

That's right. Jerry Springer.

We stayed at Planet Hollywood on the strip, down near Paris and the Bellagio. The "America's Got Talent" TV program tapes there (I think), but while its not currently taping, I guess they hired several of the acts from the show who perform as a live stage show-thing with Jerry Springer as MC.

Anyhow, I'd been at the hotel all of an hour and was having a cocktail with the assembled crew near the Sportsbook, and Springer wandered in (an enormous cigar in his mouth) to check some scores. He was only modestly mobbed, and I asked politely to meet him (he seem amused that I'd called him "Mr. Springer"). Hopefully Matt will e-mail me the picture this week. Anyway, the man was extremely gracious, and I've been a fan since college. No, I don't watch every day, but I watch from time to time when I'm home on a weekday.

(Anytime you want to know what I think America is really like, I ask you to consider how many guests Springer has had on his show over its 2 decades of existence. Also, the existence and popularity of Las Vegas now that its ditched its "It's Family Fun!" angle of the 1990's.)

One oddity of Vegas (or maybe not so odd) was how quickly we all decided 4:00 or 4:30 AM seemed like a reasonable bedtime, and so we were all crawling out of bed at 12:00 or so Pacific time for breakfast.

Friday we headed to "The Gun Store". I have conflicted views on how our 2nd Amendment has been interpreted, but by golly, I was fully in support of SOMEBODY having the right to rent me time with a machinegun by Friday evening.

Shoemaker got a slightly more... bad-ass package, but The League went vintage and got the WWII package, where we got to fire an MP40 SMG, a 1911 Pistol .45, and a Thompson SMG. It was all very Sgt. Rock. And I shot the holy hell out of some paper targets (we're all ace shots at 20 feet, it seems).

I also learned I have no idea how to hold a pistol correctly.

Attempted to play a game called Pai Gow, which was a variation on Poker, and immediately blew through what I'd set aside for the tables in about 25 minutes. I am not ready for much more than nickel video poker, and we've confirmed I'm barely okay at that.

I was disappointed at how expensive I found the food, and never really wound up having a kick-ass meal, but given what I was paying for stuff I wasn't blown away by, I wasn't looking for much better than how we did.

The best part, of course, was an opportunity to hang out with local friends in an environment outside of our day-to-day, catch-up with old, very good friends from out of town, and meet some new guys you can get along with pretty darn well.

Things I could do without:

Being sold on the very hotel I am in, the entire time I am there. You already have my money, casino.

The Strip is very much appealing to the E!/ Us Weekly lifestyle in a way I imagine many would find off-putting. They may not care, but it seems like there's very little between that avenue and hotels which are clearly passing their prime. I just was a little tired of the LA-Couture thing by end of last night. Everyone's a rock star in Vegas. I get it.

Anyway, no plans for pics. I didn't take any, and its probably bad form to publicly post pics from Vegas should any show up in my e-mail.

Returning Shortly...

In Vegas with 15 dudes for the weekend. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

No, I've Never Actually Read the Books. Why?

Calvin found this.



From the studio who brought you "Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus". Seriously.

I haven't seen the movie, but seeing a poster with Sherlock Holmes and dinosaurs, a gigantic squid AND fire breathing dragons on it is exactly representative of everything I think about when I consider how Hollywood deals with perfectly good source material. Except that there are no boobs anywhere on the poster.

Yes, I know Asylum is sort of kidding as a company. I am not sure their audience knows that.

Coming to DVD end of January.

KareBear Returns to Africa

So tomorrow my Ma returns to Kenya. She went last spring as part of a group from her church that visits semi-annually to fit locals with glasses. Not a bad gig, and as I understand it, its a pretty chummy set up. The locals get to have a good laugh at the expense of confused Americans and the Americans get to meet people in a context that's not part of the hospitality industry in a completely different part of the world.

Plus, Giraffes.



The missionaries do get a "free" day, and it sounds like KareBear will be heading to the farm from "Out of Africa", the real life home of Karen von Blixen-Finecke (aka: Isak Dinesen). Apparently the place is now a park.

No, I've only seen the movie and never read the book.

Mostly, however, its eye-glasses time.

Anyway, we wish KareBear safe travels and look forward to hearing her stories over Thanksgiving.

Madonna, eat Lady Gaga's Dust

Lauren and Randy pointed to this video, and I can see why.

In the tradition of pop stars who relied upon image, sex and production value over any actual ability to sing or dance and who aren't necessarily traditionally beautiful, Lady Gaga is picking up where Madonna dropped off when I was in high school. No doubt this video would have been "controversial" in the late-80's and early 1990's for, basically, freaking out The Moral Majority.

Today, its just a particularly well-produced video. But, nonetheless, Mom, you can probably skip this one.


If I wasn't a fan before, they had me from 3:43 to the end

Despite the fact its a fairly standard driving disco song, it's clever and sort of tragic and fits in with Gaga's over-the-topishness in a way I can't help but admire. Seriously, whether I love the music or not (and I actually do like this track), I have to salute that this isn't going weird for Lady Gaga, but from what I can tell, this is sort of where her persona lives.

I am reminded of how vague accusations seemed to surface that Madonna had co-opted, processed and (possibly accidentally) made okay for the Pepsi Generation the culture of the gay community to create a persona at times, and its hard to look at Lady Gaga and not get the same, vibe. There's something oddly Hedwig-like about the personality she's creating that I wonder how it sits with John Cameron Mitchell. At minimum, the lush costuming, elaborate make-up, etc... seems lifted from a drag show. And I'd guess I'm not the only one whose reading some of that, as, after all, the lady was accused of packing just this summer (which I think was disproved, but am also fairly certain is a little irrelevant).

But I gotta go with Randy and Lauren on this. I'm digging the video, and on view #4, the song.

A Tragic Lack of Bubo

I am not so sure about this one. I can no longer guarantee I'll see stuff like this, the way I once could. But I kind of want to see what they do, you know?

Calibos and Medusa could wind up being really cool in this version. Could, being the operative word. But I don't see any actor listed for Calibos, so...

The League Watches "V", Week 2

Well, it's certainly a television show, isn't it? It has actors, and sets, and stuff.

Here's the thing: any sense of tension you're trying to build gets totally deflated when you know exactly what's happening and exactly what your bad guys are up to. And to have people walking around expressly saying what's happening doesn't really help.

I was really looking forward to having an excuse to stare at Elizabeth Mitchell once a week, but they are really making it difficult to want to see Mitchell slog her way through clunky exposition and this mix of V and "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (who is a lizard person? ANYONE CAN BE A LIZARD PERSON!!!!" Thus, lots of squinty looks and insert shots of extras because everyone is a suspect!!!).

It just feels like the show refuses to acknowledge that the same audience that's made Lost a hit could be patient enough to let them tell their story. Ie: Lost may have gone too far the other direction, but if there's no mystery to what the invaders are up to (and I'm guessing stealth invasion) and you won't even put it through its paces, if you can't be patient, why should I be?

Also:

Dear World,

If Aliens show up in massive ships with an iffy sounding agenda, amazing technology far superior to anything we've got, and seem to be trying way, way too hard to ingratiate themselves to us, I expect you will at least TRY to have a military presence, quarantine, etc... in the first two weeks of their arrival.

Not just act like a busload of Canadians or "Up With People" have decided to camp out in a parking lot.

Best,

The League

Anyway, week 2 wasn't any better than week 1. They get 1 or 2 more weeks. Even with this ridiculous subplot featuring the kid.

Also, if you think nobody would be shooting at those big ships, Hollywood, you really, really do not know America.

What sort of annoys me is knowing that all the sci-fi fanboys who insist that anything that's genre fiction is worthy of being saved are going to love this show.

Still. It has Elizabeth Mitchell...


Her name's Mitchell. She's a cop.

The League Salutes: Veterans

Its no secret The League has not served his country, or, really, anyone.

We are very proud of the service done by The Admiral (not actually an Admiral, but formerly of the USAF) who served in Vietnam and of our Grandfather's service in the 82nd Airborne during World War II. And let me point out that Jamie's own dad was Army for many years (on the front lines against tooth decay, but that's just one way to fight a battle, people).



We looked with awe at these men and women's service when we were younger, but as time has marched on, that's deepened to true gratitude. I have never had to pick up a gun, I have enjoyed my freedoms without worry, lived without worry of any attack upon me or my family, and there are millions who have served to ensure that could be true.

It is impossible to say that its easy for me to see the purpose of some of our wars and military actions. To pretend the US has always been in the right in all military application is dishonest and to suggest otherwise means we cannot learn from past error and judiciously consider when we put troops in harm's way. But we've always had brave men and women who were able to be there when Uncle Sam asked. They've done it for little pay, for little glory, but because they could serve, and that's something we can't treasure enough.

The League of Melbotis salutes all veterans today, whether infantry or sailor or technician or dentist.

Vegas Hiatus

Some people have weird jobs

On Thursday I wing off for sunny Las Vegas, Nevada with several dudes from the greater Austin area. We plan to meet up with dudes from the Pacific Northwest. Some of you may know The My and Manzo.

I do not return until Sunday, so you're going to have to bear with a bit of radio silence from LoM for a few days while we bury a few bodies in the desert.

I am not really sure what to expect, to the point where I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to pack. Honestly, part of me knows that if I need a tie to go anywhere, its somewhere I can't afford enough to be there in the first place.


Pretty much what happens the minute you step foot off the plane in Vegas.

And, yeah, its sort of canned and cliche to head to Vegas with your male buddies as you try to deny that you're all entering "that point" in your life, but, what the hell... If I didn't go, I'd regret it forever.

I've been to Vegas enough times to know that while movies like "The Hangover" are cute, my experience has been far from "anything can happen", but much more of a "wow, it sure cost a lot for anything to happen and somehow the most fun was that Star Trek exhibit thing". Also to know that mega-conventions are fun on Day 1, and each day afterward is progressively more depressing.


May the spirit of Goulet guide me in Vegas, as he does every day

Also, on my first trip out, Columbine happened. On the next trip, I was there on 9/11/2001. So, you know, not all great memories.

If anyone is going to be in the area, Leaguers, let me know. I'd love to see you and have a soda with you at Circus Circus.

The Wall

I was in 9th grade when The Wall came down. A lot of people are going to have something much more intelligent to say about the fall of the Berlin Wall. I see no reason for that to happen here, but I'd hate to let the moment of the 20th Anniversary fall by the wayside without mention.

To some extent, as memory serves, I was born and raised and nurtured on such a steady diet of NATO and America being Awesome and Communism being Evil that there was a hint of inevitability to the wall eventually coming down, but nobody thought it was going to happen when and how it did. At least in the group of 14 year old boys I talked to. We mostly believed it would be in 250 years after a fierce laser-pistol and Commie-Robot-Army battle.

The climate prior to the Fall of the Wall, and the domino effects in Eastern Europe, meant I was used to regular patrols of my neighborhood by F4's from the local Air Force base, and mutually assured destruction as routine a thought as if I wanted Coke or Pepsi, but there you have it.

In a way, losing The Wall was a bit of a bummer. The Wall was this big, obvious metaphor that we got cool movies based upon where democracy-loving spies, Germans, etc... got to cross the wall and shoot the bird at Evil Communists as they snuck past them in the night.

Mr. White, my 9th grade geography teacher, made sure we watched video of Germans partying along the wall as it was being destroyed by hand. A bit of a former hippy and amazingly socially conscious for a high school geography teacher, Mr. White saw to it that the import of the moment was not lost upon us. Although he did not include in his lesson that it was President Reagan's magic fairy dust that brought The Wall down, as the story has now been written.

For a bunch of kids raised to believe that sooner or later, we were going to be going bayonet-to-bayonet with some Godless Commie (most likely right there on top of The Wall), suddenly realizing Glasnost was sort of working out came as a total @#$%ing shock. Hating Commies was just part of every day life, and with The Wall coming down, it was now just... over.

I really have no idea how German reunification went. Fine, I suppose. I don't remember nearly as many stories about East Germany as I've seen on Russia and the legacy of 5 Year Plans and factory cities being shuttered.

I've now met more people from East Germany and Russia than I have from Delaware or Maine. My colleague is married to party official's daughter. My pal Dan is married to a Russian molecular biologist. Its a crazy world.

Sure, in the ensuing years we ignored the lessons of Rambo III and Nostradamus and found all new people to pick a fight with, but its just not the same. Back then it felt a bit more like "my local sports franchise is better than your local sports franchise". The Russians and East Germans were jerks who would nationalize your lemonade stand, but they didn't live in caves and declare 1000 year jihads upon you. Building better jets to keep up with your enemy used to mean something, dammit.

It wasn't until later in high school and certainly in college where I began to understand why Russia didn't exactly spruce up East Germany, and hadn't taken to cuddling the Germans like best buddies. It's still amazing that Berlin managed to exist in its split island state as long as it did. In many ways, that's something that I believe future generations simply will refuse to believe existed, when nobody remembers Checkpoint Charlie.

Germany has experienced a reunification that most didn't expect, and it makes one wonder if, cooler heads prevailing, the DMZ couldn't disintegrate and Korea become a single state in my lifetime.

I don't really miss the Red Menace, I suppose. Not when we've managed to find so many other threats to worry about. I do miss sexy East German double-agents and movies depicting heroics done in the name of democracy.

So long, Wall. We don't miss you all that much.

Showcase Presents

Last night I went to an after-hours event at Austin Books with a special display of what they term "Showcase Comics". These are comics that are not in the plentiful back-issue bins, but which the good folks at Austin Books have recognized of being of exceptional quality either through what state they are in or because of their value to fans.

What made last night particularly interesting was that it was spotlighting some new comics that Austin Books had recently acquired, including a large Golden Age collection, all held by the same person since they were bought off the rack. I saw Superman and Batman comics (and had one in my hand) that I assumed I could easily have never seen in person.



For good or ill, I brought my personal financial consultant with me (Jamie) to ensure I did nothing rash, and while I very much wanted to bring home Bob Oksner-covered Superman issues in the #20-50 range, I decided it was okay to have just had the good fortune to see them.

There's an amazing amount of history to those comics, and to know that they have been in a single person's possession all these years is astonishing. Many valuable comics are bought and sold as a commodity, and its not hard to believe you're the third or fourth person whose owned the comic when you're looking at the more valuable stuff. But seeing a kid's signature get neater on covers as the years progress gives you a moment of pause. Let alone that the kid hung onto these comics for so many years.

There are the War Bond ads on some covers, and Superman beating up Hermann Goering on others. They're not just Superman collectibles, but a slice of the zeitgeist of the era (as comics so often are. Someday, you need to Google "Prez, the Teenage President").

Anyhow, I had opportunity to consider my own fandom and chat with the hardcore collectors who were there (and absolutely know that angle of the comic collectible market). It was reassuring to see that they're still picking these comics up out of love, not as investors. One gentlemen mentioned to me that he'd never actually resold a comic, which, considering what he was buying, sort of blew my mind.

It was fun.

Rather than sulk, I did manage to grab a Jimmy Olsen issue and a great Kubert-drawn Enemy Ace comic.

Poor Little Lu (I broke my dog)

Last night I was playing with Lucy (our beloved little black lab) and picked her up.

She let out a yelp, which Lucy has only ever done once before when I was playing with her roughly.

Well, we left for a little while and came back to find Lucy was not willing to climb up on the couch (which you would think I'd be happy about, but...), and was just not terribly mobile.

I was going to just keep an eye on her, because with dogs half the time this stuff just passes. But the last time she yelped, we wound up with a trip to the vet and learned she has hip dysplacia, a fairly common problem in large-breed thorough-breds (part of why we went for 100% American Mutt when we adopted Scout).

Anyhow, at 2:30 AM I was walking into the emergency vet.

Lucy received a narcotic of some sort and... high animals are a really weird thing to deal with. She's also got some pills for the issue. She's resting next to Jamie on the couch, but we had to get her up there.

Because I'd stayed up late to keep an eye on her, and then missed sleep from about 2:00 - 4:30 AM, I'm a little punchy today.

I am most sad that it was my fault. Very Jack Torrance of me.

Lucy used to bounce all over the place and "delicate" was not a word I would have associated with her physique. But I need to adjust when we're playing, and not do anything as simple as lift her anywhere except onto the bed or into the car. And not take it as a sign that her jumping all over creation is the same thing as her getting picked up.

The League Sings

photo courtesy Mr. Harms

Yes, We Are Still Shutting Down/ Future Plans

I am flattered that Leaguers are asking about whether or not we're still shutting down, whether we'll continue on, if there aren't possibilities for other outlets, etc...

Its always been a shock to me that so few have written in asking me to please, please just stop it seemed nice enough. Knowing that anyone gives a darn enough to ask that we should continue is a bit overwhelming.

To cut to the chase, here's the game plan.

1) December 20th, in the PM, I will have up the final post. It's done already.
2) We will continue to maintain a presence on Facebook at facebook.com/melbotis. A lot of the smaller items you'd find here are what you'll find there. We're also on Twitter, but that's a repost of Facebook, so there you go. twitter.com/melbotis
3) April 21st, 2010, I will make a statement on Facebook in regards to any future plans for more blogging activity.

I need to give myself hard deadlines on this stuff as it will force decisions one way or another. I was a PM for a while.



Anyway, it's been suggested I talk about favorite posts.

Rather than do that (because I've got 3,300+ posts) I welcome you guys to guest-post on any particular League-related topic, post, etc... that caught your fancy. You can contact me via e-mail. We'll run those right up until that last week.

I will, I believe, have some sort of series of "before we go" posts to wrap things up. So, if you have any requests, send them in. We live to serve, and I'll be looking for ideas for generating content. And, no, I have no idea what I mean by "if you have any requests".

The League Reads/ Listens to: Dracula

On Thursday morning I finished a 12-hour audio book of the original novel of "Dracula".



If you've grown up in the US, you're familiar with Dracula via Bela Lugosi, Christopher Lee, Gary Oldman or any of the other innumerable TV or film versions of the character. And, most likely, you've seen one of those History Channel specials on "The Real Dracula" about the Romanian count who is rumored to have killed tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people on the end of a pike.

I've seen the Browning directed, Lugosi starring "Dracula" at least five times, seen the Coppola directed, Oldman-starring "Dracula" two or three times, seen a few other versions, at least two plays of Dracula (one of which was a musical), odd sequels to Dracula from "Dracula 2000" to "Monster Squad" (which gave us the phrase "The Wolfman has Nards!", for which I am eternally grateful).

But I'd never read the book.


Drac didn't get to tidy up before you popped by.

For today's reader who picks up the book for the first time, unfortunately, "Dracula" has two things going against it.

1) It definitely works in that "paid by the word" mode of its contemporaries, where characters are likely to have long, unimportant asides and speeches that go nowhere. By today's standards of narrative economy, its hard-going at times.
2) It more or less defined a tradition and formula, based upon folklore and tradition, that has become so completely ingrained in the popular psyche that you already know what is coming through 99% of the book. Especially if you were familiar with the book from other sources.

That said...

Its not a bad listen or read. Even scenes which we've all witnessed on screen becoming far more chilling as described in the course of the book and with Stoker's ability to deliver this information as fresh and revelatory.

What struck me most is that, while Stoker does make a 4th quarter play to recognize that his Count was also once a human and therefore should get some measure of pity, this is not the "oh, I'm really just a stand in for those broody guys from high school" Dracula which we've come to know over the years. My guess is that the Lugosi (who, apparently, the ladies quite liked), and the lack of gore and general ickiness described in the book, makes becoming a vampire seem not all that bad. You stay good-looking, you never die or get sick, you get your way all the time, and have an array of super powers that would make Martian Manhunter jealous.


got... got a little something... right there. on your chin. there. you're gonna want a napkin.

But Stoker's Dracula and vampires are drawn from the tradition of demons and monsters, not GQ models. Dracula himself is horrible to behold before Harker even figures out there's anything amiss. Drawing blood isn't an exaggerated hicky, but something Drac and his lady-friends do by stealing peasant children in sacks and then going family-style on them. Turning into a vampire isn't waking up with superpowers, as if one were accidentally bathed in cosmic rays, but a weeks-long process of slow death with the knowledge that one is becoming a hellspawn, but cannot even tell anyone else to kill them, because that will just turn you into the hellspawn directly.

It's a bad scene, and when pop culture critics look with crooked eye at the post-Anne Rice foppish-emo take on vampires, there's a reason for it. The horror of being one of the undead is not an inconvenience, which is more or less how Rice and the post-Rice followers portrayed their vampires. There is no choice to live well by raiding blood supplies or hunting deer or whatever modern creators have decided is an acceptable substitute, because becoming a vampire means loss of self, and what replaces you (whether you or a demon substitute) is not particularly interested in the ethics of the living.

Being a vampire is not all that different from modern images of zombie-ism, in that the zombies (and in many cases, werewolves) obviously have no choice about their motivations. Oddly, one of the more popular visions which seemed to match up was how vampires were portrayed in the first season or two of Buffy (which I didn't watch after season two or so. Sue me.).


Dracula enjoys the great taste of Keanu.

I tip my hat to Stoker's depiction of Mina, a character who is portrayed often as a damsel in distress, and unconvincingly as a character at all by Winona Ryder. Stoker celebrates "the modern woman" who was still 30 years off from the vote, but who men were surprised to learn could type, understand science and math, etc... And which Madam Mina seems to exemplify (and is far, far more interesting a character than the character of Lucy, who mostly swoons and feels pretty, then sick).

The belief in science and reason by the heroes is never questioned, superstition is puzzled out, and even the supernatural is more or less suggested to be just one more mystery of science. This current is occasionally explicitly addressed, but is certainly evident in how Stoker's characters grapple with the dilemma's surrounding them and give way from from what they know as gentlemen, to what they eventually open their minds to via observation and experience (which, honestly, takes up a huge portion of the book, and often seems to be the exact point of the book).

I confess to a particular affection for the character of Quincey Morris, who is often eliminated from the stage and screen versions, as his role is mostly to be The Manly Texan who is there to wield a Bowie knife and be happy to tackle some vampires while the Englishmen are grieving, swooning, etc...

And, of course, its easy to see why so many versions (particularly Coppola's film) become enamored with the wily genius of Van Helsing (whose name but nothing else is lifted for the Hugh Jackman movie of a few years back then seemed hellbent on ruining Universal's Monster Movie franchise). He's an interesting character, a man of science who openly recognizes that perhaps the age of reason and scientific investigation have led to people not looking at the sources of folklore and myth.

Some of the "scientific" discussion doesn't make a load of sense (I never got the "child-brain vs. man-brain" thing), but Van Helsing really sells it.

Dracula himself becomes somewhat lost as a character after the first quarter of the book. Only Harker has direct conversations with Dracula, while still in Transylvania. The polite foreigner who has moved into town of stage and screen is an invention intended to keep Drac on stage. But you kind of have to love how darned eeee-vil Dracula is when dealing with Harker, and what a clear picture is drawn of who the guys is, and that he is, in fact, struggling to get the hell out of the sticks and be a man of the world/ have a much bigger hunting ground.

If I've a complaint, its that Dracula's death is oddly ant-climatic both because (a) you know its coming, and (b) by today's standards, its not exactly a "Big Boss Fight". I found myself sort of rooting for the guy by the end, which I would guess is not an uncommon position.


Batman makes everything awesomer.

Regarding sex and the vampire:

There's absolutely no question where Stoker was going with his succubi-like "Brides of Dracula" (a term which doesn't actually appear in the book, if memory serves). Harker discusses what a big turn-on the women are, and when Van Helsing happens upon them, he's no less enchanted.

However, having had heard repeatedly how "sexy" we're to find the character od Dracula, and given the tone of the Frank Langella, Lugosi and Lee films, the eroticism of Dracula himself is a bit non-existent. The source I figured I was counting on for the lustiness of Dracula was Coppola's presentation, which he were told was a faithful adaptation, but that's fairly iffy. Given that the book is written in the form of various journals and diaries, it's possible, one supposes, that Mina and Lucy simply do not discuss the sexual aspects of vampirism, but the scenes I recall from the Coppolla film in which Mina is wooed just aren't there.

I'm of a mind that Stoker intended for Dracula himself to be deriving some sort of pleasure from taking his female victims (which is very different from how one assumes Dracula dealt with the all-male crew of the ship which brought him to England, who seem to have been roughly dispatched), as he returns to them night after night, and the book does suggest that Vampirism may spread by lovers willingly being turned to spend eternity with their partners.

But as for a suave gentlemen who maybe nibbles a little to hard on the neck? That seems to be derived from plays and movies, as neither Mina or Lucy ever really actually meet Dracula outside of when he comes to them at night.

On the whole, yes, the book could be a bit of a struggle to get through if you're not one for the flowery and often purple prose of the time period. But as vampires have become such a hot topic of books, TV and film of late, its worth going back to the original material and trying to understand how we got to the point where vampires are hanging out in the deep south and ordering blood at bars, and it's probably worth considering why we try, quite literally, to defang them.

The book, be forewarned, was unusual for its day. Vampires were not dominating the sales charts, and every school kid probably didn't know how two or three ways in which you could bump off the undead. So the book spends no small amount of time basically explaining what the heck is going on and setting up the various rules and roles of vampires which our vampire media of today still at least acknowledges.

I did enjoy the book, and if you were of a mind to get at the origin of vampire in the popular imagination, I'd say its an invaluable read. I do not believe I'll seek out Dracula's predecessors in literature and penny dreadfuls (I think I've actually seen a filmic adaptation of Carmilla back in college, but beer was involved, so...).

If this Existed, I Would Read It (update: It is real, I will read it)

fun with Photoshop at Postmodernbarney.com

Editor's Note: Dorian (author at Postmodernbarney) has written in to inform me that this is an actual book, not Photoshop at all! I am... amazed. And now will be seeking my very own copy. A trip to Half-Price before I buy from Amazon.

Half Mast

Killeen and Ft. Hood are not all that far from Austin.

My evening ran long, and so I wasn't going to post at all this evening, but before turning in, I wanted to join in with so many others who are shocked and stunned by the events at Ft. Hood today.

Details are sketchy as they always are in the first 24 hours of any such incident. I've not been watching much but the local news, trying to avoid what will surely be knee-jerk and uninformed reactions to the situation, which does the victims no honor.

I am positive that the soldiers of Ft. Hood and all military installations will take this day with the same resolution with which they face challenges abroad.

If you read this site, you will know I'm no jingoist, but like most people who love their country, I salute the women and men of the armed forces, and find it all the greater tragedy that any of them would be attacked by one of their own, and one they should have felt theyc ould trust over all.

May the US military pick up the pieces, learn what you can from an act of senseless violence, and continue on.

From the AP wire and Austin American Statesman.

Wish I Had Taken a Picture

An organization on campus had put together a Date Auction in order to raise funds. The theme, as near as I could tell, was "Jack the Ripper".

1) I find it interesting when people decide to raise funds by becoming "escorts" for an evening. That's really the first thing to come to mind? Really?

2) Jack the Ripper ranks up there, shortly behind Jeffrey Dahmer, as the worst "date" ever. He, too, paid for an evening's entertainment. I'm just saying.

Anyway, let us thank Jebus for student organizations and their odd, odd ways of trying to raise funds (I paid someone $3 today for a cupcake to raise money for what I believed to be their Diwali festival. Yes, I was hoping for an invitation. No, I did not receive one).

Penny for the Guy?

Once again, I almost missed it. Thanks to Calvin for jogging my memory.

Inspiration for "V for Vendetta" and all around conspirator, Guy Fawkes was found out on November 5th, 1605 after trying to blow up Parliament (I like how you can say "Parliament" as an American, and nobody bats an eye and everybody knows what you mean. Thanks, cultural legacy!).

Let us just say that Guy had a rough time of it in the days that followed.

What you're going to want to know is summed up here.

Remember, remember the fifth of November,

The gunpowder treason and plot,

I know of no reason

Why the gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

So let us all give a penny for the guy, and a salute to the majesty of the Crown.